hey it’s my mom and look how happy she is because i gave her one of my books for her birthday!!! we went out for lunch yesterday. i paid. i wrote in her card that even though she is cuckoo she is still the greatest. her real birthday is on sunday and she will be turning 39. no lie. hi mom. love you.

total quote by my mom, “…blah blah this is the BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER SEEEEN! everyone should have a copy of their own!”

she told me a story about my little cousin and how much of a hyper spazz she is. my mom and my niece were over at my nana and papa’s house with said cousin and my nana put sopranos on and bratkid was like I DON’T WANT TO WATCH THE SOPRANOOOOOS and then she screams out OK I’M GONNA COUNT THE FUCKS!!!

ONE FUCK TWO FUCKS THREE FUCKS FOUR FUUUUCKS ONE SHIT THAT’S TWO SHITS!

then my nana said she was going to get the soap and my niece chimes in NO i’ll get the soap! heh. good one niece!

then bratkid exclaims that she is going to do her sexy dance. i think she is 4 by the way, possibly 5.

so she starts grinding and humping the air and singing I’M A SEXY I’M SEXY I AM A SEXY I HAVE A DICK I HAVE A DICK I HAVE AN ASS!!

MY FAMILY RUUULES!