Alex: I know you probably won’t answer but what do you do on an average day? I’ve been reading your blog and it highlights certain events out of your day funny events
but they’re so foregrounded that there is like 0.5% of the day written about in great detail and no idea at all about the rest I’m not criticizing your writing I’m curious

me: well i expose a lot and i keep a lot private
i reserve the right to do that

Alex: yeah thats cool I dig that I was just curious do you work? like boring drone style employment or. ….?

me: i work from home i write

Alex: ah cool I thought that might be the case do you write anything other than blogs and myspace?

me: i dont write on myspace i paint i sell art when im not blogging im reading having a bath sleeping watching tv hanging with fil or drinking or doing research i am working on two other books right now

Alex: cool so you’re a professional artist then

me: one could say that

Alex: cool actually I shouldn’t use that word I’m punctuating sentences with it I think there is an interesting tension between what you say and don’t say on your blog
you go to sometimes disgusting detail about little things ie. the wet fart in the dream and then the next entry is like days later although that was not a specific example just then my bad anyway I gotta go to work

me: that wet fart was a dream someone had about me and my bf i did not write that

Alex: really? it read like something you would write

me: yeah not me
sorry

Alex: ok so it was a bad example
but do you know what I mean anyway?
or am I just dribbling shit?

me: i think i do

Alex: I think maybe thats the appeal

me: u mean the silences are more than silences?
whats the appeal

Alex: well

me: because there seem to be quite a few who think my blog is not appealing at all
or are they lying to themselves

Alex: lol well ok let me rephrase that I find it appealing and this is why the little moments (angry, happy, annoying, whatever) are massively foregrounded the fucked up toe and chilli peppers for example things I (cos I can’t speak generally any more) can relate to you don’t really have personal specific information although it reads like thats all it is I dunno I think I’m trying to express something my brain is not capable of doing

me: so it’s personal and yet not at all at the same time you mean

Alex: yeah

me: and thats a draw?

Alex: well it means that when I’m reading it I feel like I’m getting to know you but then I think about it and using the previous example

me: right

Alex: a) everyone likes or dislikes certain bands and gets emotional about it
b) everyone (at some point) gets a fucked toe and gets emotional about it
I guess its your style of writing that makes it seem more personal
question : if no-one likes your blog

me: it’s tricky manipulation thats actually not at all tricky, it’s concise

Alex: how do you make any money?

me: well tons of people love it im just focusing on the ones who claim not to cos im pessimistic

Alex: ah have you noticed that your old blogs the ones I read ages ago had much more of the outside world in them?

me: how so

Alex: well ok this is gonna sound vague cos it was 5 years ago but

me: you mean ive become more withdrawn

Alex: like I remember a hardware store? well I don’t want to use words like withdrawn
cos for all I know

me: yeah i worked in one from the age of 15 off and on for 5 years

Alex: the 99.5% you don’t write about you’re running around mental

me: well i am more withdrawn now i try and picture myself out working with other people and it’s hard, ive become neurotic i spend a lot of time in my head

Alex: you have always been neurotic I can tell well from the blog anyway

me: yes well moreso now i guess but more of a laidback
i think ive become more shy

Alex: yeah I can tell that too you’re very wary of the world its like you’re looking out a window unsure of whats going on

me: ive lost some self esteem along the way also

Alex: all of a sudden this is like dr phil

me: people are very mean and critical of me, when theyre nice theyre quite nice when theyre nasty it’s like what the hell i dont judge you no im sure of whats going on maybe too sure im always analyzing everything

Alex: but its from more of a distance now

me: ya well i did a lot of seedy shit and a lot of bad things happened in my past so what can i say i have a lot of anger still

Alex: “an artist creates their own moral universe”

me: right

Alex: well I just mean (actually, someone said that in a movie I watched the other night)

me: ha

Alex: bad seedy shit don’t matter hang on wtf who am I? don’t listen to me

me: i listen to people too much i let them get to me im too sensitive