i am not kidding there is like an entire day camp in the park right now of little kids and they’re singing that lets fly a kite song, and the ringleader of the pack is this clearly gay little boy out-singing everyone and he’s also wearing a brown old man hat and he has that show-tuney sing song voice, like annie, holy shit SHUT UP this is the worst possible noise for my ears and brain right now, they sang themselves all the way to the park and then he was totally egged on, it’s bananas! OMG and now he’s singing oliver twist jams fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. he keeps saying ok now lets sing this, we have to sing this next! god no wonder his parents sent him to camp. he’s waving his arms and kicking and everything. and now he’s singing this and i am going to close the doors and windows and put the a/c on. some girls are singing a different song at the same time. oh goodness!

hat kid is wearing.

more importantly here is a picture of me waiting for my pink dress to arrive

wow i need to figure out a new method to deal with being wickedly shy and neurotic other than guzzling vodka. i was the first to sing and i was disappointed the whole way through i thought i blew and as i jumped off the stage might even have started crying a little from nerves i know, how endearing pathetic is your hero! i signed up again for a song and someone either scratched it out or i was so bad they skipped me, i told sass to go flirt with the band or use her witchcraft charm to bump me up the list (it was getting late, coach was turning into a pumpkin bla blah) and it did not work. anyway, my first time at this place all the kids have been raving about, pretty decent. we had a reserved section high up with a nice view of the stage, compliments of sony/EMI. (thanks dudes!) i think the best part of the nite was when brosz7kowski was singled out and blamed for ordering the third heineken keg and i had to rescue him, i could see he was getting a bit agitated, i guess it was all sorted out in the end. i know for a fact i didn’t order that third keg. i know i drank it though.

fuck, my head.

on top of feeling like total dick right now, i look like it too, i have four chin zits that i have touched and played with all nite long and this morning so now they’re full tilt disgusting-looking. my eyes are probably bloodshot too.

no more shots is my new slogan.

guy singing was really good, he paid for my last beer cos i was like I AM AN IMPORTANT BLOGGER I WILL MAKE YOU EXTREMELY FAMOUS. ha.

and by popular request, retard poses you can’t get enough of

oh look, a poll!

mg‘s in town, we hung for a bit this afternoon and had coffee. here are some photos, mostly of me though, OF COURSE!

i commented on how lovely the ashtray matt was using was, he said it’s not an ashtray, it’s a fruit dish. ok, that’s a lovely fruit dish.

i never understood the thing about neve.

went to puma, dude got himself some new kicks just like that.

second from the top, far right.

then we went to tiffany’s so he could learn how to set the date on his watch, then i came home and had the best crap ever.

jamie printed out a pic he took of me when he and deb visited us last summer.

we watched funny games last nite, it’s good and scary and will make you very stressed, it’s kind of clockwork orangey in a sense. anyway, tim roth stars in it, i say oh yeah that’s the dude in dawn of the dead, fil says no, i say yes, then a bet is placed for 20 bones. basically, the guy in dawn of the dead (jake weber) has no business LOOKING EXACTLY LIKE TIM ROTH and vice versa, GEEZ!

try and tell who is who in the following pictures:

what the fuck right?!

the first one is tim, then jake, tim, jake, tim, jake.

this post got me out of doling over twenty bucks, WORLD I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT PHIL IS RIGHT AND I AM WRONG.

+++

oh hey and now lets talk about HOW SKINNY I AM AGAIN RIGHT NOW it’s been like 24 hours at least. i tried on this dress last week and went against my disease of having to walk out with at least something every time i walk into an h&m, thought about it some, then forgot about it until i saw this picture on sass‘s blog, and then immediately wanted it again:

anyway, it’s sass’s fault for blogging this picture, it was only 16 bucks anyway, she picked it up for me yesterday and oh right the skinny moral of this bit is i am wearing that dress over an entire outfit and it’s a size 6.

MEEEEEEEEE

by fil, cos i said ferrets were rodents.

guess how many lectures i receive daily and win a prize!

hey raymi

i talk a lot.

a necessary procedure.

hospital party

me: well thanks for taking it out on me in your dream

THE WORST SALAD I HAVE EVER ORDERED IN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE FROM CHAP’S.

told two nice little lesbos from saskatchewan that they were rug munchers, right?

last nite was very pretty woman all around. they bought their dresses specifically for the occasion too.

YOU HAVE BEEN VIRTUALLY IGNORED

mg performing keira anne for fil and i, check the youtube comments, they are something else.

guide to insecurity.

postsecret burn post.

we hung with travis.

i am a golden god you are not.

i never even wear those pants sigh and the zipper broke double sigh.

a whore like you

THE REASON SHE WON’T ANSWER MY QUESTION IS SHE IS A SPOILED SNOT NOSED TRUST FUND BRAT WHO LIVES OFF HER MAN’S MONEY AND IN EXCHANGE SUCKS HIS DICK AND LIVES HAPPILY EVERY AFTER BECAUSE SHE IS A CUM GUZZLING HOOKER. BUT AT LEAST SHE IS GETTING PAID TO DO IT.
THAT IS ALL.

socks! shoes! thighs! stool! floor! hair wisp! someone call OCAD now!

be careful or i will punch you into outerspace.

fil was a TOTAL nacho hog.

heinous take that piece of shit off right now!

i love you arteries here is a present.

well at least he is sort of smiling.

k that’s enough, and those were the good ones.

friday we had dinner with gill, this is a rock ‘n roll, not bad.

thursday’s jerk chicken mmmmmmmmmm.

what i was wearing that i guess made that PLAN dude chase me down the street, ugh. i feel a bit too bouncy in this shirt, plus you can totally see my nips, not that i care, just in the annex, there are only so many disapproving glares from raisin-faced wasps i can take before i have a total george costanza meltdown.