CON

i was just drinking some coke out of the bottle and the cap fell out of my hand and bounced off my second from the left little toe on my left foot and it actually fucking hurt. yes that’s right, a little plastic cap.

PRO

i was also attempting to swallow a vitamin D (cancer fighting power!) pill at the time (hence the coke chugging) and the pain startled me into swallowing the pill effortlessly in lieu of pill swallowing limbo i am typically stuck in where i stand there with my arms out trying to grasp at invisible tables (? i know) and the ratio of saliva to liquid in my mouth to direction of the sun and silence in the room etc must be just so before i have the courage to gulp it all down.

i over think shit, basically.

hello iamneurotic.com much?

i had issues learning to swallow pills as a kid. true embarrassing story. there is nothing more disgusting than a tablespoon of OJ and some mystery white powder mixture floating around in your mouth.

get ready for ten minutes of stupidity!

please don’t make fun of all the dumb things i say.

hi there i love your cooking videos you 2 come across well on camera..i work for the cooking department for the bbc here in england and we have a show coming up and would love to put your video in it..the show will be based on poultry could you do a video on how you cook and carve a turkey please let me know if you can do it thanks *******

i have never cooked a turkey before in my life, this is nuts.

ahhahahahaha

this guy is serious.

WELL SORRY I’M NOT LIKE FIVE HUNDRED YEARS OLD.

spoken by probably the dumbest chick i have ever seen.

then later she says well sorry i’m not 80 years old.

yeah yeah you’ve already seen season 2, canada gets your recycled garbage a ways after, it doesn’t make it any less valuable though. rock of love is probably my favourite show in the universe, aside from king of queens, hope & faith, full house and i forget the rest. i watch a lot of bad television, sorry guys. if it’s bad for you, then it’s good for me.

thanks to king of queens, fil and i have an irritating repeat what the other person says in a stupid voice game we play. ex: i am going to the bathroom (i say) you’re going to the bathroom (fil says at me). i know! (i say) you know! (fil says) on and on until i explode.

in other news i look like a fucking muppet.

i am uploading a ten minute video right now PLEASE WORK!

oh just this guy dragging our bikes the weekend we were away, no biggie, just trying to steal them is all. i have loads more up close of his face. there’s more to the story that i cannot share here unfortunately cos it is supes juicy! anyway, burn on that guy and thank god one of those bikes was busted at the time, he couldn’t twist fil’s lock apart so he dumped them with the rest of the bikes, idiot move you lazy thief, couldn’t put them back where they came from, had you done that we wouldn’t have known you ever came. how’s jail?

we dropped in on the new sobeys that opened yesterday SO PUMPED ABOUT IT!

me and jen have the same obscure japanese doll!

hers (on the left):

mine:

the sombrero accessory i got in mexico, didn’t come with her.

and now obviously it’s time to vote!

they have the same face i meant to say hair
oh well

and then all was not good in the hood. i think it was because i hadn’t eaten all day and no i’m not starving myself, just no energy to go out and eat and i’m fookin’ stressed so no appetite then you have yourself a mountain of loaded nachos and voila, sicktown. i did’nae barf though. i thought it might have been food poisoning but fil kept on truckin’ through so it wasn’t that and it wasn’t booze cos i barely had a little glass of white. anyway my nacho video is processing right now for shedoesthecity which i think is funny, here put this on your site but don’t tell them i was almost violently ill afterward! i think someone said once that if you don’t eat carbs for awhile and then you do, your stomach is not havin’ it. i now apply that theory to everything. i’ma try and make a red thai soup video tonite to make up for this.

what else what else, oh yeah we watched hell’s kitchen while eating our mountain of gold, and holy shit that show stresses me oot! who is scarier, chef ramsay or the guy who trained chef ramsay and made him cry? (what’s his name?) also, i am super happy the homophobic sexist drunk old man piece of shit was asked to leave for constantly antagonizing the gay guy, calling him a shirt lifter? what the fuck is that, and on tv! idiot! he had been pissing me off from day one, typical cliche old white guy who likes to sit around talking about the good ole politically incorrect days and after a glass of wine is an abusive monster, going on and on about not liking being told he CANNOT say certain things, which brings to mind an awkward situation that happened recently that i can’t really blog about. point being, the world has changed and now the onus is on you to adapt to it and not for the world to adapt to your dusty old-timey notions. it is NOT ok to be a piece of shit in a room full of white people and be secretly racist or display your catalogue of various terms for poofter when a homosexual is present and say it in a way that they are forced to bend and be polite about it, you manipulative twat.

ps. can you tell it’s getting chillier? can you feel it in your bones like i can?

NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

time for some new jeans

sunglasses problem

what’s that?

oh, just some sunbeam cut-eye, is all.

it’s only tuesday?

obvious EMO cupcake. not sure i should have fucked with it. needs another coat.