we watched texas chainsaw massacre the beginning last nite and it is stupid because fil did NOT rent employee of the month, it is, in fact, the complete opposite of employee of the month, if you’ve seen EOM don’t tell me anything about it i want to see it tonite.

anyway, everyone who dies deserves it because they didn’t have the smarts to know uh DANGER fake sheriff, condemned town, one of the dudes was in ‘nam even you’d think he’d be able to do something other than get nailed to a table have his arms cut open from elbow to wrist and then take a chainsaw through his stomache, no? vietnam doesn’t prep you for that kind of thing? the one stupid girl does all the running around and hiding and instead of RUNNING AWAY TO FIND HELP she gets a biker dude to go back with her to the house cos his girl was shot and dragged there also, this is his only motivation, his girlfriend, i know this, YOU know this WHY DOESN’T THE GIRL WHO FLAGGED HIM DOWN IN THE ROAD KNOW THIS!? so big duh he gets cut up too, big help, thanks. another thing she walks through this little forest area to go get help earlier on in the movie and then she leads the biker dude through it again to get to the house and somehow it takes ten times longer the second time around and it is nitetime by the time they make it to the house? holy consistency!

and then later on at the dinner table she is chained to her seat and she accuses the family of incest or something like it’s her big shining fuck you moment GOOD IDEA TELL THE HUMAN-EATERS THAT THEY ARE INDECENT TELL IT TIL THE COWS COME HOME IT’S REALLY GOING TO SAVE YOU NOW.

this movie is ten times gorier than the one with ass shelf in it. haha i just went to google jessica biel but i typed ASS SHELF instead, ok, so it’s gorier and has the exact same vibe as the other one so if that’s what you want then see it.

they show how that dude got his legs cut off, you know the wheelchair perv, him. fil said he would have bled to death on the spot, you can’t just wrap his knees in paper and bob’s your uncle, you know? fil is smart i had NO IDEA you couldn’t just dress a wound in paper and it stops bleeding thank you fil!