it is old man fil’s birthday this saturday and he will be thirty-one years old and then it is noel’s birthday on sunday and he will also be thirty-one years old. i have been trying to get fil to open his birthday present everyday since i bought it but he is one of those gays who are all into being surprised and i am all LOOK AT IT NOW!! HEY PHIL LETS OPEN YOUR PRESENTS!!!!!

nobody likes me.

i like how all my friends are like HEY RAYMI MOVE BACK TO THE CITY WE’LL HANG OUT ALL THE TIME and now that i am here they’re like, avoiding me. that’s fine, i can make new friends. if you want to be my new REAL LIFE friend email me your phone number and you can buy me lunch! I AM SERIOUS!

anyway, i am listening to the ipod machine right now so i can’t hear how loud i am farting.

also something that drives me MENTALLY INSANE in a major way is when i am finished showering and towelling-off, well before i towel-off i squeegee my body with my hands and once i get to the crack of my ass there are like a hundred hairs stuck in there, hairs from my head, long black ones and so i have to pull them all out and most of the time my tile wall hair art consists of hairs that have been in my butt. ha phil! burn on you!

read jen good’s review of MD.

i guilted her into buying it by saying look i know you and matt don’t know how to read but maybe you should get my book because YOU ARE BOTH THANKED IN IT!

Raymi,

I received your book yesetrday and I missed my ‘International migrations’ 1pm class because of it :-< You must get only good feedback so it will just be another boring email but hear this: You have balls. I fucking respect that, especially in Art. Your prose is unafraid and yet you admit being afraid sometimes, the writing is vulnerable but in a don’t-give-a-fuck-nothing-to-lose-way. It is fair to say, I believe, that this is quite rare in waves of Post Modern cynical literature. And it’s refreshing, because you’re Gen Y but you’re not cynical. Jaded yes, sad maybe, but at the end of the day very much alive, as funny as it may sound to you. And this life, as shitty as it can be sometimes, you pass it on to your readers and maybe they in turn turn you into some kind of icon just because they have no one else to look up to, or maybe because they recognize themselves in you, but at the end of the day what you do is just what artists do: make other people’s lives more meaningful. So fuck, we owe you one for being fearless yet full of fears and doubts, Raymi. Jessica

i made an amazon wishlist because i am egotistical and greedy but i don’t know how to figure out my url for it so if you want to buy me a christmas present then send me an email and i will email it to you.

raymi says:

tell noel to update his goddamn flickr

raymi says:

and u sarah need to update yer blog thing

sarah says:

will do

sarah says:

been mostly friends only recently

sarah says:

do you still sign in?

raymi says:

not really

raymi says:

i guess i should

sarah says:

NOEL UPDATE YOUR FLICKR I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS

raymi says:

AND TOUCHING YOUR BALLS

sarah says:

PLEASE UPDATE WITH PHOTOS OF YOU TOUCHING YOUR BALLS WHILST READING OUR MSN CONVOS

raymi says:

YES

yuula says:

yes

ps. now i am afraid of farting

pps. ok i’m lying, i still am farting as much as possible but still in the back of my mind i am thinking, is this going to be THE ONE!?

so we moved. the morning of moving day i called the police on the sketchbag down the hall because i didn’t want that shit on my conscience, he was yelling at his girlfriend and wouldn’t let her leave, i’ve been through that situation myself TWICE before so i couldn’t just not do something about it. three cops show up, three. then both parties filed complaints against one another and the cops told me whatever, this is a daily thing for them, she can leave the relationship but doesn’t want to bla bla blah. fine.

when in rome, be white trash i suppose.

there is no interent in our condo so i am in an internet cafe right now. my eyes can’t stay open cos of all the dust i have been in contact with and now all of a sudden i am anal about where things should be put and i am…BEING TIDY!

i know, it’s scary. who knows how long it will last.

so far my favorite new pasttime is watching kids in the park beat each other up from our balcony and then at nite watching people let their dogs shit in the snow.

speaking of feces, two nites ago at the pub i farted and i crapped my pants and i threw my underwear out in the loo and ran home and changed pants. i dunno what the fuck that was about, my metabolism and diet must be totally insane. it was pure liquid. i was talking to fil’s stepdad and i farted once then again and i knew immediately what had happened but i didn’t want to be rude and cut off the story so i stood there screaming in my head for the love of fuck until finally i bailed and when i came back i said i had a period emergency.

when i was in the bathroom aimee called and i was like FUCCCK FUUUUUUUCK FUUUUUUUUCCKK!!!!!! and told her everything and she died laughing. i went back out into the pub and asked fil for the keys and he made me tell him why and i was like JUST GIVE THEM TO ME! and he is like not until you tell me why and i was like;

FINE!!! I FARTED AND THEN I SHIT MY PANTS! HAPPY!?

am i going to have friends after this post?