bingo bango. eventually there will be more garbage art and i’ll change the merch. around though for now this is it. thank you. oh and if you buy something make sure you take a picture of yourself with it/wearing it so everyone can see how cool it looks. thank you again.
Dear Raymi
We found a hotel for 4 days in the middle of march in Dublin, my other friend
is looking for free places that may or may not exist, and I’m looking for a
house around here with some friends for next year. Homeless in Dublin for 5
days sounds dangerously fun. Almost like Kerouac, which I’m reading for class
at the moment, only we’d be in the same city the whole time.
Trying to sort things out with my pseudo-girlfriend. I’m trying to think of a
way to tell her the following “I like you, I want to be friends, and I’d like
to try dating you, but if I never see you again that’s fine too.” I need to
put some tact in there so she leans towards the former two options and not the
latter, but then I think maybe the latter is best for me, and then I think
that I want popcorn. I’ve become increasingly happier as I’ve stopped
thinking about stuff in general, girl included, so I’m going to see how life
pans out without thinking so fucking much.
That’s life this week. Bottling wine in the next two weeks or so, should be
excellent.
Poker Chips are a symbol of green paper which is supposed to be a symbol of
gold somewhere along the line but isn’t anymore, and gold itself is a kinda
useless metal anyways, or at least was before computer chips and all that shit
so when I think of poker chips it immediately strikes me that our economic
structure is based entirely on the idea that people liked shiny shit back in
the day. It’d be depressing if it weren’t so goddamned funny.
One of these days I hope to find the guy that started the askew angle baseball
hat trend, beat the shit out of him, and when he’s lying prostrate on the
ground beneath my feet I reach down and turn that motherfucking hat to the
front where it belongs. Hopefully it’ll be like when Conan the Barbarian
kills Thulsa Doom in that movie and then all of Doom’s followers just kinda
lose intrest and go back to their lives. Only this way frat boys everywhere
stop for a second and slightly turn their baseball caps so they’re straight.
It’s so beautiful in my mind… well not really as they still disgust me, but
nontheless it’s a pleasing thought.
I’d ask you for advice but I’m pretty sure tact isn’t necessarily your thing
either, so I’ll just say hey, wish you well, and sign my name
I wish you well,
youre funny
which kerouac book are you reading
u should steal the essay i wrote and put on my blog except make it
better and up to par for university standards
hey i can give advice im a good advice giver what do u need advice for
the girl?
well u just have to say it straight
obviously she is obsessed with you more than u are her which is great
for ur ego but draining on yer conscience so u can make yourself to be
a complete asshole til she completely hates the shit out of you and
dumps your ass but then she ould whine to everyone in school about how
much of a fucke you are and then u have that sort of reputation
hmm
then u could tell her straight and have her crying and stuff and then
you feel bad and then yer like oh ok lets give this another shot, out
of pure guilt so then u are dating her again for a little bit and
everyday she looks at you and goes you still love me right? and you go
yessssssssssssssssssssss sure i do and then before you know it is
march and you’re off to dublin and the girl breaks into your dormroom
and completely destroys everything.
ok i guess i am bad at relationship advice
everything turns to pure negative evil
what else do u need advice for?
Dear Raymi
well. i guess i am going a little manic. maybe. or more like finally. haha.
i want to come live here. maybe not in this house. but like here. or
mtl. just down the road. maybe after the -40 weather fucks right off.
so inregards to your question. yes. its really cold here. the real
temp is almost always below -22 and then the good old wind factor
comes in.
i read about the sex show on your site. and your thoughts. i doubt you
will look like a cow.
when i get home i want to start a band that makes people dance. like
an electrorokk dance band. with flashing lights. and synthesizers.
so far my best name for it is “spectator sport : 4010″ although the
number could be anything. 4010 has no real meaning. could be 123. 46.
888. etc.
if you have any suggestions please let me know. this guy theo
suggested “robo-france” which is good too. but hes a trip in itself.
like he told me “im leaving for this volunteer mission thing for a
year” so i stayed in town to see what was apparently his last
show with his current band before his mission. but insider information
had previously informed me that he was pussying out of said mission.
so i guess ill see when i get back. he SHOULD be gone by now. but if
hes not. hes totally in the band. (and a total piece of shit) haahah.
today we played checkers with shot glassess.
anyways. i HAVE to be home by the 16th of feb. cause i have tickets to
a show that day. but im sure ill talk to you before then anyways.
scott-o.
Dear Scott
secret mission thing eh sounds like that fucking christian cult crap
spooky
hope he didnt go to it afterall
spectator sport with the numbers i like for sure
but also robodance is brilliant also
i just saw that movie in good company where the guy is dating the girl and hes the boss of the other guy who is older than he is and i felt depressed afterward kuz he doesnt stay dating that girl and also he loses his job and then the older guy offers the job back to him and he is like no i want to believe in something bla bla and it ends with him jogging on the beach talking on his cellfone to the older guy
i dont want to watch realistic movies hollywood. i want to see big expensive marriages and babies and monogomy and everyone is skinny and happy and equally important and famous and wealthy and arty….
thank u for being optimistic about me not looking like a cow on that show i hope that you are right
i have not had an alcoholic beverage today so im blue and i am also on my period so my cat could even make me cry
my dad bought me a pitch pipe so i am walking around going deet, that was a D sharp. deeeeeeeeeeet that was a G. and so on.
here is a joke:
this guy got in a car accident and the whole left side of his body is totally wrecked but it’s ok now because he is all RIGHT.
uh huh huhuhh. my dad told me it.
bye
poplockin courtesy of runny nose.
January 24, 2005
so me and the cat hung out today and i put a pillow on the desk for him to sit on but because he is half retarded and half eccentric he had to walk around the laptop in circles and snort at me then dig through the pillow for a little while and drink some of my coffee and now he’s fucked off someplace i don’t know where.
my mum still refers to him as a “her” and it drives us mental.
i think i am going to start a cafepress account so i can sell you guys t-shirts with my shitty drawings on them so you can walk around and get laid because people will be impressed with you for wearing a t-shirt that your mentally-challenged little cousin gave you for easter.
millionaires club, here i come.
raymi says:
ok so there is this one guy named skiffy miffy and he has clouds for feet and he has
tourette’s syndrome
raymi says:
and a permanent milk moustache
raymi says:
and he is kind of like a bear, sort of
Jamie says:
and a pouch like a kangaroo that he keeps his wallet in, credit cards and such
raymi says:
right and he works at the newspaper kiosk in the forest
raymi says:
and he has a crush on these flying rabbit twins
Jamie says:
and he wants to go out to eat, but everywhere he goes, they tell him he can’t come in without shoes
raymi says:
because sometimes his shoes disappear especially on sunny days
Jamie says:
he wants to take the rabbit twins on a date
Jamie says:
no
Jamie says:
he can’t find good shoes
Jamie says:
because he has could feet
raymi says:
and kuz of his tourette’s syndrome he is always screaming FUCKING WHORES when he doesnt mean to and it scares the flying rabbits and they fly away
raymi says:
well he prefers cloud shoes
Jamie says:
and the shoe salesmen too
Jamie says:
cloud shoes for cloud feet
raymi says:
but then one day one of the flying rabbit girls visits the newspaper stand
raymi says:
no he has normal feet
raymi says:
it’s just that the shoes are clouds
raymi says:
ok fine his feet are clouds too
Jamie says:
you started it
Jamie says:
but okay
raymi says:
ok anyway the one rabbit has the courage to visit skiffy miffy because she has a drinking problem
Jamie says:
his feet are normal magical bear feet
raymi says:
and she is an abrasive drunk so she goes there all cocked and when he calls her a fucking whore she is like whatever skiffy you are so cute i love you bla bla bla
Jamie says:
the other rabbit warns her
raymi says:
oh and the currency of the forest is gummi bears, not money
Jamie says:
yeah, the drunk rabbit kind of likes it
raymi says:
totally
raymi says:
and her name is frosted flakes
Jamie says:
the magical bear cloud footed thing gives her his credit card to go get more booze
raymi says:
and she broke her wings because she flew into a cliff one day
raymi says:
so she gets her sister to fly for her
raymi says:
this story is awesome by the way
Jamie says:
“here ya go frosted flakes, pick up a bottle of elderberry wine. I can;t go to the liquor store because they don’t like me swearing all the time”
raymi says:
so she gets her sister to go but doesnt tell skiffy because she is ashamed of her broken wings
Jamie says:
the sister flying rabitbird says, “screw you and your abusive magical bear friend. I’m not gonna buy you booze”
raymi says:
and her name is cupcake tits
Jamie says:
frosted flakes begs her because she says that she finally found true love and why do you wanna ruin everything for me all the time?
raymi says:
but she is jealous of the budding love of skiffy and frosted flakes
raymi says:
so she takes the credit card with the unlimited gummi bears on it and buys a ticket for a cruise ship holiday in the caribbean
Jamie says:
so she agrees o buy the booze, but on the way back puts a magical potion in it
Jamie says:
oh
raymi says:
oh ok i like what u said better
Jamie says:
well, she can deliver the magical potion, and then go on a cruise
raymi says:
ok
raymi says:
the magical potion wine makes skiffy forget that he gave out his credit card and also makes him turn into 5 screaming skiffys
raymi says:
like multiplicity
Jamie says:
and they all have cloud shoes, and are runing around the forest cutting their feet on rocks
Jamie says:
but they don’t swear when they cut their feet
Jamie says:
they recite poetry becasue it’s some kind of weirdo opposite tourettes effect
raymi says:
and then frosted flakes is totally turned off by the skiffys and breaks up with all five of them
raymi says:
and dates the flying squirrel instead because he can fly her around to help get her grocery shopping done
Jamie says:
and goes home to fine cupcake tits
Jamie says:
but she’s away on her cruise
Jamie says:
but comes home all skinny and tan
Jamie says:
with a monkeybird that she met on the cruise
raymi says:
and cupcake tits gets found by some snotty nose boy and he asks his parents if he can keep her and they are like fine whatever
raymi says:
oh ok ignore what i said
raymi says:
i was gonna make it so she has a love affair with the little boy and go that whole beastiality angle
Jamie says:
and frosted flakes is drunk and makes a pass at the monkeybird
Jamie says:
go where you wana go…i’ll follow
raymi says:
what does the monkeybird look like
raymi says:
well i like that all these things are happening
Jamie says:
the monkeybird looks like a monkey and a bird
raymi says:
hmm
Jamie says:
he has on a hawaiian shirt
raymi says:
his name is henry
raymi says:
and he smokes gitanes
raymi says:
and he can speak russian
Jamie says:
yes, and his nose is a long french beak
Jamie says:
and he thinks frosted flakes is sexy
Jamie says:
and takes the flying squirrel aside and asks if he’s interested in wife swapping
raymi says:
and cupcake tits is super pissed off
Jamie says:
but frosted flakes likes the idea
Jamie says:
so they start to fight
Jamie says:
“you’re just jealous because i found a rich european gentleman, and you want to steal him away”
Jamie says:
and frosted flakes says, “no. i just think it would spice things up around here”
raymi says:
and cupcake tits unveils her secret magical power which is shooting lightning bolts out of her rabbit ears
raymi says:
pink lightning bolts
Jamie says:
and frosted flakes used to have magical powers too, except she drank them all away
Jamie says:
so she’s at a distinct disadvantage
raymi says:
but for some reason all the guys are hot for her
raymi says:
it’s because of her spunky personality
Jamie says:
and her sexy outfits
raymi says:
but then cupcake tits shoots a pink lightning bolt at her head
raymi says:
and she dies
raymi says:
the end
Jamie says:
and she cracks wide open
Jamie says:
oh
Jamie says:
i was gonna say there was a little worm inside
raymi says:
well wait. to be continued……..
raymi says:
hahaa
Jamie says:
how about the worm teaches them the meaning of peace and brotherhood
Jamie says:
and the moral of the story is:
Jamie says:
no good ever came from drinking
Jamie says:
and no bad ever came from not drinking
raymi says:
hmm that sounds christian
Jamie says:
okay
Jamie says:
how about
Jamie says:
inside every lush, there’s a worm
raymi says:
how about a volcano erupts and the whole forest is covered in hot lava
Jamie says:
yeah, creme cheese lava
Jamie says:
hey whatever happened to cloudfoot? i forget
Jamie says:
cause maybe he can walk on the lava because of his cloud shoes
raymi says:
oh he was captured because some campers saw him and thought he was one of those bigfoot things and now he is in a japanese zoo
Jamie says:
scattered in five different asian zoos
Jamie says:
because there were five of them
