women who complain about the objectification of women are irritating as crap and men who complain about the objectification of women are spineless pussies who are dating the women who complain about the objectification of women and they can get out of my life and shut up.
why don’t you burn some KISS records while you are at it?
why bother getting annoyed by ads of girls in bikinis selling toothpaste and deep fryers, that shit is FUNNY because advertisers who stoop to that level are desperate and you should find that funny and if the ad is pulled off properly enough then you should find it SEXY.
stop claiming to be a feminist also.
Y A W N.
don’t delude yourself and say i am a feminist so i can be promiscuous and i am intelligent because i read a few books about existentialism.
you are a skanky ho bag and you sleep around you are not a feminist.
in summation, women who complain about seeing hot babes in magazine ads are fat and jealous.
this is how i feel when i have to take a shower because i hate washing my face and taking off clumpy slept-on mascara in the shower/bath it makes me want to run away i hate it so i dilly-dally as much as i can before getting in there
one day i think shortly after moving to toronto i decided i am not going to wash my make-up off anymore before i go to sleep, fuck that with a capital F! this was three years ago-ish and i have kept my promise to myself of passing out with make-up on and smearing my eye make-up around when i am sleeping so i can look like courtney love in the morning when i go for coffee and everyone is like woah totally awesome it’s a rock concert in here paaaaaaaaaaarty!
and so somedays i wake up and i think my hair is amazing-looking and everyone else will think so also and they will congratulate me in the street for sleeping the best way and it stays awesome for a little while until i turn OCD on it and touch it constantly and lie on it and jam it in my ears and so on and then i have a nervous breakdown and have a 5 minute i hate my blond hair rant everyday at 6 o’clock and then i get wasted and think that i love it, wait, what am i saying?
i hate showering because i hate drying my hair afterward and straightening it and if i don’t do that it dries into crackly hippie-hair and then i will have to wear a poncho and play hacky-sack and live in a tree fort and i went to all this silly trouble to growing my hair and being one of those vain long haired girls so i can’t cut this hair off because then more attention will be brought to my fat drunk face if i have short hair again so i am stuck with tatty hair.
tatty is a funny word.
so that is the magical shower curtain that has brought so much joy and enhancement to our lives and i told chris last nite that i bought a new shower curtain and he said did you get the one that’s an atlas so you can feel smart when you are taking a shower and know where bosnia is and then fil said that he wanted an atlas shower curtain and i don’t remember what i said exactly though it was probably something bitchy and my tone was probably defensive and i don’t think that any of the words matched together properly, come to think of it.
so now that there has been discussion over an atlas shower curtain and the potential of one we can cut up the disco dick tease one (credit MG) and make matching trench coats out of it.
and then we can slam shopping carts into the back of fancy cars in wal-mart parking lots but maybe we’ll save that for valentine’s day.
i was like yo cid what’s up biotch and he is like nada raymi don’t be messin’ and i was all dude it’s hard to rock a rhyme and he said true enough though i like to kick it oldschool with the beebop and the rocksteady etcetera and i said oh ninja turtles, DOPE! and then he complimented my sweater and said it was tight because he is the jay-z of cats.
i even called my dad about the shower curtain because we rock this fishes one and it is like you are showering in heaven and i wanted aimee to experience that too at her new apartment but i didn’t bother getting the full name of the place where my dad got the fish one and speaking of my dad he called me yesterday all concerned because someone made a swastika on our front lawn in the snow and so he stamped it all out but then yesterday before my brother and i leave the house, brotherraymi decides to make a new swastika in the snow as a joke on my dad and i told him not to but he did it anyway and so my dad calls me again saying that another swastika was on the lawn in the snow and this time closer to the house and there is a conspiracy against us and i felt really bad and said that it was brotherraymi who did the second one and we had nothing to do with the first incident.
yesterday me and aimee bought shower curtains and now our lives are complete. the one i got makes you feel like you are at a rave when you take a shower. it is electric blue green something and see-thru and it was 5.88 and came with matching shower rings and it was a good deal and it came from wal-mart. yes, i went back to wal-mart. first we went to home depot but their shower curtains were too retarded for words. there was a black leather one. and i wanted it. but, you know, it seemed way beyond necessary however i like the idea of having an obnoxious shower curtain very much so.
too bad it was sixty bucks.
ok so we leave home fucko for wal-mart after soaking ourselves up some blue collar and take it down a notch and even bought a 50 cent pop on our way in and because it was a during the day visit to wal-mart i felt ok about it and the people working there with their vests on have lots of flare on ‘em like jennifer aniston does in office space on her uniform.
ok so we are looking at shower curtains and we are getting mad because there are too many to choose from and we spent at least a half hour choosing, well, aimee did anyhow because there were too many cute/obnoxious/tacky things to look at and aimee was opening all the packages and leaving them everywhere without putting them back together and i started being a mom and she said that’s why they get paid the big bucks to clean up and so on and then part of a display fell on her head and i suggested filing a lawsuit but we didn’t feel like it so we looked at the ghetto underwear and i almost bought a six-pack of panties but i didn’t i bought two pairs of tube socks for two bucks each and felt great for the rest of the day about it.
then we went to the supermarket after watching oprah and got on each other’s nerves because this guy was buying all of the bread in the entire universe and he was in the express lane and aimee had to jet and i was like dood i had to get eggs, i let you borrow napoleon dynamite SHUT UP and this smarmy rich lady behind me was all annoyed because she had bad hair and a long older woman jacket on and i was showcasing super cool style + youth and taking longer on purpose to take my sweet mula out of my pocket to pay.
we watched gia last nite because it was on television for free. i had never seen it before. angelina jolie did not look seventeen years old. lots of horniness was going on and then it got all sad and disease-like. too bad she had awful hair. the part when she walks into that model agency fil looked at me and said are you picturing yourself walking into an agency and winning them over and i said nooooooooooo but inside my head i was saying yessssssssss!
anyway
back to television because i have something extremely important to discuss
you know that certain feeling that the tv is on in a room when you are doing something else like say you’re on the internet for three hours straight and you haven’t looked over your shoulder or moved or anything but then you come back to reality and sense that the tv might be on and you can’t remember if it is actually on or if you turned it on earlier so you sit there thinking hmm i am going to make an educated guess about this matter and before i turn around i am going to have the right answer in my head regarding the television being on or not because the room has that “television is definitely on” vibe to it and so you turn around and look and the tv isn’t on and you are like what the fuck, that’s strange, i really thought it was on that time.
ok so i cracked and went to the casino afterall and got shitty and my mum won a lot of sweet mula and me and brotherraymi got bitchy toward her because she was being stingy and he was like if i won that much money i would be giving at least a hundred to everybody in our party and so we were being bad greedy kids as per usual.
the bathroom smells like diapers and everybody is mean and ugly and old and they walk around clutching their gambling cups and if your eyes look at their cup they look at you like you are going to hell.
man that place is awful.
and of course i won absolutely nothing because i never ever do and if i did i would gamble it all away immediately because i am a manic piece of shit with gamble fever and i like to look like i know what i am doing at all times and i don’t like walking around with a cup of unused coins so i have to lose everything before i feel comfortable in getting up to walk around and find my brother or whomever and then watch him lose more of his money and then we leave and listen to the beavis and butthead experience cassette all the way home because we invented coolness.
brotherraymi said something that was suppose to insult me on the way there and i forget what it was but i made an awesome insult right back at him that i laughed at for maybe ten minutes after i said it because i thought it was so good and he also agreed that it was a good insult and it sort of hurt his feelings and this is what it was:
fil went off to be in his friend’s indie movie thing again. he is wearing a suit and skating around with a hockey stick and driving and having facial expressions so he is going to be the next big star to come out of canada since michael j. fox and i mean it.
last nite on our way back from the disco, fil shoved me down into the snow a hundred times and all these cars were driving past and no one cared that this big tall guy is pushing down some girl and kicking snow in her face and granted i was drunk and laughing but i was also angry at the same time and yes i started all of it though he could have pretend fell down at least once so i could put snow all over him and feel amazing about myself and less angry for having snow down my pants and underwear and in my mittens.
and ps my pants are still wet and he busted all the loose cigarettes that were in my pocket too.
