SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY NO ONE CARES GO GET A NEW VIBRATOR OR SOMETHING!

haha These chicks are so old…it’s going to be like watching these hags out in the city trying to get laid at every opportunity they can find.

in one of the 600 frat houses nearby and he has a british accent and every time we walk by it seems like he amps it up a bit, like he got it into his head that this is how he will get toronto pussy, his advantage over the rest of the monkeys in the fraternity. well yesterday i finally looked up through my shades to see which lout this guy is, and i am happy to report that he actually looks like a monkey. and he’s a jock. they were all jocked out yesterday in fact and the high school part of me is always prepped and expecting something to be said when i pass by so i always have a few zingers in my pockets, but nothing is said other than this british accented puffing up fuck i wish i could remember what he said yesterday, i should start writing these gems down and practice them phonetically with a brit affect, it just really seems put on and i wonder if he ever gets called out for it, mark holmes-style at mod club.

sometimes there’s the good drunk we pass by, the eccentric kid in the sport coat totally ripped and happy to see us, pats us on the back, then we bump into him a few hours later a few streets over and we’re like family, real endearing like.

omg what should i wear tonite guuuuuuys? don’t forget i’m not babysitting any of you at imperial pub before mg’s show, though pitt plans to start getting soused early, i was toying with not even drinking today at all, we’ll see how that goes. doors are 7, first act at 8, then matt at 9 or so, i guess we’ll be at the pub for 7 or something?

Imperial Pub Tavern

54 Dundas Street East, Toronto, ON, M5B1C7

UPSTAIRS!!!

oh my purse bit the dust, zipper-wise, and if this thing came in moccasin tan i’d get it, but it doesn’t, so i won’t. any suggestions?

sniff sniff 4 dollar salvation army purse thing. might have to bust out my grandma’s old faux business tote satchel thing tonite.

i feel old: sober movie laundry patio furniture nite yes!

we rented the diving bell and the butterfly, it is sad and depressing and inspiring and then more sad and maybe a bit boring, but one of those pretentious art films you’re obligated to say you liked, you know that story about the dude who blinked out an entire novel and died ten days later? well he was the editor of french elle, and this is the movie about it. i mean, i liked it, and it made me cry, and you will like it too. but you will also be sleepy and annoyed.

attn: DUDES IN TORONTO!

Hi Raymi,

Hiiiiiiiii! I all of a sudden had a brain fart and was hoping you may be able to help! I’m working on a show that deals with women, body image & plastic surgery. We have an episode that is dealing with body modification – specifically tattoos. We’re looking for one guy with a tattoo (from 4-5:30pm) and two guys without (from 5:45-7:15) to spend sometime on camera with us tomorrow. We’re going to be shooting a fun social experiment that looks at men’s impression of women with and without tattoos.

email: sharpachu@gmail.com

britt claims to have intended to buy this for me, kept it for herself instead.

this is what time to go home looks like.

britt and her friend told me stories about their time in boarding school which lead to britt thinking i would have made a good boarding school kid, heh, yeah right, which lead to me telling just how i fared in “boarding school” england: ketamine, one nite stands, stealing furniture, walking into other people’s rooms during dinner to just hang, one girl stole my fake id, sneaking out at nite, coming back to sign in and take off again, hangovers, and i didn’t miss one class. anyway, memmooooooooories.

now i’m going to ADD clean the bathroom.

i almost just made myself barf while whitening my teeth, i see how long i can go with all the crap in my mouth before my gag reflex kicks in.

don’t you just love deucing so hard that it cancels out having to exercise today!

hey join this event ya dicks!

oh yeah everyone before matt good‘s show on thursday, go to the imperial pub/bar/tavern, whatever it’s called, same one as last time, upstairs, and this time TALK TO ME and/or INTRODUCE YOURSELF no wimpy staring from across the room!

this is when she started to get on my nerves and would not shut up about capturing these birds like i get it they’re flocking or whatever please stop yelling.

meet jade.

isn’t she just the cutest littlest whisperer!!!!!!!!

oh and then i backed into the dog’s water dish and soaked my sock and shoe.

and here i am talking like a peanut. (voice reserved for animals and small children)

+++

oh sass!

from the fred perry shoot, one of the pics of me in the pink dress (not shown here)(but i posted before) ok fine this pink dress:

anyway one will be in a poster that will be splashed all over toronto DON’T DEFACE IT! ha.

here are some ones of me looking like a muppet i don’t know why my face is so orange.

photos rachel drake.

there’s kinda a degrassi tint to these if that makes any sense at all.

on with it.

after blogging for other people you don’t have any steam left to be like I SAW THAT I DID THIS THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS BLAH BLAH INSERT PENIS JOKE. ungh. oh plus half my readers were too busy memorial daying off yesterday to care about my stupid blog, like, what do you do for memorial day anyway, go through all of your memorialies, hahaaha. sigh.

i said no to going to the jays game yesterday with pitt (still hung from the weekend and had work to do) and no to the bruce macdonald movie party launch whatever (free drinks, bad idea), instead i put my face into a plate of singapore vermicelli and inhaled, then we rented dan in real life which was half shitty and half endearing with more unrealistic idealistic garbage thrown in for good measure.

and now i must depart.

speaking of pitt, i have a new irish joke, he’s a member of the CIA: CATHOLIC IRISH ALCOHOLICS.