i wrote this real long fancy post about how much i suck at selling weed but then my computer decided to turn itself off so now i don’t feel like re-listing all reasons with my usual dumb comments thrown in so i’ll just say it straight.
i don’t have standards, i am too nice, i don’t hang around the ‘hood enough, i am too lazy, i don’t sell in large quantities i don’t try to match the competition and i smoke too much of my product.
you can look forward to a nice ‘n dirty farticle on pussy farts very very soon.
went to mod nite last nite. seems these days all u gotta do to be mod is own a dirty sweater and have big messy hair. constructed sad bastard origami from beer labels and receipts. was caught in the rain today and almost got a ticket for walking across the street on an amber light. however, i was crazily pissed off and looked like a sea hag so the cop changed his mind and decided to let me go w/o penalty.
tonite it’s dancin’ with the gurls at some meat market. these type like to get all fancy and shit. i am not in the mood to be noticed and humped and grabbed so i think i’ll sport a gramma sweater. it’s 2 dollar beer nite so i think it’s a good idea i make an appearance.
if you need me ladies, i’ll be the one propping up the end of the bar….
caught this raver girl i work with sniffing paint fumes yesterday. She decided to cut her hair in the shower and now has little hack marks on her neck. she is failing her religion class and her dad wants to put bars on the windows to keep her in or something dumb like that. everytime i speak with her i try and talk some sense, but i think it’s pointless since the advice is coming from me. it would be like the deaf leading the dumb leading the blind or whatever, i’m not up for it.
ok so the swelling has gone down and i have finally figured out how to chew properly without cracking a molar. i still talk like a retard a bit and sometimes i have this faggy little lisp. because i’m a smoker i am suppose to experience more discomfort and it’ll take longer to swell-down. the guy who did it told me the best story. he said he never checked for tightness and so one day while he was taking a piss, one ball unscrewed, his reaction was to spit it out and it landed in the urinal. wicked. ican’t make out with people or have oral sex until it is healed otherwise i’ll catch cooties.
ok so we have already seen this picture. however, i just watched the shining and i was disturbed to observe how similar i look in this picture to that of the freaky redRum boy in the shining. you be the judge.
i can’t believe i successfully carved my pumpkin without cutting off a finger or gouging the back of my hand. i baked the seeds too. they burned, of course. got my hair dyed/cut today. s’well as one of those manicure things and that hair that grows above my eyeballs – had that ripped outta my face too. they’re called eyebrows. after the lady tore off the cloths and the wax i asked her if i was bleeding.
“You no like the feeling of the pain?”
“Uhhh, not particularly on that part of my body.”
my mum insisted on the manicure and the wax torture session. not that i had a uni-brow, just cause, well, she’s a mother who likes to have hair yanked out of her body instead of shaving it off. i don’t care. the beautician lady told me that the hair of each eyebrow grows differently, like in different directions. great, i’m a freak. even when it comes to the directional growth of my eyebrow hairs.
“Your nails are so short. Do you bite them?”
No.liar
this is why I dye my hair, i do my own eyebrows and i don’t get manicures. it’s just not worth paying someone, to badmouth your beauty rituals for a couple hours. Although, the hand massage definitely felt good.
ok so i will admit, i do like how my nails look. and hair.
