jack kerouac + steve allen

now that i am a million per cent certain that i am a loner at the top i have plenty of time for slaying guitar hero 2 i have progressed quite far in it in a very small amount of time and i am way better now, lise, look out.

met up with fil after the game and i sang who will save your soul and i nailed it and everyone was all THIS IS GOOD and YOU SOUND LIKE JEWEL little do they know that’s one of our go dad songs. we haven’t had practise in a long time, after the new year when shit settles i’m hoping we will.

before i sang, the karaoke guy made a zoloft joke, i dunno why i haven’t punched him yet prolly cos i think it’s sad he feels the need to zing me as part of his karaoke repertoire EVERYFUCKINGTIME dude i get it you want to fuck me now just be normal please.

hey remember my post about yul’s flat face and how i thought he was the guy from tokyo drift? well duh he won survivor it’s nice to see that intellect beats stupid and that’s funny coming from me, intellectual genius 2006.

phil: i miss u already

raymi: u owe me that ticket trade deal was not worth it sigh

phil: aw poor pretty princess

raymi: don’t forget to tell everyone how i have no friends

phil: i did don’t worry pxxo

Sabrina: without fail some asshole left me a shitty comment on that car accident post

me: send me link
to the post
i havent read it

Sabrina: here

me: omg that picture of u
how awful

Sabrina: i never really show it
i am not even sure why i put it up
i will avoid looking at my blog till i have 15 posts eat it away
so i will be posting like mad

me: where is the comment

Sabrina: it is by Ed
no link or email
comments here

me: there i left u a gay one

Sabrina: aww, thanks.

me: welcome

Sabrina: seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people

me: losers
they read blogs of people who do morally subject things so that they can judge them but really they wish they could be yer friend and know that you would reject them so theyre pre-rejecting you
im smart

Sabrina: hahaha. you are.
but you are fucking used to that shit

me: it still affects me
like winning these faggy blog awards have been pretty anti climactic
and then on top of that i am getting nasty comments
like fuck
people
just be normal

Sabrina: why would they be normal when they can have all sorts of shitty negative attention

me: i dont understand who wouldnt be embarrased by that kind of attention
like LOOK at you look at all yer online judgements and opinions just start a fucking book club and GO AWAY

Sabrina: hahahahhaa

me: and im not saying that to be haha or mean i mean it, they need an outlet other than going to people’s web journals and SAYING IT LIKE IT IS
quite sad

Sabrina: the way i see it, i blog ebcause i like to
and people enjoy it or they dont
which is fine
but if you are reading it and enjoying any part of it–then why the fuck bother me?
becuase as i see it you owe me for taking all my shit in

Sabrina: i am not saying i even have the best blog, or a great blog–all i am saying is respect the fact that it is something i am working on even if it fucking sucks. please just stop reading

me: yeah but then they get obsessed
and cant remember if they like u are hate you they are just obsessed
and cant stop
so the more u go on like nothing bothers you
they feel like they should be he-man and be able to control
or stop you

Sabrina: ugh. you’re right.
mostly though. i just ignore them, block them and they give up.

XMAS PRESENT
Yo Raymi
my ex bf has a mega crush on you
for part of my xmas present to him I would love it if u could email him to holler and throw some prraaaps. He’d probably blow his load.
his names Andy, his email is **************
If u could do this that would be rad!
Pce
Laura

hi andy
someone told me to merry xmas you so i am writing hello
it’s good timing cos i am in the middle of an emo moment right now and i have zero friends but yet i am ruler of the internet
sigh
ok i have friends but they are all too busy for me tonite
right now i am eating a single serving thai kitchen noodle soup thing
i only eat once a day
anyway it will likely not be enough base for all the booze i plan to drink tonite
fil is going to a leafs game i gave up my ticket a month ago to him in order to get him to stay out an extra hour with me
in hindsight it was not worth it cos he complained the whole time and buzzkilled me by pointing out the time every four minutes
so after my soup i will play guitar hero 2 then blowdry my hair and put on make-up fix myself a vodka coke play more guitar hero
then go buy some wine or go to a nothing bar and drunk text my friends
very glamorous

see ya
raymi lauren

me: yer family portrait is still my desktop

Sabrina: haha
that warms my heart
when we take the new one i will send it to you
my mom will have to take like 4 so that we all look human

me: haha
did we have the conversation yet where i accuse your sister of actually being your daughter?

Sabrina: no
we can have that because she is totally my MINI

me: ok well is she

Sabrina: nope

me: liar

Sabrina: hahaha

me: ok fine
but you are brainwashing her into being you

Sabrina: it is sort of cool to have her as my sister cause it makes me realize i actually like and want kids because she is super close to being mine
i totally am

me: and yer mom doesnt care?

Sabrina: we are all sort of fucking weird
we just give her the option of testing shit out to be who she wants to be
and when she is a shit–we put her back into line
we call her Jenny when she is fucking rotten and call that her alter ego
and she gets mad and then we make her read and she is like NOOOOO

me: hahahahhaa

Sabrina: so then we tell her we are going to write shitty stories about how she smells or something
so she tries to hurry up and write one about how we are disgusting or something
and she will be like HOW DO YOU SPELL VOMIT?

me: hahahha
do u tell her that u will write it on the internet
u guys are mean

Sabrina: then she will draw a picture that looks remarkably like a picasso and you are suppose to be insulted

me: im going to use that on my mom

Sabrina: hahaha

me: except it wont work

Sabrina: if i want to fuck my mom’s day up all i tell her is that she is being a bitch because she is jealous as hell that we all look like her 25 years ago
but i don’t do that anymore because i do not want her to hang herself
but i did he when i was like 15
because i am a shitty ass, manipulative person

me: woah
thats some reality for her

me: want to hear another crybaby story or should i save it for tomorrow

merkley???: lets hear

me: ok fils stepdad tod super cool guy welsh etc
his daughter goes to vancouver moves there 5 months ago or something
we havent seen her in a year
anyway im also wasted everytime we are at family dinner sundays
everyone is
on red wine
and lots of it
so he tells this story of how he goes to visit her
and as the boat is taking him over to vancouver island he gets up on the front of it titanic styles
and hanna sees him coming and busts up crying
omg im crying right now
anyway
i told that story to my friend lise a month ago and busted up crying like tears FLEW out of my eyes horizontally

merkley???: you love that story

me: and then last nite i told the story to tod about me telling his story to my friend and then i exploded into tears again

merkley???: wow
emo

me: and then fils sister and bf are like why is she crying they thought it was something serious
and so i explained why i was crying and then i STARTED CRYING AGAIN
like ugly cry
i think it was hangover booze emotions

merkley???: wow

me: anyway i am never ever ever telling that story ever fucking again

merkley???: yeah and you are looping too

me: it is the equivalent of oprah and starving children and aids and puppies

merkley???: the fact that you have cried before makes it more

me: makes it more sad?
i get way too involved in other peoples emotions

merkley???: no just easier to cry again

me: right
well it’s the mental imagery of the story and the bond between hanna and tod
oh god
im misting up
so fucking gay

merkley???: ha
i’m from a family of cryers
so it’s nothing new

me: well if i ever become an actress and i need to cry i can just think of that story

merkley???:exactly

me: i get embarrassed sometimes

merkley???: which compounds it

me: exactly

merkley???: i could make my sister cry just by mentioning that she cries easily

me: HAHAHAHA

i found a new hate raymi forum and this one is the most pathetic yet.

GWLH club.