and i don’t know if the dead can talk to anyone

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983895136/in/photostream/

boy do i ever stand out, out here it makes things a little less relaxing to move around by. just hit this freshly laid asphalt parking lot around the corner at burlington mall with my longboard. bombed my way there a little bit to limber up. haven’t really boarded much at all since my wipe-out in may so i wanted to ease back in as mellow yellow as possible fuck it feels great especially when the wind pushes you i felt like a sail at some points, windsurfing my way through canadian tire’s lot.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983933282/

everything having to do with suburbia fascinates me. i don’t feel much attached to anything in life right now, haven’t really for a while it feels but i can remember feeling trapped in the suburbs and it being hard seeing a way out of it. now i feel trapped in the city instead funny how that is. i genuinely enjoy myself out here cos i can just be a shithead transient. watching people walk by the window i see that they are so fully immersed in their lives here it makes me wonder about them, their futures, are they happy. i don’t consider aything about city folk though i feel like i’ve got all their numbers. there is nothing left to wonder. they bore me. nothing interesting there. how backward is that? cos you’d think suburban folk are the boring set cos they’re ordinary, which is what fascinates me. make sense? i think it’s harder to live in the suburbs than it is to live in the city. it’s hard to settle and be content. there is no battle left to fight out here in terms of success or dreams, it’s just, this. this is it. this is as good as it’s going to get. but in the city there is an overwhelming stressed out vibe to achieve and to keep going more and more don’t give up. ok i don’t know how that is supposed to be easier but i know that the distraction of the city is what makes life more bearable you just go from one thing to another to another and you can mentally check out. simple. here, it’s a lot harder to occupy oneself. it’s hard to wake up everyday and know that it’s going to be pretty fucking dull. that’s how i felt when i lived in the ‘burbs for awhile, particularly mississauga.

i guess i’m a classic depressive projectionist. projectionalist? there is no spellcheck on this thing. i spy two underage girls smoking outside wow they look so dumb i’m so embarrassed for what i looked like at 15 now. cringe.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983297615/in/photostream/

KO’D!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983297125/in/photostream/

do you ever feel like EVERYONE is mad at you?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983296741/in/photostream/

gym bangs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983892328/in/photostream/

the father who lives across the street i have been charting his hyper-active behavioural patterns for years now. my friend noel would appreciate this. i have seen his daughters grow. the guy just can’t relax i find it super hilarious. on a day mid-week this very summer i watched him partake in at least 20 different activities. what a spazz. errands lawn watering grocery shopping unloading the minivan washing the minivan just endless shit and it’s not that i see him as some sort of suburban science specimen even though i kind of do, i just find him so typically suburban it makes me emotional in a way. i also know he’s part shut-in and totally curious about what goes on over this side of the street i bet he’s walking around his family room in circles looking at britt’s jersey plates going BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAN???? hahaha or me tooling around on my board one day out of the blue dressed like hermosa beach. if i don’t invent fantasy worlds for strangers it’s like i’ll die or something i’ve just got to believe there is more going on.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983291915/in/photostream/

i too need to learn to relax. i always feel like i am exhausted coming off some whirlwind wild week true this last one i can definitely see in my face. and my hair. we drove straight from my assaulting myself at the gym yesterday. looking my worst is burlington’s best.

holy beatlemania trivia night. i have wanted britt and my dad to meet for years now. the first time i met her and she tried to school me on lennon i was all, oh please. hand in the air. totally hosed. we sparred for sure. have kept at it ever since. just wait til you meet my dad. i was hoping we were going to jam but the drum kit is gone now to randy’s. damn.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983287581/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983882902/in/photostream/

the white grape vodka end display was effective. got a bottle. good with cranberry. i am a new product junky. total complete product of consumer victimization. coupland quote.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4983284965/in/photostream/

ugh summer is over i don’t even want to write about it i’m so bummed.