bit of a late start this day. bit of a case of the mondays and the sense that time is slipping away from you. summer stress! had a nice visit in burnoutington yesterday, saw my bro too. have so much to do why am i blogging aghh. brb with something realer.
don’t get too attached to this painting i’m mailing it soon to lesliebian. i brought it here to guilt/force myself to do it. am i the only one who finds shipping and handling to be utterly annoying? when will there be a service that comes to your house when you call or email and say hey i have a lamp please bring your van full of bubble wrap, package accordingly and get the heck out of here like i have a maytag box kicking around to restructure into a suitable package. am i right? and, like i want to do that anyway. can someone go onto dragon’s den please and make this business happen? all you need is a van and then you drive to the post office. done. you can call your company the middleman or something cute stupid like that.
the absolute only reason why i pierced my ears or wanted to get them done so late in life (five months ago!) was to exclusively wear feather earrings because of this video.
i have absolutely zero shame in my love of top forty garbage. i’ll unearth my rants about it if i have any energy left after writing this pile of crap. FOUND IT READ IT AND COMMIT TO MEMORY.
many styles of feathers to choose from i held them all up to my face and knew these were the ones, kinda thundercats. i wanted a natural colour not bird-like peacock vibrant. i want to look like an animal woman, with fur/feathers growing out of me like the phoenix in the kanye runaway video.
and my shirt, an homage to dazed and confused AIR RAID YOU FRESHMEN BITCHES! it was a hit at steamwhistle people (drunk baseball fans) kept yelling seniors! at me and i was so clued out, then i got it and rolled with it. oh the jokes i can get out of this one. obvs photobooth makes me backward, and the room.
finally did them. they say not to wear for more than 7 days which i guess means i destroyed my nails. oh well. my minx nail tech will fix me up afterward. anyway, i somehow did this totally wasted, one hand only at first, super easy. just did the other hand now.
i party hair fidget. it’s at that length that it’s long enough to see when i look down so i’m more aware of it, i see it and then go oh hello, lets have a hair sweep over that shoulder right there, yeah that’s the spot, no? not good enough. satisfied? ok i’ll just tussle you a little bit here while nodding and put you right back to how you were in the first place. then lets do this 34565 times for the rest of the day.
i am SO wearing the hell out of this hat come winter. teacher has all kinds of wicked accessories a brit poppy dapper m’f’r might own. score.
i woke up and went out with how my hair was exactly as it was when i awoke, no brushing. my cowlick will be cut into a more streamlined layer brennen said it looks like i am wearing a hair hat. well, at least i am not wearing a weave. how mean is it to be jealous of other blonds with longer hair, that makes them prettier cos mermaids are always prettier, but you know it’s extensions. dilemma. i guess look at it as plastic surgery or wearing makeup? verdict: don’t be an asshole or say anything.
i got another pair of cutie patootie shorts from UO. show ya later. i am so pumped little shorts are in. summer shopping depresses me and stresses me out it’s like lying in bed staring at the ceiling panic, i don’t think there is anything in the city made for ME! omg summer is ruined! totally right?
loved this. on the right was my bible while reading it (he never replied by the way i might email him ONE last chance tucker max you asshole) and then on the left we have my pedigree.
i wish UO didn’t rip everyone’s designs off all the time and overprice everythang. we suicide shopped between there and AA and it was not enjoyable. to shop under duress, hung, stressed, timelined, bitchy lazy hipsters sneering at you, while sleigh bells is jacked to eleven i had style exchange montreal crushf–d flashbacks. we almost hung raged on a chick at AA. like honestly, someone’s gonna get a fat lip from me one of these days if these mouthy 20 year olds don’t smarten the eff up and respect thy elder.
cabbing to the pier. jason was texting me the boat’s leaving we were inches away. when i tell a cab driver to speed what i really mean is drive on sidewalks and on two wheels and get my ass there i will pay double. they never do it though. i am a cab whisperer, i’ll have my hand on the door handle and before even getting in i know he’s a slow driver or a prick, sometimes i’ll next ‘em and close the door. they love that. i love the ones that eavesdrop in on your soap opera.
which teacher and i had yesterday en route back to the tower to clean it up for a little “to-do” cab drivers get to hear the most personal of things and i don’t care, where is it gonna go? i’ve had drivers so immersed in my drama they drive way passed our destination, and of course i’m not paying any attention anyway cos a heart to heart is happening in the backseat. they turn the meter off at that point. these are the cab ride days of our lives.
we could have water taxi’d to it but that would be embarrassing. darius is like what am i a sultan? too much attention no thank yew. there’s one on june 24 or something, i’ll be in south beach july 1/4 so not able to go for those oh well. at least we got up and out with nice outfits. the lisas coulda gone on they made it in time but the day was about hanging as a pack so we stayed on land.
i couldn’t finish this. i asked if they had champagne, waitress said they didn’t. they did. no baby didn’t flip out or say i told you so. even though she made our skin crawl down our faces waiting for service. then a beautiful bollywood cast came in all in amazing futuristic euro fashions. i was in a makeup competition with one of the girls, we kept looking at each other like two cupcakes haha. omg her eye makeup was awesome and their one token white friend was wearing guy-liner too. hi can we have your life today what the hell is your back story, so intrigued! people should pass notes to each other in restaurants. YES WE ARE ON A DATE or I’M IN TOWN FOR ONE WEEK ON A BENDER DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME BLOW?
some people at steamwhistle asked me if these were some namebrand, perrys? please no way guy, with fads/trends until you settle on the style and are sure of it, you go no name, then when ready, splash on expensive conformity.
butt cleave underoos from AA. need a pair in every colour.
you can see on my back splotches. that’s total pigment loss and why i won’t tan my back because it will be more pronounced so i’m going to look like a weirdo all summer long, brown in the front, ghost in the back.
oh, and as for the name of this post, i’ve decided to burlesque dance again and this time as myself: RAYMI THE MINX. no brainer, duh? i will require a few girls but yeah, soon, sometime this summer, raymi the minx will be strip teasing von teese style. i danced on the bar at Motel last night in my jeans running shoes and seniors shirt (like tracey rock of love) and then all the girls copied me coyote ugly ugh but i stood out the most because i had the best moves. i’m really good and when i break out of my shyness, it works. what venue would i do this at? somewhere classy, tattoo’s stage is nice and has an actual stripper pole so hmmmm. ps. i will wear a minx tail too.
i’m actually in the middle of a panic attack here. it was a very humid day, stressful day, so i sequestered myself to the rehearsal space while the girls had break in the back. blasting tunes and being constructive helps anxiety, and then it goes away, and then you have a video like this.
strung out sunday begins, see you in Burnoutington!
ok remember how i keep pestering you about the Carole’s Cheesecake Cake Baking + Cooking Evening with Carole and Michael THIS WEDNESDAY JUNE 15 6-9PM? well there’s that but also groupon launched a deal at 3am for CCC and it’s selling like gangbusters (so far 529 bought in 8 hours) you can access the coupon there i don’t have a direct funnel link so there’s no point or ability to track analytics but anyway, THIS WEDNESDAY JUNE 15 at Carole’s Cheesecake i will be making my own damn cake and i will give it to my dad for father’s day the weekend after! yay go me best daughter ever. so my little foodielites i’d love for you to join us, i cannot wait.
i’m sweaty and gross as hell but strong like bull! tyler gives me a spin halfway through.
ok allow these to make up for the gross. i’ll be wearing this tonight at adventurehouse at salvador darling and i’m mouthy as hell right now so you should probably come by for a piece of that.
grabbed a few thangs from advhaus. don’t forget we are having our monthly party tonight at salvador darling, my little darlings. 1237 queen street west.
thankfully i did my grabbing clothed as walter the landlord tore all the winter plastic off the tickle trunk’s windows, i waved to him, startled him i think. cool timing. today was a great workout colleague and i did the buddy system and i full on SCHOOLED HIS ASS tapping out the end of the session by dragging tyler on the sled. filmed it. i could probably beat up your boyfriend. yes that is a threat. haha.
he was a rowdy one and i liked that a lot, couldn’t tell if the sleeves were just torn right off or a shitty job of hemming the jacket was done. custom-made, a DIY project?
and then i was offended by james joyce that f–ing sexist asshole. women HAVE emotions and yeah the majority of them (us) do fly off the emotional handle but that’s only because men make us f–ing insane! intellect my ass, more like self-serving domineering garbage. haha.
i liked their party promotion campaign. cool branding will always supersede self-proclaimed social media expertise. did anyone know of this party on twitter? doubt it.
melodie said she liked that my roots were coming in. that is such a melodie thing to say and a princess raymi no way. counting down days til my hair appt.
mish-mash post! meet carmen. jill and tyler’s third girl. i wonder if tyler has become more of a sensitive man as a result of all that femininity running around.
the pee pee pose makes your gams look awesome. oh wait, they look awesome no matter the pose. i’m going tina turner, all about the legs. even in alaska. LEGS!
taking darius to a cruise party tomorrow on a beautiful boat that fits 150 on it. will be an ice cream social. i don’t care how hungover we collectively are. BIG SUNGLASSES and BIG SMILES! we will be dressed accordingly on this beautiful vessel called the MARIPOSA BELLE.
i made this tuesday night for dinner. turkey sausage is healthiest. do NOT ever buy soy sour cream. SO disgusting. come over and have some, be my guest. bring your own spew bucket. ugh it’s making my stomach roller coaster just thinking about it. like when i had a maple sugar candy or orange chocolate. barf le barf.
that jerk powder has no heat so i dumped a ton of habanero (homemade!) sauce in this batch and it got the better of me the next day on its way out. i think our citywide hot sauce competition will be a two-parter, the going in and the are-you-man-enough going out.
and so, it appears i may be moving in. i was freaking out about it, all the cat hair, three animals plus two humans ack! maybe lady garbage can go back to the garbage? (i would NEVER fyi) but then i noticed (was reminded) that they are besties and i may have shed a little metaphorical tear. teacher is sensitive about my alleged disdain for lady garbage, no i don’t hate her she’s just, if i had to choose, HAD TO key words, it’d be her and then i would cry for days over guilt omg i think i just got my period. do you think emotions can trigger your cycle, jumpstart it? likely not cos if that were true i’d be on my period all the time right james joyce?
red flag dropped off my chairs it’s all happening man. match the couch perfectly. speaking of have to decide where to put all my shit. i have enough time to sort it out.
watching her crawl out of this was funny, i think everyone in the universe has this ikea laundry slinky, it flattens into nothing, which is what she learned when climbing out her arms were on the ground on the outside of the accordion then it SPRANG UP super wicked comically fast and her entire body was extended, legs still clung/attached to the edge. she looked at me like WTFFFF????! i just shrugged. cats are so curious, they gotta learn on their own.
stella and i experienced a FIRST together. teacher never ties her up cos he thinks she’ll be stolen. no f-ing way someone would steal a dog run up to them by a turbo platinum bombshell asshole by the time they could even make it around a corner their torso would be separated from their hips, by me, barehanded. anyway, i tied her up, she turned into a statue, got my beans ground, americano and off we went like the royals of libville that we are.
is it bad that after 3ish months i still don’t know what this cat’s actual name is? more like awesome bad. she loves this chair and is dozing in it now. nerd.
omg soo yeon lee crush. i party stalked her but didn’t have the nards to say hi. i busted her looking at me a few times, but maybe that’s because i was staring at her like i had staring problems. remember when that was a huge burn?
how do you navigate (at parties) a hamburger, a drink, your phone and purse? this moment almost made us break up (j/k) cos my f–ing stevie nicks bat dress kept tucking into my pocket when i was trying to jam my phone in it and there wasn’t a ledge near us and we were in the middle of a cold war with one another and the polite patient server, omg the longest 15 seconds of my liiiiife.
she’s so tiny i had to shuffle aside a few to capture her cos the beam totally hid her from me. how creepy does hid her from me sound? black tshirt with her was like her show pony ponger which makes sense, if she’s so good yet has to play a normie always battin’ the ball on to the floor it doesn’t give her a chance to flex her skill-set.
i saw on her twitter that she was sore from all this high heel ping ponging. worth it dude you looked solid. then friggin’ thelma and louise showed up (no, they really did and we missed them).
teach had onion soup. said if i want to get in the good books to make this. so easy, challenge accepted, i’ll just have to get in to some trouble first. there’s a food p0rny vid of this soup’s massacre.
orange and pink look so lovely together and that’s spa water, infused with cukes. delicious. going to start doing that. like right NOW in fact there’s a cute blue pitcher and a cucumber here. done.
