Baby I’ve been here before I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor

try feeling hungover out of your mind and this close to going in your pants (sorry i know that’s all i talk about) and eating this, what the fuck was i thinking?

meanwhile across the table you are looking at your friend eat this and proclaim every few seconds OH MAN is this ever good!

cid and i are cool now.

so i wasn’t even going to go out last nite then fil informed that we could get free chucks at the mod club show party, right, that’s IF WE HAD RSVP’d for it! what’s the point of all access if you can’t access the all? luckily brad showed up and worked his little brad magic and got us wrist bands, no chucks though, it’s ok i already have a pair. they were customizing them with a spray gun, white hi-tops with your name in fluorescent, so cute. anyway.

i went to mini alone to eat at the bar while fil went ahead to the mod club, i was sitting there chatting up the girl polishing cutlery wearing one of my tickle trunk outfits (denim vest, black t-shirt, short shorts, black knee socks and aladdin shoes) thinking oh great now she thinks i’m hitting on her when out of nowhere she’s like no offense, this might sound wrong but i could NEVER go out and eat alone and she’s heard through her friends that it’s quite enjoyable to which i said no it isn’t really cos the whole time you have to pose like you are cool with being alone and you are hyper-focused on everything around you and you feel extremely neurotic. then she said she’s gone to movies alone and i said oh i could never do that, pointing at my food see, i gotta eat, i don’t have to see a movie and plus everyone knows you’re alone when you go into a movie alone and it’s sad. i was going to give her my card and say i am going to blog about this conversation but i already felt self conscious from my lesbian outfit and being singled out for eating alone at the bar so i didn’t. i also made her feel bad by saying yeah and thanks for pointing out that i don’t have any friends, as a joke, then i got a text at that exact moment and said when you eat alone you have to text everyone you know to inform them that you are eating alone. comedy gold i am. that salad is awesome by the way, mango basil shrimp, i also had a tsingtao and laotian rolls, when i feel like shit if i just keep eating to pass the time i feel better.

oh and of course when i was walking over to the mod club some ugly wench try hard walking her bike with a dude who was checking me out says THAT SO DOES NOT EVEN LOOK GOOD talking about my outfit! i was crossing an intersection so i couldn’t turn back and scream CUUUUUUUUUNT at her ugly face. jesus that got me steamed like to the point of violence. i’m sick of this fucking city and all the aged bitter hipsters in it.

then sloan, i had a handful of drink tickets, gave them to tiff, everyone kept encouraging me to drink through it, no way not possible.

i looked at fil and said i have to leave NOW he’s like are you ok, yeah no i’m not i mean i just don’t feel well and then he goes yeah but are you ok, mentally? haha. which made me start crying so i got in a cab and cried in the backseat a bit, overtired overwhelmed and stressed, what a day. and the cabbie was yelling into the phone at someone at dundas square then asks me about nxne and my badge and i think it’s a ploy for me to hold it up so he can see my short shorts better, then i remember he saw me crying in the mirror, he asked me if i was ok before he dropped me off like all of a sudden he’s my therapist. i thought it was sweet. he said i was smart because i had a badge, i guess thinking i’m some big cog over at the music dept. he kept asking me who pays all the bands i’m like um the venue does? he was really impressed that i had a badge and said with a wave of his arm that i could go anywhere. yes anywhere i wanted, and i said yeah but i don’t want to my body can’t take it, he was confused by that.

then i ordered mama’s boy and had another eno fil came home after 1, i had to take a sleeping pill he was making lots of noise. i have no idea how everyone else is able to deal with this festival, gill hasn’t gone to bed before 5am so far, staying up partying with bands at the hotel, and up working the next day only to do it again tonite and then tomorrow. madness.