i had a tough time sleeping last nite. i started fantasizing about being really skinny and this one girl i know at a dinner party was giving me major attitude over my new hot body and then there were ten different things she did to me, i mean, ten versions of this story played out in my mind, first she throws wine at my white tank top and fil is blocking me in at the table so i can’t storm off or hit her and i said MOVE RIGHT NOW I PROMISE I WON’T HIT HER so he moves and as i pass her i point in her face and i say YOU WILL REGRET THAT! then i go to the bar and play megatouch.

in the other version she chases me to the door and hits me over the back of the head with something and i fall, get up, and punch her in the face. then i go to the bar and play megatouch.

in the other version she spits in my face and i slam her head down on the table. then i go to the bar and play megatouch.

in another version she spits in my face, calls me ugly and i slap her, on my way out the door i exclaim to the other guests tell fil i’ll be at the bar playing megatouch. the guests realise that i am extremely cool so they leave the dinner party and follow me to the bar to watch me play megatouch.

i totally got myself worked up over thinking about all of this.

in other versions i say a long speech full of zingers to her in front of everyone and they’re all shocked but take my side anyway.

fil farted on my head two nites ago.