last nite i got poor sleep one because i was excited about my camera and two because of the cracking ice all over the balcony last nite it was like -18 something terrible like that and every two minutes this loud bang sound would happen it sounded like a murderer trying to come in and take my camera. fil went out in his underwear to secure the chairs out there we thought it was the chairs duh but then finally at five in the morning i asked uncle phil what the FUCK!? and he said it was the ice cracking and the cement shrinking but i think the ice got between the wood on top of the cement and it was the wood planks making that noise it was very scary it seriously sounded like someone was trying to get in even cid was scared.

and yesterday i was in the bath reading a scary book what lise leant me called the road and the buzzer rang and i sat very still until the person outside went away why do you need to buzz me to give me the condo newsletter stick it in the door as usual i didn’t hear them buzz any other units what the fuck anyway i am scared from this book still and thinking the book is after me then a half hour later my phone rang (it was fil) during a very scary part and i almost had a heart attack i am a wuss.

i really like the book but i can’t read it when it is dark and fil is asleep cos then i hear noises and the room settling which means i am going to die.

one time i was home alone in my room as a teenager reading an r.l. stine book in my bed it was so scary i couldn’t stop reading it though and i don’t think i even blinked when i finished it i just sat there in bed with the lamp on staring at the door and the hallway through it and stress-ate a bowl of regular humpty dumpty’s and waited for death to take me but then i ran out of chips and had to go downstairs in the dark to get more because eating chips can save your life. i hate that feeling when you turn off the light and are going up the stairs it is like someone is there behind you about to grab your ankle or your neck. i always turn off the light and am like feh this is fine i am fine but once that light is off i turn into a chicken and launch myself up the stairs three at a time.

after watching single white female with my brother and mom my brother was behind downstairs getting a snack before bed and he took this antique wooden ruler to defend himself ahhahaha. my brother is two years older than i am lets figure out how old he was when this happened, we likely rented it right when it came out on VHS he was born in 1981. oh i checked he was about twelve.

Jamie: your hair looks really nice
i saw an old pic you posted
and thought it was new — i thought you dyed your hair light again

me: yes
and i am going to be a skeleton and i am going to twirl around in a white cotton pixie dress in a forest near a shire and my hands are going to be above my head and i will have flowers in my hair just saying
dont copy me