free hit counter

raymisms



hey guys, i blew my (gift card) load at h&m after eating hangover lunch at spadina gardens (bad idea) with fil, he went to get a bike at canadian tire, on sale for 100 bucks, sweet deal and totally sweet looking ride, i am going to brainstorm all nite long over whether i should get the same one, the sale ends tomorrow, you save 200 dollars, otherwise we get my grandma’s bike from the burbs. the point of this is i have acid reflux right now and rolaids don’t do shit. the first shirt i came out of the bedroom wearing that i bought fil goes oh is that the one you’re unsure of? before i even asked, and NO it’s NOT the one i’m unsure of! do you know how many things he slams of mine? then i was walking a teeny bit huffily from the bathroom to the kitchen then to the bedroom not saying anything and he goes lauren are you giving me attitude (yes) i say no. i’m keeping this shirt to spite him i don’t care how itchy it is right now. i feel like garbage. i was pretty close to getting root beer schnapps to mix with beer (like a jager + red bull) i saw this cooking show last week the dude made one of those, then i came to my senses and got wine and some other junk, on my way out this old whimsical dude taps me on my shoulder excuse me, huh, i turn excuse me, he says here i want you to have this book and hands me a book called stunt by claudia dey i look down at it oh thanks? he says i made it i go ok thanks great, totally random. we look all over it to see what part of it he actually made and why he singled me out at the liquor store, i think it’s cos i look annex waspy crazy i guess? maybe he has something to do with the publisher, in any event i’m contacting them to see if they want to print my book. then we bumped into jason chapman at loblaws he made fun of my purchases and said oh nice prosciutto i guess i’ll see that on your blog later. dick.

this post is brought to you by i hope i don’t barf. if i ever say lets go get some singapore vermicelli or i just ralphed up singapore vermicelli, you can pull my hair and hit me. i never ever learn ever.

Jason: hahaha. the way YOU say it, it’s much funnier than when i said it. dick!

me: yeah i made you look funny
well u did ask why i was in the supermarket
and im like buying FOOD

Jason: haha. i thought there might be something more specific as the answer. like, we’re making so-and-so because i had a brainstorm from a tv show, or something. i dunno. i’m just as brain dead as you today.

me: dude i can barely finish thoughts let alone a fucking culinary adventure




Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *