The tale of Medusa Sedusa

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no more birthdays, not mine, not yours, no one’s!

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well maybe except my brother’s which is april 10 but then, no more until melodie’s which is may, thank god. i’ll be nice and healthy by then to undo it and start all over again. yay life.

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so we start in the cab and we’re late but oh well that’s how it goes right?

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my fresh little birthday surprise confuser.

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then there’s me of course.

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and one of my drummettes. everyone had eaten before we got there. i ordered both kinds of drummettes (for the table) and didn’t finish them, first time ever. i am a pig it’s no secret.

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every time i eat (all the time) we take out an imaginary phone and imaginary type while saying out loud she’s eating again which is what teacher texted about me on our first date. he found it endearing and funny that i was eating and being a dickhole mess. applying loads and loads of vitamine e to my hands because i had burned the one a few days prior.

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looking at pictures of people opening presents must be about as interesting as people showing you their vacation pictures. i just had an a-ha moment because that’s basically EVERYTHING that i do daily for a decade somehow i made this interesting.

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do a little dance. happy dance. last night i danced at the japan benefit for the last band and afterward i gave my card to the singer and he’s like are you a dancer??? i am THAT good.

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joining burlesque awoke all the moves i have in me. move memory.

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that card is from my brother.

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my top gift.

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i immediately had to play with it.

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these are hard to look at cos i have post birthday blues. and booze blues. and period blues. HA the trifecta!

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5 balloons are in my room right now, and one of the happy birthday ones too. lasters.

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those shoes are multi-purpose i almost used them as bath slippers yesterday. rain booty water absorbent. good good.

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having two photographers is neat. look see here.

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c’est interessant.

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i like this euro looking shot. i gave linda my camera to take pictures, thanks babe.

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mom will not stop saying shazam and guess what it’s already turned to copper and dying to make my finger green. i can only wear for a minimal amount of time. at a time.

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gorgeous though.

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ooh it’s a hand off. mom has the best shade of nail lacquer there. cappuccino?

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an impressionist book from melucas.

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this card is the fucking best. mel made it. i’m their raymbo bright.

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and a hippie.

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then lucas sucked all the fun away immediately and had to learn me something. haha he always gets me books. i’ve read them all. i’m not very adventurous in my reading materials as i am super impressionable and overly-stimulated, derno, stubborn? rigid? narrow minded? or i think i know everything already yeah that’s it.

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one of the authors of the short stories contained signed it to me. awesome.

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i love new paintbrushes mine are pretty gnarly.

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i didn’t know why my dad wanted me to pose with this, i hadn’t looked at the cover but also my face is fat in every photo what the fuuuuuck. i am going on a water de-bloatation science experiment this week you’ll see by friday i will be gwyneth paltrow. the mayor makes me feel extra fat too.

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who knows.

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my real life doll. who does all her own dressing and preening, cooking, responsibilities, perfect!

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here’s where things got funny. no wait they started that way.

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if teacher doesn’t get contacts or new lenses i dunno, i am not a glasses 24/7 dating type chick. also look at that face. if you get shit right, don’t fuck it up. melodie’s incoming says it all.

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gratuitous cake. i wanna get all my girlfriends on the same cycle (i think we are already ahha) and then have a PMS party and the guest of honour of course will be a huge fucking cake. no one would let photos be taken either cos we’d all be fat water retaining pigs of course.

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how’d you like your martini, mum?

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cute aunty in there too.

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my new cards are amazing.

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it’s a lot safer over here with brosz7.

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hello pretty girl. skinny ankles club co-prez.

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clem comes in wearing a girl scarf and brosz7 rips him on looking like a little woman. or maybe that was me. but first they were sitting side by side ignoring one another then turn and get startled, it was funny.

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i love this photo. we need to recreate it in a bigger space and three more people, it’s called a volcanic people hug eruption and the hug sculpture that we are represents lava. i am serious. maybe i will even trademark it. clem the pig was like oh yeah i’m getting in on this so i don’t think we ever got a pose picture of us girls together cos we immediately just started havin’ a gab. cool clem, thanks for that.

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blue eyed silver fox braved the awkward for a bit then left. my brother was like yo we saw that guy outside while smoking he was kinda sketch looking for a bus or something? haha i love my brother’s insider info on shit. i would be frantic too if i walked in on my bday scene.

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mom all night was like you don’t love me waaah. hahaha oh shut up yes i do. when you become a mother do they implant a guilt trip microchip into your fucking brain?

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red flag had soda water because he’s doing some new no drinking thing. smart. he’s always “doing something” though which is funny and admirable. he said his ex said he looked like shit. that’ll do it i guess.

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my girl april (why did you say you wore that colour pants again i forget but i remember i liked whatever the reason was haha) and new budday lisa, who will get a nickname once i think of one.

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i have like the same jacket as teacher, with patches though. we have a lot of similarities in music (brit pop) and clothing styles, shoes. it’s too much! i’m still dating world i swear you can’t nail me down or cage me i’m suffocating smothered claustrophobia haaaalp. kidding and not kidding and just getting it off my chest. i hear girls gossip about this like it’s 90210 i want in on that shit! is this the no raymis club?

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now i spy abigail and kelowna. hello hello. saw both of them the next night, one at the spoke the other at salvador darling. fun fun. then i ran into ab’s brother in front of mitzi’s during my terrible hangover and what i would imagine his also and i yelled to him across the street a bunch of nonsense, a greeting i mean which in raymi is just noise and lots of it.

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long hair, check. likes being naked, check. jam rock, check. weed, check. hahahah so funny.

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sooo white. back to using my vitamin e. i thought it was giving me zits but i don’t care anymore i’d rather not be a white lizard. that microdermabrasion actually made me glow for a week.

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pineapple coconut juice (the real shit, thick) and beer. DIVINELY revitalized. had my first sip before the teacher came back and then he walked in the door and every second before that i was not even a human at all, so hung. i had a hangover every day during birthday week. it was extreme as you all know i do’er hard. the teacher gave me a key, 90210 club. weeks ago. over a week at least. my colleague was like wow, there must really be something about (i can’t say the rest because i am a prude now) you, just, wow. hahaha yup. that drink made me look like this.

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painted lady sweet passion lady how the hell does that go i swear melodie croons it sometimes but i might be dreaming or hallucinating or inventing a memory. i cannot wait for the salad i will be eating tonight for dinner. guess which one, it’s a huge one off the raymi’s salad tour of the city continuation project and no it’s not epic’s caesar, i’m saving that one for the foot fetishist to take me mid-week. date-to-eat-a-thon. tomorrow is billy elliott with my godmother and mom STOKED!

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