afterparty

xenia got cardoored.

i have the spins here and in my head i am thinking oh fuck she’s talking look very interested.

the old gang <3.

lezbreath.

i still plan to make a movie about rogue bicycles that come alive at nite and roam the streets of toronto don’t steal my idea.

see? picture these guys chasing you down the street.

oh look, sj is talking, i am shocked.

yesterday was greasy dirtbag no shower day.

stop following me.

still my fave jew.

it’s le sook.

fil planet wasted.

hey guys is that a casiotone? plink plonk plinka plink pleenk plonk plink amazing.

normally i would regale you with all the sorts of stupid shit i was saying last nite but yeah, i won’t. i am glad fil fucked up too.

oh my, but, could it be, a pose?

jesus and the jew. shawn, jesus, owes me a painted room, cos he bet me that in the thriller video, that chick was michael jackson’s sister janet, so, michael was making out with janet, i said fine when you sober up go find out the truth and then paint my bedroom. five years later jeremy shares this with me. i have it on video.

your arm is very long.

your face being cut off was not a mistake.

cute.

same backpack.

fil carried those all the way home saying he would sell them on ebay or to samir.

i wanted to get in on this whole making “art” thing too.

abandoned nunnery canada day art show, no bigz.

whisper-talking. i produced the biggest loudest flatulence from across the street, nervous fart. it was long and loud and i am proud of it and laughing right now.

check the floaty shit in the air, safe.

i thought the one in the middle at first was feist.

then this, my guess is as good as yours.

maybe i am not intellectual enough. string on a floor is so noel.

this dude moaned a lot, turned out it was a girl?

?

i swear the one on the left was sarah, i was wrong.

my favourite part was when i almost got slammed in the face.

art man it’s so, so, art, man, woah, yeah? yeah.

i guess having a chat with the girl upstairs?

party soldier down.

hey man it’s not MY week to clean it.

hi xenia.

FIL’S PICTURES.

stay tuned for more, we partied with sook yin lee!

funniest video bestest thing get out of my life if you don’t watch all of this right now.

thanks radmad.

lead me to the building fuck you.

+++

me: im horny come here and fuck me
it might be the energy juice and vodka talking
paris hilton drew this in jail

Phil: ha i have to crap

me: ok im not horny anymore

awesome strikes again

they saw me taking pictures and mayhaps thought i was a food critic so they busted out the freshest most delicious batch, the pork was juicy and fell apart in my mouth before i could even chew it, so incredible.

everytime i burped yesterday i could still taste it i want to go eat it again today.

almost gone no i didn’t eat it all garbagemouth fil helped.

i dunno why fil insists on getting these dumplings, the peanut sauce isn’t even spicy and the whole lot just tastes like a hot peanut butter sandwich.

best tasting beer i ever had hangover beers are my friend.

on the back of that wine is a dig at americans by the french, something like a convenient bottle for on the go americans, like you’re SO on the go you have to have a bottle of gimmicky wine and not the regular bottles.

only jerks drink rose hey peirot come over for some wine i got this great new rose i am just dying to open.

oops

you are bald

cid loves it when i sing

she wrote back

—————– Original Message —————–
From: *************
Date: Jun 30, 2007 4:26 PM

did dugan also tell you that he didn’t exactly stick up for you either? in fact i’m pretty sure he was making cracks about you also.
you might want to consider the idea of letting go.
i’m amazed that you would even bother with shit like that.
ouuu i said shit about you… are you gonna call me up 10 years from now to tell me how upset you got?

and from me:

i do not care what dugan said, i’m sure he had his reasons
everyone in that little circle are pathetic dinks anyway i’m sure you have loads of fun at the saloon laughing it up about people who made it out of streetsville and aren’t trash

the fact that you felt the need to offer up this information speaks volumes of your character, i regret ever humouring you in highschool

getting closure on something that pissed you off when the opportunity presents itself is not “out there” and no i was not tossing and turning thinking about this for years don’t flatter yourself, i saw you, i remembered it, i wrote you

you’ve always been bitter, nasty and unlikable, i would change that

and then:

lauren,

i could care less if you like me. i could care less about what you think of me.

as for you “humoring me in high school” listen why did you even bother? i didn’t bother humoring you.

and as for this getting “closure”. ummm sure?
i’m sorry.

and your little message didn’t “piss me off” i haven’t had a harder laugh in a long while.

now would you stop bothering me and go on with your own life?

–wendy

and from me:

oh blow me you pretentious little scag
my only intention in writing you is to give you a head’s up about accountability for the shit you talk, it gets back to people

—–

she posted my letter on her myspace and changed her title to nasty, bitter and unlikable. when should i let her know she is featured on my blog?

found her on myspace!

subject: magic pony

i saw you the other nite at my friend’s store
i was going to say something but was too incensed with rage i didn’t want to make a scene

dugan told me many moons ago you said that i was a walking std, scott would not grant me your phone number to call your parents and tell them their failure of a daughter is a rug-munching dyke troll

you talk shit about other girls cos you are insecure and hate yourself

enjoy your life, ugly.

love lauren white

ps. lose some weight
pps. metal sucks

july 2006 archive time.

yes i went to edgefest last summer.

nice hair loser.

shitty pointless post, and now i see what everyone is talking about, sorry guys.

look it’s jim!

fanmail.

newsflash, YOU’RE A PRICK!

fanmail telling me i am a tragic mess or something it is long.

i still get attitude from this.

your life sucks.

6 is the new 14.

here is the crap we don’t want real people with jobs to be subjected to.

fart sounding implements.

how to deal with your DEPRESSION.

3. ok i do sort of like you guys but you see what i did there? i made a JOKE, fucking try it sometime, guys le douche.

brianna just made me have a crush on her.

21 man im steudent and you.

woah deep.

i am a desperate pervert loser.

sorry fatty. wow.

the birth of stalkraymi

hamburger obsession.

we need friends.

zoo pictures.

hamburger time again.

wow. and i wasn’t even wasted.

is produce considered an aisle?

OOOH telling it like it is.

boner for kaylee still got one.

my blog is german.

the doors are LOCKED FROM THE OUTSIDE.

fil is a girl.

this just in: these things still blow.

just some pics, you know.

bla blah did this drank that watched something.

FUCK ME MILA KUNIS!!!!!

congratulations you hang with dudes.

nicest most sincere fanmail.

who is this little retard?

aw thanks.

reminder not to do bangs again.

future-me RULES!

hAlarious.

DO YOU GUYS KNOW I JUST READ THE WORD FAGGOT AND I GOT THIS BOOK FROM THE SCHOOL LIBRARY?!

i swear i thought stomach had an e.

i want to take their fun away.

dear amanda peet

stef tanz forevers.

nsfw the hairy bush pictures that everyone exploded on i still hate you guys.

thanks guys!

RAGE HASH!

i still have the rest of the kit does anyone want it?

this other super annoying thing happened last nite at lee’s, we watched this skinny jock loser trying to be a hipster dancing and bopping around and feeding drinks to his chick-friend, fine, later on i go up to the bathroom and she is sitting on the floor of a stall and her boots are sticking out from under and i was going to take a picture but i decide not to be a total inconsiderate opportunist and ask her if she is ok and i spy a bunch of spew in the toilet, it takes her awhile to respond she says yeah she is fine i ask if she is alone or came with friends she said she was alone i asked if she wanted some water she said that would be great thanks so i go get her some from the dance cave and bring it back and ask again if she has ANY friends with her (as mother theresa as i was being i was not into partying in the bathroom with a stranger all night) she says yeah she has a friend his name is mark i say what is he wearing knowing full-well it’s the skinny dancing douchebag and she says a hoodie, bingo, i go down to find him and tell fil what was taking me so long, so i find mark chatting up one of the dudes from the first band, the teeth, and i can tell he is hitting on him or trying to, he is passing a map drawn on a napkin to the guy, i say hey man your friend is puking in the bathroom she needs some help you need to go check on her and he cuts me off with a snotty whiny smile DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT? uh yeah as i was saying… DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT? yeah i got her some water but she is SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF THE BATHROOM IN A STALL AND SHE IS NOT OK then he goes oh you got her some water you’re such a hero in this condescending but somewhat sincere tone and asks again if he has to go deal with it and the teeth guy is amused by now by all this and at the audacity of the guy’s priorities so i say, i mean, she IS YOUR FRIEND to guilt the shit out of him, then walked away.

do i have to deal with it?

so many fucking things wrong with that question when your gf that YOU got plastered is alone barfing and you are whining to me a complete stranger who went out of their way to help her out while you are being a groupie-slut, it was walk away or shake him completely senseless.

and now i must fold laundry.