DISTILLED

i haven’t partied once in the distillery all summer. sad face. never fear though as there’s going to be a HUGE PARTY next weekend all up in that scene. maybe i’ll tool around in a segway like the geek i really am (not). THERE WILL BE oops caps, there will be bands and there will be a lexus or two i’m sure and there’ll be hipsters and other people you will pretend to not notice as is typical in this wonderful fucking city. check here for the band performance line-up. just when you thought live music was over for the summer, newp, not done just yet. i receive a gauntlet of dear raymi what should we do this weekend emails we’re from out of town blah bla etc etc. so look, there you go. get crushfucked in the beautiful naybe of the distillery district, have a nice dinner, break your ankle on some cobblestones and get laced at another chi chi event where i’m certain there’ll be a photo op backdrop and party photographers sliming their way through the crowd to take your photo so you better bring it (style). my esteemed party cohorts NotableTv are organizing this shin-dig which is like the oprah’s book club party stamp of approval, you’re in a for a good time. The last thing notable threw that i went to i came out of with a two day hangover. fuckin’ right ripped there terry.

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look i got new snotty girl shoes.

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and i’m buddy holly AND a doctor.

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guess which one i bought.

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look it’s my ass.

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look i’m in missisSUCKa

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look i am fake-walking for a photo. i bought these jeans from goodwill specifically to cut them into shorts. so weird buying something knowing you will be taking it home to alter it, feels like a waste of money cos what if it doesn’t work out? leap of faith? i bought three other pairs of jeans and some shit shirts. then i blew a bunch of money at h&m and dinner on curly haired fuckbag at watusi. god i love watusi. that’s my shitty date bar. beast refuses to go to it hahaha.

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i drank a thousand coffees yesterday. during the other guys i was fighting panic attacks the entire way through.

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too much food for that early in the day. all side orders. grilled tomatoes aren’t even on the menu.

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h&m has these really great shirts right now go buy some up. i had to stop myself at 2.

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necklace from claire’s. glad i didn’t get this weird crystal prism diamond thing.

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part of the top of my hair is broken. i tore some out on accident from re-tying ponytails and buns so now i have a cowlick and i will never not look like garth.

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these glasses correct drunken blurred stoned vision. awesome.

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last photo of the day with hair down. got too muggy. when i opened the bar yesterday i did so in my bikini. why haven’t i been doing that all summer??? stupid.

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overtired seconds prior to passing out barely remembered taking this.

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still on island time. you know what, i don’t want to hear about anybody’s vacation. ever. i don’t care how your weekend at the cottage was and i don’t care what your next road trip is going to be like either. i am bitter. i am going to NOLA in september.

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courtney walked by on her way to the supermarket. this is what i look like in a real life conversation. breathtaking. nice mom paunch shorts.

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ugh astor’s not every drink has to be taken to a fuckin’ TEN ok. i drink coffee black short of that creamed up by something that is actually booze not sugar whip cream. woah why am i so aggro right now?

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$2.98 shades from aldo with neck strings attached. go to aldo all their glasses and whatever else summer accessories are cheap. basically go to any store right now and it’s all clearances on summer stock what is this the penny saver? (yes).

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oh great it’s just about to storm and i was pretty much dependent upon gyming my rage out plus its been two days.

a real nice post is on the horizon don’t worry.

got picked up at the bar last nite on my way out i was too gunned to stick around though. also a guy i gave my number to at the gym texted/called so he’s not gay. the girl and i at the front desk went through all the dudes in the gym’s photos til we found his. i came down and was like look i know this is entirely against company protocol but i don’t care he has my number anyway, but lets check out his photo you tell me if he’s gay or not (gym is practically in the village) and she’s all over it. the desk girls love me cos they’re bored out of their minds and i come in dripping in sweat, maybe stoned, putting back one of the energy shots basically i’m duffman. if it goes anywhere i’ll tell you more details about how we cruised each other so you can follow suit at your own gym. oh and i accidentally kissed a customer on the cheek last nite when he was paying his bill hahahahah ughhhhhh. he was like 6’8 and leaned down to thank my hospitality (fine young ass) and i leaned back up in and said you’re welcome/pecked him and then went ahhh sorry! then a chick in his circle (older-set) comes over blasted HEY DID YOU KISS THAT GUY? yes i did why am i in trouble sorry couldn’t help it he leaned in it was like kissing my dad it felt like family she laughs no big deal meanwhile his actual wife is out there givin’er too! i said is he out there bragging about it right now?? yes he is she says now this guy his friend is getting in line for one too.

if you need me i’ll be batting a thousand in the park.

i can’t help it i’m cheery i hug and kiss everyone it’s natural not forced and i’m affectionate i’ll hug a serial killer i don’t care i hugged mangy flea-ridden cats in mexico then i probably ate one the next day at the buffet. hey-o!