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ten ways to not to be afraid of your shadow, and how to rationalise all fears and how to successfully, justify paranoia, squash the crepe out of it, send it packing, so long, stop drinking, smoking weed, and snorting coke. by raymi

1. stop calling it paranoia. call it awareness. called it your period or your lunchbox, basically, give it a new term/title, altogether. when we use general terms to describe specific terms, or a feeling we have, it makes it way worse than it truely is because then shit gets way out of hand, way out of your head, and then you are sitting in your car and your heart is going too fast and you are chainsmoking and every person that walks by looks at you because they see you are freaking out and then you think they are looking at you because of whatever awareness you have going on and really, person looking at you is like, what the fuck, yo?

2. stop smoking weed. stop drinking. stop cocaine, fullfuckingstop cocaine. stop any and all drugs. just fucking stop. STOP. just do it, however, and whatever it takes to make you a saner person. do it today. quit TODAY. don’t say quitting tomorrow or i already had a drink today so i should quit tomorrow or next week. whatever. fine. finish drinking today then. you know in your heart that you’re gonna start drinking tomorrow and into next week. stay away from people who drink. stay away from people who do not have their shit together. period. don’t feel bad for them. don’t feel superior. don’t let them make YOU feel bad for cleaning up. say fuck you, get your shit together, be a fucking adult already, get a job, keep your job, whatever job. be happy in your job. make that job your drink and all the repetitive tasks, your drug. the people you work with and see everyday are your new thing. and if you work in a bar, be the good example for them and say no i do not want a shot or fake shoot it, whatever, don’t even pour yourself a drop. fuck that noise. drinking is a downer. you know how shitty you feel the next day, right, day after booze blues, that is such a terrible feeling. think about your liver. think about your children and your friends and your neice and your nephews and your parents. start thinking straight, then you start acting straight, then you start being straight and then your brains won’t be so scared all the time, you know. don’t be afraid of sobriety. ever. there are doctors and rehab facilities and so many wonderful things available to you in aiding in this cleaning the fuck up. when you see ads for booze, LAUGH AT THEM. go, HA HA, that is pretty effective, but not for me because that shit just wants to kill me and it will kill me and then it will kill my children because monkey see monkey do. ble ble.

and if yer a heavy potsmoker, hash toker, fucker, stop it. yeh yer sad and you are fixing your sadness with something that takes away your drive and your memory and your smarts, gives you the worst moodswings, anger rages ever, and does cause brain damage and cancer and it’s illegal. duh. and if you deal it, you’re a fucking loser idiot and you should be in jail because you are contributing to the demise of your custy’s lives, ruining families, people dying, illegitimate money-makings, fuck you, start anew. it makes people crazy. where does hashish come from, what do people in that place do when they’re sitting around plotting bad things, and why can my brain work exactly the same way as one and every duder like that and why and how could yours as well? think about it idiot. why do we all have the i am jesus complex? why not, right? just, not all of us were born into riches and had/have the means to start a holy war, you know. how can we be taught to respect a society that does not respect women? we can’t. but we can learn, if they learn and the other way around. how can they respect a society that is married to technology? they can’t, but they use the technology to get us out, right? right. anyway, yer shit is occupied, and so is mine, and they want us out, basically. be aware of that, it’s not a fucking secret and i am not the first one to say it, or think it, a smarter person tole me this.

and the first thing you shoulda done but it’s probably the last thing you start doing, is the white devil powder that plants this awareness in yer brain to begin with. do not do it, ever, fucking, again. and if you haven’t, good for you, don’t you ever let anyone ever give it to you, offer it to you, run the fucking other way. don’t let them talk you into it, call them a cokerage little dick and piss on their rug, damnit. when you associate with people who do drugs, first of all, the drugs are doing them, secondly, they may not be using anymore, but their brains are, be aware of that, be gentle with them and their souls, their spirits, everything. you have got to figure out for your person what addictions do to people. you have got to realise they started for a reason, and, that reason is, sadness. period. you have to be there for them a little bit but not a lot of bit, because, you now, are an adult, and adults have their shit together, so start fucking showing and knowing it. be patient with these people, be sensitive to them, love them, respect them, don’t say the cokerage thing and piss on their rug like i said up there, you know. say something better. say whatever it is you can to express your, i am gonna be here for you, but there is only so much i can do to help before my heart can’t take it anymore.

and if you can’t empathize because you have never done a line in your life, find someone who has, and ask them how to help your little friend that you love so much, because your little friend is worth it, and you love them, and you do not want them to hurt themselves anymore and you want them to go into work on monday and pay their rent and buy a house someday and raise a family, because family is the most important thing in the world and if you don’t have one, my family will be your family and my friends will be your family, i will be your family, you dig?

3. don’t let people call you spoiled when people say this, they are jealous because they were not fortunate to be born into a family with a good soul with monies or one that has a house or one that doesn’t rape you hit you fuck your little sister, etc. move away from that shit and don’t feel bad about it and be jealous of other people and their families and then call them spoiled. that’s ridiculous. no one asked to be born with a silver spoon shoved in their fucking mouth. babies born with silver spoons have parents with addictions that ignore them and yell and are in love with materials, so fuck you. you were born in another country altogether and you don’t have to worry about materials and technology but it comes over to you eventually, because you have a silver spoon all the way over there and then you hate us, fuck you again. you use to sell oil ten bucks a barrel and now it is fifty bucks. you don’t even have cars, ok fine, we get that we make a jillion of them to get us to our shit-end jobs where we make shit-money for our shitkids who hate us because we are not around so we buy them five-hundred bicycles and take them to movies about spykids who fight evil and then our shitkids are scurred to sleep because you rule with terror, you fucking cowards. you are not going to heaven because you are making earth, hell. one day there will be a eutopia but that won’t happen until the evil are dead. i have never killed a person in my life, let alone, a trillion kajillion therefore, i am going to heaven. i have never raped anyone and i will never rape someone. i i i me me me. bla bla. fuck you. don’t train kids to fight your war. your shit is between you and the other guy and that is why the UN exists, dickheads. no one is blameless. Hillary should be president because she is smart and stuck by that got a blowjob focker and let her ego be crushed, to further her career. a woman should be president because of the sixth sense. you have to learn to take orders from women because one graciously shot you out of her uterus and now little focker, wise up.

4. DO NOT show fear showing fear is a weakness. showing you are afraid makes them happy to see you afraid. who is them? everyone. show them you are pissed-off ‘cos they wronged you and do not ever let them forget that hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned, serious. oh yeh a dude too. but still, be mad, be very mad, but keep your senses and your smarts. don’t worry about making yourself a target all the time, fuck that. YOU’RE a fucking target, not me. kill me? i’ll kill you my fucking self if i have to. know where i live? i know where YOU live. know where i am from? i know where YOU are from. once you change your mentality to that of i am not afraid of spiders and mice and stupid everyday household potential disasters, whatever, get over it, get over fear. right now fear is not an option. just be nice and don’t make innocent people suffer because your loudmouthness. if it comes down to you having to go into the witness protective relocation program, fucking go there and you are never allowed to see your family again, if it comes down to that.

5. and that bleeds into number five. if you know too much about certain illegitimate doings, say fuck you, i’ll answer once i talk with my lawyer first and if they say we are placing you under arrest so speak brotha’ say, i have the right to remain silent, sucka. don’t have one? fucking get one, use the cheapo lawyer they offer you. go get a pro-boner one like michelle pfeiffer in i am sam, especially if your case is ethical in-nature or something. don’t let the policia threaten and scare you. know your fucking rights. KNOW THEM. and use them. say, look focker, i am not the only one who knows too much, i was just around at stupid dumb times, you cannot break me or my family, we are not dumb. we want nothing to do with this, fuck off. but be nice when you say fuck off. let the bad guys and the good guys know that yeh bla bla bla but also duh duh duh and then say it is out of my hands, go scare somebody else because i have a family like how you have a family and they have a family, and i just want to get on with my life, so catch the bad guys all by your shitty little selves and the bad guys, well, do whatever, but i don’t want to hear about it, i don’t want to see about it. and also, don’t let the po-po trick you and/or assume you know certain things when you don’t. tell them yo, i am afraid for my life and the well-being of everything, so knock on someone else’s door and no i do not know where that door is. maybe if things like crime and money and status and power and middleclass and crooked cops and robbers and gi joe didn’t exist, things would be better. do your job and leave me alone. basically.

6. don’t lie never lie. don’t dance around the truth. don’t mislead and shit. don’t spread rumors and half-truths. don’t say i got lots of money when you don’t. don’t cover-up for other people ‘cos then it’s your stupid silly ass. don’t lie because they can get yer fingerprints and go yeh idiot you were here stupid and we know you were and you touched this, retard. they ask what you were doing there, say i was listening to music, which you fucking were and if shit was happening, you didn’t see it, which you didn’t, and nothing was happening in the first place. seriously. i saw nothing, so why would i say i saw something? like get a clue. i have bad hearing right now because of my bipolar crap, you know. so i can’t hear things an then i say what whaat what kuz i think i have to know everything and then people are like what? and then just be all, ok fine.

7. don’t assume don’t assume what you didn’t hear and what you didn’t see was something bad or illegal. neeeeaht.

8. fuck, this is starting to get boring.

9. don’t be afraid of doctors but don’t let them mindfuck and control your thoughts and give you a lobotomy or send you away. fuck that. use the rational side of your head to dissuade that noise. don’t go crazy and run into the street, onto a bus, with your pajama pants on and no socks and then get sent to the crazy hospital and be formed by the one doctor that all the cunt nurses look up to and then he tells you yeh those crazy girls in the looner bin with you were fucking with your head because you were too cocky, meanwhile nancy is a schizo and barked that herfather fucked her and shit and one day you were so pissed by her you fucking pulled out her hair and stuff and she was smiling the whole time. in fact, i should sue the whole fucking horsepital.

10. don’t join a cult or anything cultish in nature and don’t be a follower, be a leader. the end and good luck.

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