i just wrote this in the journal i’m keeping to later transcribe into my next book and thought i may as well just plunk it down here now. my penmanship is pretty terrible, i’ve been going back and reading aloud to fil when we are in the car some of my entries and have had to skip entire paragraphs because i have no idea what it is i wrote, and find that to be pretty funny.

nov. 24 2007 4.31pm saturday

i read somewhere today something that made me feel better about not learning another skill, by trade, like a job or school – that’s how artists make it, you just do art and nothing else basically so you are forced to succeed. there, and thus the cycle of lazy continues on a little further.

fil was moody all day yesterday cos his camera is broken and so he moped all over the place and we’re a little broke temporarily on top of that and so finally during movietime i kinda snapped, i get really affected by other people’s moods, i know you can’t be “on” all the time but anyway i said you know, i make an effort and i feel bad ALL the time and i don’t even have a reason for it, just all the time bad so i guess i understand for someone who doesn’t have depression, when things go poorly they feel it way harder than someone like me who is used to feeling that way, so when something goes wrong you’re like, so what?

anyway sometimes i feel like i’m just barely keeping it together myself while simultaneously being everyone’s monkey all the time.

this is the life i’ve chosen for myself.

the thing i read that i mentioned earlier was inspiring is all.

also in the bath earlier i looked down at my pubes and thought some were turning grey and kind of hoped it were true cos then it would give me an artistic advantage maybe, in some genre i haven’t thought of yet. anyway it was momentarily funny.

this is what last nite looked like.

fil oppressed me all day long with his depression over his broked camera.

sigh.

so i made us a girl dinner movie party.

i’ve had that shirt for a long time and i never wear it, i dunno why. well, it’s basically a t-shirt sweater, it’s vintage. i hate people who say vintage like i’m supposed to be immediately impressed, and it isn’t 1000% possible to procure a pair of vintage raybans.

cid was depressed too.

thumbs up for this party guest.

fil was a big fan of this it combined two of his favourite elements, well three really, discovery, organic, and beer.

some back-up, just in case.

doing this one tonite, i figured because it is 3 chili heat i should do the yellow curry (4 chilis) first cos when/if it blows my head off i can at least delude myself into thinking this one won’t be so bad.

very tasty and not too hot at all, i do recommend, and for $1.99 holy hell do it!

liars.

what the hell is going on?

you’d think he could at least pretend to like me sometimes.

how do you fight depression? with MORE depression! the disc skipped at all the important drama parts of the movie GOD.

chicken sausage.

get out of here sadlor!

i asked fil to take a picture of me being domesticated and he asked why because i am an animal needing to be housebroken? i meant domestic.

add the curry.

fucking yum!

we bought rechargeable batteries, fil charged them, i said to test them out why not go shave your penis bush? he does not like that term WHAT ELSE IS NEW.

here is a video of raymi’s kitchen.

and now that fil’s camera is in-repair he gets to see what it’s like coming up with written material, so far so good.

this is who i lost to for best canadian weblog.

she thanks you for your votes.

i guess i’ll start drinking, like, now.

payback time? wow what a hero you are, you murdered an animal for a retarded photo-op in your ugly christmas jumpsuit.

i feel very embarrassed for canada right now. hmm upon second glance, is that not actually NDP orange she’s wearing?

NEW CONTEST!

whoever leaves me the BEST drunk dial email/comment tonite or starting now, gets a christmas card! contest closes sunday morning. no cheating, i know what drunk typing sounds like don’t try and fool this guy, that would be like some metaphor i can’t think of right now. i guess i could also extend the contest to weed email/comments, NO MUSIC LYRICS THOUGH! haha.

good luck and god speed and for jhc’s sake, put some fucking effort into it this time.

-freddie mercury

*edit – i do not want to actually be phonecalled, just to be clear.

thanks rilah.

thanks handsome. haha he made my tits bigger too.

fil got jealous so butchie made him one.

dear raymi

-shitmountain

meanwhile, cid was giving hisself a timeout, got some mental shit to sort through, nahmean?

+++

holy shit my age!

oh look, one of madonna’s robes.

here is a video of the outox dancers, take note of my reaction at the beginning. these girls get to travel all over the world just to dance (B-) twice at launch events what the hell i quit dancing why? oh right, for weed and boyfriends that’s right. GO ME!

what did you do last nite? me? oh i just you know rushed the stage while two paris hiltons were trying to hog it secretly flipped them off fifty times and the entire audience erupted in cheers and high-fived me while kardinal offishall and some other guy i forget rapped. here is some footage of it. i’m dancing like a honky on purpose i swear, i was trying to make them feel stupid by dancing like a grade 8 dance party of one.

it was good that we were dressed like slobs last nite, i like doing that when i get vip for some launch event, cos all the others take it really seriously they’re like ahmagod all day long in their offices, sharon i have to go to a launch party tonite whatever will i wear??? SERIOUSLY SHARON! then i roll up and eat infinity free hamburgers and drinks and breakdance (i did) and people loved it (they did). the door guy was like uh YOU are on VIP? hahahaha. yes, and if you don’t like i will go home and come back looking even more like garbage. thanks rannie!

people were asking me questions as if i were on staff cos of the golf shirt i wore, one lady stroked my arm and flirtily asked about the fashion show i said WHAT!? and she asks when is it going to be, i said it already happened and it sucked and i hope it doesn’t happen again. but it did. maybe it was the orange hat. whenever i started dancing five cameras would charge me cos everyone else was standing in an insecure circle around the dancefloor not dancing so once i got cut i did these little manic foot moves what can pass as the beginning stages of breakdancing and everyone did that OH SHIT thing for me and i felt like a hero then went and hid by the window because i am shy.

i told kardinal that he did a pretty good job at humouring everyone and i bought it, he thought i was pretty funny. then we high-fived and he flew away into the nite on his fuscia unicorn.

when rannie first told me about this nite i initially thought it was a launch party for a new gay magazine, get it, outox? anyway, it’s this drink that boasts no hangover if you drink it all nite long, mix it with vodka blah blah, right now i can honestly tell you that i.am.hung. but they say that’s beCAUSE i wasn’t drinking it all nite long AND when i was, i was drinking it with alcohol.

now, i’m not a rocket scientist or anything but i’m pretty sure that you typically DO NOT get hangovers from NOT drinking alcohol, like, ALL THE TIME. so of COURSE you won’t be hungover if you drink outox all nite long. GOD!

let me know when i should turn this into the drawings of me by other people blog. this one is good because i look like jim morrison, and asian, and cid looks like he respects me. for once.

hi,

lemei

aw someone cares. i still can’t figure out if that’s a little girl or boy on the card.

the following video is not at all embarrassing because i am the dance doctor, guess what? JUST SAYING!

hey ladies raymi dance video.

you can actually see my thought process take place to incorporate karate poses on the first punch/knee-kick combo i do. did you know i was gifted? i mean it.

this is my impression of ANTM‘s heather.

no one enjoys french rap more than i do.

no limites alliance ethnik raymi dance video.

the song is no limites by alliance ethnik which came out a hundred years ago and i had to get hmv at erin mills town centre to specially order the album for me, there you go, i am cool.