ONE YEAR AGO TODAY:

last nite i dreamt i did the nasty with johnny knoxville and he somehow was a publicist for kurt cobain and then i was with lindsay lohann and my mum picked us up at my elementary school so we went to see a movie with my dad and my mum and dad were fighting in front of lindsay lohann and i said YOU GUYS DON’T YOU KNOW HER DAD IS IN JAIL!?

very awesome moment.

then lindsay said she would go out with me for halloween and i could be a celebrity and she would be a civillian and i was like WORD!

HOW TO HAVE A SHITTY BLOG

kenny hotz and i also chatted.

as promised if i won the canadian blog awards i would give away a free signed copy of marketable depression, i have just come up with an idea here it is:

you must come up with the best raymi parody post and do it in any manner you wish, photo, writing, crappy art, whatever, it has to be believeable and funny, ass-kissy, tongue-in-cheek, emo, slutty, endearing whatever etc. when you have published it leave the url to the post in my comments, you have until monday morning to complete this task.

also i said there would be a second and third place prize so second place prize is an opened justin timberlake futuresexlovesounds cd, i put it on itunes that’s why it’s opened. third place prize will be uh, some of my hair? we’ll see.

fil stayed home to play zelda get better i feel like we are in groundhog day. i stay up later than him to read myself tired while he loud breaths and sweats the entire universe all over the bed then he wakes up earlier to play zelda and recuperate while i sleep in to make up for all my lost sleep.

the stir-crazy has made me pick at my face like mad i am hideous. today i don’t care i am GOING OUTSIDE. i asked fil if the only cure for getting better is wearing a dumpy sweatshirt and unattractive housepants. the answer is yes.

if i get his flu before and up to leaving for nyc i will go bananas it’s bad enough i am pre-menstrual and zitfaced.

tarley drunk laughing

do you want to know a secret

who will save yer soul f up

food/porn

don’t forget to add some goat cheese to the pot. it’s amazing how healthy and human i feel now after eating fresh, self-prepped tomatoes.

also our neighbours have been watching tv extra loud lately AND fighting and they are like total fossils we just heard the dude yelling at the lady who is way older he said THIS IS MY HOUSE CLEAN UP YOUR FILTH it’s a miracle she can even walk let alone clean up ooh now there is crashing sounds this is making me sad that lady is so old she has scabs all over her legs and walks in slow-motion. that old guy is such a dick too he barely says hi when we see each other in the hall he’s such a crab why can’t we ever live near cool people is that too much to ask?

i just asked fil what if she dies and fil said WHAT IF I DIE?

um if you can die from being sucky, spoiled, and waited on hand and foot let me know cos i think i know how to save your life.

our friend’s grandma recently moved to an old age home and seems to be flourishing cos of it and it is nice to see anyway our friend told us a funny story about her. she called the house one nite around midnite or so and said she had her friend in the room with her and i guess they aren’t usually awake that late anyway she says that everyone had disappeared like the stand styles and they were spooked so her friend was going to sleep in her room that nite cos if she left they were afraid that she would disappear too. most likely all the nurses and assistants were gone and all the other residents were sleeping and this did not occur to them cos they are demented old coots.

this story gets an A+.

it’s so nice out i need to go out but i can’t go out cos i am allergic to fresh sunny air. sorry today’s posts are all emo. fil came home early. i finished reading running with scissors and i wrote to the author i asked is it possible to be published legitimately on a i trust this is good and will sell basis w/o having to polish anything? i mean it i already have the fanbase.

i am going to take a bath and hope the tub magically turns bottomless and i sink down to an alternate universe like narnia except more cool as in david hasselhoff/hot for teacher cool.

cid is a dick and has graduated to knocking my blythe doll off the shelf.

fil‘s being sick has brainwashed me into thinking that i too am sick i hate it. our diet the last few days has been garbage cos when you’re sick you think oh whatever i will eat anything and it will make me better. wrong.

my fucking liver is killing me too if someone leaves a comment saying i have pancreatitis or cancer i will destroy you.