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hey dad look at me now!

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today’s raymi activity features two willing participants ready to give my cooking skills a review. the tables have turned. tarek and april. batter’s up.

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taking their orders. now, april is a genuine BOOM expert and fan, she’s there all the time, is a mayor of the college street location i believe? so i was not going to get away with blowing this.

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James even popped in to give me some grief over missing today’s and monday’s sessions. that’s his job to make me feel guilt, well it works but no need after this weekend in the south and all that food and not working out, man, guilt big time.

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i dressed like my grade 3 teacher ms. smith she always wore painted on skirts weird tights and high boots all winter long.

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ok so here is my retarded order on a napkin, i forgot to ask tarek how he wanted his eggs. well i thought i did as he said well done which in eggs world means flip it over and over, almost fried? over hard is the technical term. woah relax there eggs. EGGZACTLY. you know what else is fried other than tarek’s eggs? my brain right now.

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but first their coffees. i said they must have americanos, not pot coffee here no way. tarek challenged me further by ordering a cappuccino. fine.

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i was a little intimated and nervous here but i got the swing of it.

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it’s a lovely machine too if we had one in adventurehouse i’d be climbing the walls all day long drinking coffee non-stop. it’s so easy.

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tarek’s cappuccino. i did well. i pat myself on the back. no one else will.

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do you get to make a design? i asked jeffrey. um yeah sure he says. not really though you just pour the warm milk in then glob the foam high on top and sprinkle chocolate powder or cinnamon. ok what drinks do they make the design for you then? ahh who cares.

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see how fun i am to work with. pure bliss, joy even.

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oh no no, two huge saucers will not do for this tray i am about to walk over. so i got a tinier espresso one for april’s americano. (they’ll never know).

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and i’m off. i was a bit shaky. hadn’t eaten. winner.

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it was easier to carry than it was to place all that crap down on the table elegantly i wobbled like crazy and then was like you know what guys here and just slammed it all down one by one dramatically. breakfast and a show. took the cup independently off the tiny (inadequate) saucer (who’s idiotic idea was that anyway jeffrey!? ha mine.) while april and tarek just howled with laughter and off i marched back to make their food.

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right after i went back to retrieve their menus. server faux paus. two strikes now hahaha.

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making my own coffee.

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time to get cracking with dan.

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tarek’s pancake. he ordered the threesome. of course he would (slut).

THREESOME 9.69
two eggs, pancake, your choice of strip bacon,
ham or Canadian sausage, with toast and
fresh fruit garnish

ps. don’t forget the raymi discount you get for all the cheapskates out there thinking boom is sooooo expensive (really? please) go this weekend for brunch and get your hst covered.

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needs more batter. i’m not wearing a hat because i’m just cooking for my friends. if was legitimately cooking for real customers i’d have to wear a hairnet or a hat. whatever my hair is pristine and clean enough to eat.

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i was getting a little anal. i wanted to make it bigger. big enough dan said.

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three strikes i f’d up a yolk. got it right the second time. gun shy.

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pervtographer.

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it was a lot of fun in there. i could do it on a regular basis if dan was riding my ass telling me what to do the whole time. though it was really hot.

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are you friggin serious this is a v-EGG-y burger? april’s order.

V-EGG-Y STYLE BURGER 8.29

made to order egg patty with sweet potato,
asparagus and Parmesan cheese, garni shed
with caramelized onions and roasted red
pepper, served on an English muffin

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alright then off i go chopping up sweet potato and asparagus.

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i missed cooking.

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if i wasn’t under the gun i’d have diced that finer, maybe added another sweet potato and red pepper.

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raymi’s cooking show. raymi’s kitchen. aunt raymi’s kitchen. which sounds best?

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stop spying dan.

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checking in on the pancake.

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flip it good.

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oh look a happy wife so happy to just be cooking in an apron your loyal devoted kitchen goddess slave. pfft right where is my throne? i am dying to eat that pancake right now.

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time to flip the eggs. i got scared. i’m very dramatic and high strung. nervous. writing this draft is a good airplane distraction i have mega travel anxiety.

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AHH CAN’T TAKE THE HEAT GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN.

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piece’a cake what were you scared of dan?

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flip toss ta-da.

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plating the threesome. all the fun. time to get abstract. more so retarded. dan looked at it and was like yeah, that is pretty retarded.

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don’t be jealous of my creation.

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i think this is when dan fell in love with me.

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i bet he wanted the moment to last forever.

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HAHAHAhHAHAHAhaha mmmmmm ORDER UP.

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here i come.

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look tarek i made yours retarded. oh good i LOVE retarded he says. aww they were so nice and such good sports and ate every bite too!

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i seasoned arpril’s sweet potato fries more than dan would have because I KNOW FOOD TOO and i always liked watching the fries get seasoned at central. it is an art.

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just making sure one more time for you they’re good. it was very important. i have standards you know.

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he’ll live.

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look at the generous portion of sweet pot.

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scared?

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i guess i looked super ugly in all the making of the vEGG burger photos as they’re MIA but i assure you i made this and april said it was on par with how it always tastes. she orders it frequently.

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time to make a waffle for the camera guy. my favourite part.

CHORIZO WAFFLE 9.49
fluy scrambled eggs, sizzling chorizo

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it’s all about strategy.

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scoring the chorizo i said hey look dan here’s a technique you dunno look what i taught YOU he’s all yeah yaeh sure totally culinary school, bah right raymi.

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wiener humour.

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drinking on the job.

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plating.

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time to get lewd.

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it fell.

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i will dismantle you with my comedy.

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now what time to make my lunch.

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spreading guac. i ordered the nice white tuna. when dan saw the chit he was like of course this is yours i see what you order at boom. he asked me if i liked guac. sure i do why don’t you? i like to get in fights with people over things they refuse to eat pursely for stupid reasons, stubbornness mainly. i like to get to the heart of the issue. were you traumatized by an avocado once?

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why the hell would i want another piece of lettuce on my sandwich? zero nutritional value and it gets in the way. dan agreed, about as healthy as sawdust.

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i am ravenous right now.

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threw in some cucumber.

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slam it all down.

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i am a master chef.

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here i come woah didn’t know rob was here.

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ta-daaaaaaaa.

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i am going to maul you.

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quittin’ time.

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see how people are just drawn to me like that?

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it’s cos i’m a shiksa. that’s right it’s j-time. dan’s a big one.

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prob makin’ a seinfeld reference. my favourite.

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why no art work? oh you like it simple. fine. no raymi art for you.

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i put my apron around dan’s neck and said I QUIT. he forgot about it haha.

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love the floors. same in every location.

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i haz a christmas bonheur.

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cute egg. one is just enough.

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april demonstrates what it’s like dating someone shorter than you or JUST your height.

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posing in pics together. the lean and the back arch. what women do for men.

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the broken doll haha.

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she grazes tarek and he recoils. he cheers for the other team.

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learned a new disgusting term for us. fish tank. ew. EWWWWW. love it. using it.

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thanks for dining in raymi’s kitchen i mean, boom.

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tarek’s murse looks good on me.

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back to reality and the next thing i have to do.

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please god take me now just launch a lightning bolt at me i’m ready.

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just kidding i’m too valuable to too many people to be taken out just yet.

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look it’s the raymi D list POS, not just a button, an ENTIRE SCREEN! awesome. ps. everyone in my circle we are going to plan a boom holiday bender before christmas at the college street location. i’ll make an fb event for it. don’t forget when you’re out eating your regular brunch every day of the week you can get your raymi discount at any boom location. the food is delicious. the atmosphere is cozy. the service, friendly and charming. maybe you’ll get a raymi sighting out of it too.

i’m back from NOLA hi toronto!