do you believe in saving the environment?

yes

well why don’t you start by picking up some trash like me?

i cut about a foot of hair off my head and now it looks like i am wearing a bad wig.

i hate my life.

does looking at that make your head explode?

mine too.

we’ve been playing burnout 3 all day and watching oprah and taking turns crapping and walking around in our underwears, me fil and aimee, it is raining outside and the apartment is hot and womblike and i feel like never going outside again but then i change my mind. i feel stir crazy. i need a fucking job. i’m going to be a nude model for art students i think. they pay you cash and decently i hear. i feel dumber and dumber by the day. i made pretty much everything you can make in my cafepress account. maybe i’ll get a lightswitch plate for every room and sexy pillows of my own stupid face. ick.

when we went to this karaoke party i didn’t know a single person there so i acted as obnoxious as possible and these are some of the things that i said over the mic:

“i’m singing now, LOOK AT ME”

“excuse me where are you going i’m singiiiing.”

“that was funny, i’m funny.”

letmeonsurvivor

if ian gets on i will explode and be insanely jealousy though he would deserve it.

that dress is funny and makes my waist look gigantic.

anyway, this woman in england has been calling and i have missed all of her calls. she wants to interview me for this british film documentary about my pussy farting article. farticle. she found me when she was doing research for this piece on women’s relationships with their vulva. i hope she flies me to england or something.

i went to look at that apartment and it was pretty decent but i don’t think i will get it because i am not a nerdy student with glasses and bad hair. le sigh.