even though fil had pints at lunch.

we couldn’t agree on a movie to see (rilah we will burn through that gift card yet don’t you worry) so we saw nothing, fil didn’t want to go down to paramount where we could have seen harold and kumar (why i don’t know)(ALSO i think we could have used my gift card at the bar there so there’s that covered) and i didn’t want to see iron man (yet guys, yet, don’t lecture me about this movie what’s premise looks no different than hulk or any other marvel movie but mostly hulk)(ps. i’m basically getting aunt flo today so you know what my delicate state is like) and fil doesn’t want to see any other movie at varsity even though it is my turn to choose the movie we see also hello it’s MY gift card, ungh. so we stayed in watched antm and rock of love and then i started feeling antsy and stir crazy and wanted to go out to do something and fil turned it into a big drinking metaphor and snapped at me for turning on my computer and the nite went to shit. we toyed over going out or just staying in the more i whined and felt like YOU DON’T GET WHAT I AM SAYING then finally said nah forget it lets just stay in as it was close to 11 by then. i’m so bitter over it i don’t even want to do anything tonite. then we watched tv and i read my stupid book and couldn’t fall asleep til 2 anyway.

i met with syd yesterday to give her the argyle sweater and i took her picture on this tree bench and some fat white bald guy walking by with pizza barks at me be careful it’s a tree (yeah i know idiot) like clearly it is a goddamn tree and don’t talk to me annex! what was i going to lift it up over my head and throw it into traffic?

if you need me i will be fuming on the couch.

MOM DON’T WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!!!

enjoy the mundane.

right now i’m uploading the gayest video ever (look up /\) where i am wrapping mother’s day gifts and i make ten million double chins in it (can’t help it i come from a long line of fat face talkers)(thank you kerouacs!) it shall be processed shortly. so i guess these dumb pictures of me are to make up for the fatness of the forthcoming video. MOM DON’T LOOK AT THIS POST OR WATCH THE VIDEO EITHER AND TOD DON’T SHOW IT TO ANDREA (FIL’S MOM)!

he hates the tinkling sounds, refuses to miss the unloading of the dishwasher for the world, despite them.

fil says these shorts give me moose knuckle ungh FUCK FIL! he tells me this in the parking lot of loblaws no less totally cock-blocking my game so i was self conscious walking around the supermarket all i needed cos i was dressed like a total whore already thanks. i also had a starvation headache and a bun head headache.

ian commissioned me a million years ago to paint him something and i am finally getting around to doing it. it must have the appearance of length and be a fuseli nightmare, somewhat. i’m going to flank each side of the canvas with raymi style roman pillars/columns? DON’T COPY MY IDEA! this canvas is 18×24 (7.99 from midoco! so cheap! i want to buy one the size of an entire wall! 47.99!)

we did this recipe for supper.

in lieu of wasabi paste and mayo we just bought horseradish mayo and it will blast your fucking head off.

cut up too much peppers didn’t bother slicing the other half of the yellow guy, we used arugula instead of watercress, tasty.

try to get the carrots as matchstick as possible cos if you load up too much mayo you will be stuck chewing forevs and your nose will start running from the hot.

blurry cos i was so excited, let the steak sit for ten minutes once you remove from heat and before you slice it up.

mayo plop, then arugula, then a carrot yellow and red pepper, try it that way first then add or remove whatever you fancy, it’s perfect the way it is though.

i hope you’re not starving right now.

i like prepping meals like this cos you get fuller quicker from waiting it out and you eat less, well until your wine munchies kick in and you go for round two.

i think i’m going to go off red meat for a month and see what that does to me and my heart and my waistline.

i would make these again, very easy and tasty.

my defective party socks and trying to nap away my hangover during a LOUD rehearsal, didn’t work all it did was make me cranky.

fookin’ starved i found some pizza pizza marinara sauce a tiny shovel and someone’s leftover soup crackers.

me: they took away the ab thing i use in the gym and the mats and little girl weights wtf more proof i am hated in this stupid fucking building
I HAD TO DO SIT UPS THE OLD FASHIONED WAY!

Phil’s new status message – Telethon – Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton 4:47 PM

me: and my hair is in a bun and it is hurting my head
oh and dont think i forgot to save the laundry for you to do when you get home i think ive done it 4 times in a row by now or something
i painted one of the big canvases
i am a machine
oh and i had spinach too
FINE I WILL TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE
you’ve been blogged
oh nice the fact that yer listening to emily haines was also captured
burn

++

who speaks spanish? tell me what they’re saying about me here, scroll to notorious b.l.o.g. third posting down.

aimoo and i spent the afternoon together yesterday (her birthday) we went for the sush then got some cider and played cooking mama it was a nice time. oh and i dyed my hair while she worked on cooking mama, she has the jones for that game big time now, anyone who plays it gets it bad.

what is up classy bitches?

favourite packaging ever!

haha total award for least false advertising in a product category cos yep this is exactly how douchey you will look when using one of these.

i forgot how pale black hair makes your complexion.

uh right mandy we get it, embrace your womYnhood. barf.

doods, how’s it hangin’?

i wanted a better pic with this car but fil had to pee, thanks fil!

homemade rush fan sweaty, $10, bought it in williamsburg.

dunno what size it is (no tag) but i’d guesstimate at a men’s small, women’s small/medium? with extra bulk to grow a belly in.

size 12 (dudes tellin ya i was chunkay, h&m, $5.

pretty much as small as it’s going to get, it hasn’t been washed too many times.

so if you have the love handles like i do then this dude is for you and just to avoid any and all raymi you still look fatisms here i am in the nakes + pre-menses bloat:

size small, $5.

FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

so your hero finally saw that worst piece of pretentious shit EVER movie JUNO last nite, w/ fil, we watched it late, til 1.41am and were pissed off the entire time, in fact the fire alarm went off due to flames from my bangs from rolling my eyes so fucking much GOD who was the first person to hype this film? it wasn’t even good! the acting and the overt witty (not even) dialogue matched terribly, like, diablo totally kevin smithed herself, how can everyone in this small white bread town speak exactly the same no matter age gender occupation you asshole. fil scoffed so many times i had to shush him like don’t make this harder on me THAN IT ALREADY IS! i was prepared to threaten the movie store dude to not bloody tell anyone that i rented this movie, i wasn’t even going to tell you dudes, but it cashed so hard i couldn’t keep it to myself. fil kept saying you know we are going to see it eventually, so i gave in to the hype. ugh i wish i hadn’t. if this movie is supposed to be witty and clever and fresh (fresh according to oprah)(i’ve seen fresher dog turds) then i’m not an unemployed blogger. weak weak weak, every dick who told me this is a good movie you are in the bad books, don’t think i’ve forgotten who you are and now thanks to this film ellen page is going to be in every other clever movie that i’ll have to chug wine through just to deal, oh yeah i do that anyway but you know i’ll have to like, drink even more. and don’t you dare for a second tell me that i didn’t “get it” or that the “funny” went over my head cos i’m pretty sure i’m ten times wittier and hella more sass-mouthed than the likes of any of you are i mean really, who’s blog are we at right now? if i could throw this dvd into the sun i WOULD and would fully welcome the replacement fee.

when i remember more things i hated about this movie i’ll let you know.

oh yeah, the glamorization of teen pregnancy was pretty solid too, kudos and how uncomfortable was it trying to watch them talk about music ungh so phony.

this is what i think of juno: