i SWEAR i thought i cleaned that mirror not too long ago.

so the ours show last week inspired me to up my fucking asshole a bit and write some sort of guide to insecurity, so here we go kids, flying by the seat of my pants here, feel free to offer up some ideas yourselves in the comments, don’t pretend that you have lives cos i know you don’t!

i am going to base it principally on chicks who go to concerts alone, so give me a break here, i can’t write about the entire world, yet.

SHOES – they have to be big fat skate dunks, vans usually, or etnies if you’re feeling outside the box. your shoes are little messages to boys that you are a-ok to stand beside cos you got the same footclothes on and phew cos girls are scary don’t talk to them they will bite you and say mean shit about you to their supermodel friends.

POSTURE – you have to walk like an old man and make your spine curve over and you tiptoe around and if you are in anyone’s way whisper sorry and look down at the ground and let people by you and be as invisible as possible if i can see you for more than half a second from my peripheral vision a monster will come and tear apart all of your journals RUN you are a shadow.

HAIR – pulled back into a ponytail bun, mousey-looking, fly-away frizz everywhere, this helps accentuate the tight black choker necklace you wear religiously. oh and you wear glasses too.

ok i am getting bored of this, basically you are kinda cute but pretty fucked up and unawares of that, you’re unassuming and you wear big pants for some reason like you just left velvet underground, you’re shy and awkward and something really traumatic happened to you once that i don’t care about cos you can’t bring yourself to care about yourself, you have zero self-esteem i am going to hell.

oh you carry a big bag too that has a really long strap and it hangs around your knees and there are lots of things in your bag that you don’t need but might need.