i went to my cousin’s smelting party (you get a bunch of nets and catch smelts when they are “running”) at ozone creek here is what happened — the party gets all end of dazed and confused and people take to their tents and campers so we have to go home but home is far and we were staying at this camp at gravel river about 10 miles away so we’re on our way back and we got the least drunk one to drive who was also the MOST stoned and we are in this giant hippie van that is from 1969 and seats 19 but there are only 10 of us, my cousin’s friend swany is simulating a blowjob on a smelt, the only smelt of the night that was caught, and he stole it from the guy who was so happy to have it and my cousin was very strung out on coke so he punched him in the head and THAT’S when we hear the driver go

what the fuck is a horse doing on the middle of the road in northwestern ontario

he has time to say all that and then BAM we pegged off a moose and i looked behind us and the moose was still standing! it was like in dazed when they throw the bowling ball through the window then we all laugh and pass out at gravel river the end oh we found some fur in the side of the van on the window pane

that is the end of my story