If you do a cover of a Morrissey song of your choice, and put it on your blog I will mail you a photograph of mine that you can either keep or sell ( they go for a pretty penny these days).
I was hanging out in the Rodeo bar on 3rd avenue last week, started talking to a complete stranger and then all of a sudden your blog & you in general came up. Me and stranger both agreed that you are one of our most favorite people in the whole universe.
Jefferson
im pissed off the gary busey show isnt on til 7 30. guh. oh well. the wb shitty singers show is on and i love it love it. i coulda been one right? right. i hope tonite isnt boring. i hope my tan evens out. i hope my room gets magically clean on its own.
if i were a day of the week i’d be wednesday.
if i were a bird i’d be a hawk.
if i were a member of the cat family i’d be a cheeta. no puma. no panther. whichever one is the sexiest and moves in the slowest of motion.
if i were a band i’d be lush.
if i were a color i would be red.
if i were a toy i’d be a play-doh fun factory – this one i use to have as a kid that made play-doh ice creams and sundaes and wavy french fries and hamburgers and i remember my mum sitting on the livingroom floor with me, showing how to mix brown and white into flesh tone color for pretend hamburger buns.
if i were a dog i would be a miniature doberman pinscher.
if i were a book i’d be generation x, by douglas coupland.
if i were a country i’d be england.
if i were cake i’d be caramel crunch. it costs 20 dollars and my friend ward almost sat on one i bought for this tropical drink blending party of steve’s and i almost died of rage at him.
if i were clothing i’d be a scarf that is orange.
if i were a condiment i’d be ketchup. tho that’s pretty boring. maybe i’d be sauerkraut (sp?). but only this time not frozen with icicles outside of systems and gross bacon bits.
if i were a movie i’d be casino. fuck. man that opening scene with sharon stone where she throws up the guy’s chips in that glitzy white dress of hers and hair is up valley of the dolls style and deniro sees her, falls in love immediately even tho she is stirring up shit in his casino. also similar to the scene in trainspotting where renton falls in love with diane upon seeing her rudely drink both drinks of dude’s across the way by the bar.
if i were a gun i’d be a silencer pp7 that sexy sexy bitch. though the automatic weapons in goldeneye 007 for n64 are better. for example, the RCpm?90? whatever it’s called that shoots fat-ass lasers, super-ass fast at yer opponent’s head like mental and comes out the other side. the best is shooting the crap out of ‘em when they are already dead. the shotgun is pretty boss too.
if i were a song i’d be all of them. but especially that kanye west all falls down one. where’s that cd jonafran?
happy friday gang.
ms bojangles.
i had this teacher mrs brown for senior kindergarden and she was the evilest evil with cokebottle glasses and hair the color of brown owls and bowl cut bangs. she kicked some kid in the head the time i made it to grade one and was fired from teaching. banished. and good. she made me shiver. the type of woman you look at and you KNOW she will slap you on your mouth if you do something wrong, if you were her own child. ont time christina puked all over the water fountain and mrs brown is all why aren’t you drinking from the fountain and me and jonathan are like uhh theres puke on it and shes like it’s fine see i’ll drink from it and then she did drink from it because she’s a crazy lady from where crazy ladies come from and cut their hair ugly because that is how they feel on the inside, nothing but ugly. she shook me pretty roughly by the shoulders when she thought i was some other kid she was in the mood to reprimand then realised i wasnt the kid and she dropped me to the floor. fucking witch.
ive been working on a piece that speaks of sex and desperation ive been screwing on the tracks of abandoned train stations
When I pull up in my whip
Bitches wanna talk shit
I’m driving I’m glad and I’m styling
in these muthafuckas eyes did you see it?
I’m gripping these curbs
Skuur, did ya heard
I love em, my fellas, my furs
I fly like a bird
Chicken heads on the prowl
Who you trying to fuck now
Naw you ain’t getting loud
Better calm down for I smack your ass down
I need my drums bass high
Has to be my snare strings horns and
I need my Tim sound
right, left
Izzy kizzy looky here
Every time that i sell myself to you
I feel a little bit cheaper than i need to
I will tear the petals off of you
Rose red i will make you tell the truth
Was she asking for it?
Was she asking nice?
Yea she was asking you for it
Did she ask you twice?
Every time that i stare into the sun
Angel dust and my dress just comes undone
Every time that I stare into the sun
Be a model or just look like one
he screamed at me in the adult store on yonge like i was his bitch go wait in the car! it was all a joke and i couldn’t take it seriously because it was just comical and the storeclerks were like woah. we bought a butt plug and a red rocket vibedill and lube and a cockring (which we lost immediately, the cockring) i told him to kneel on the floor while i punched him a bit and called him foul names. he went back to the car to look for the cockring in his underwear and his neighbour saw, this girl, awesome. there wasn’t much of a spark between us at all tho he was awfully hot, thee hottest but too much of a playboy for me. he said this one girl could only cum if/when he shoved his fist in her mouth. we met once for lunch and went into the porn booths and did it and i had to go back to work with wobbly knees and a pungent pussy. we also fucked on his desk too in his office and he smooshed my naked body against the window for the world to see on a saturday afternoon, this is all before we went to the adult store. he almost perished in a near-fatal motorcycle accident. shizer.
and now for your lunchtime break…
ok these are both pretty terrible.
aww what a little shitkid i was. still am. my brother was a complete asshole to me growing up and for no reason, no reason at all. perhaps that is why i am such a dick all the time. nah. him and i get along like peas and gravy now. he stopped by yesterday with his boss who looked really bad kuz he’s off the sauce and has crazy handshakes ‘n all. i remember i had crazy handshakes when i went cold turkey from weed and booze. you can’t even talk to people without stuttering unintelligibly and your whole body trembling like mad and your voice takes on the same shaky rhythym.
i remember standing at my kristi’s talking to rena and my arms started shaking and i was like i gotta go back to my house now i can’t go with you guys for coffee i’d just sit there looking at nothing thinking nothing and i’d get up every three seconds to walk away just to come back and do it again.
man when i was on lithium i was a mute. witty banter, gone. that’s why i wasn’t writing for a bit on my blooog other than i saw a movie and i liked it i watched survivor i like paradise hotel etcetera. but now i don’t take those crazy horse tranquilizer sized pills and i got most of my personality back.
