oh and it’s ok about all those gaylords who say nasty shit about me here cos they all live in those useless provinces like alberta and sasquatchewan. thank you.

sorry guys

i fucked up my toe last nite and i think i broke/sprained/somethinged it because when i walk i feel like i am going to fall over and i trip over this part of my toe that seems useless and bends back and forth too easily. i kicked the baseboard heater in the bathroom by accident and got the sharp corner of it and my toe split open and turned black and blue and bloody. guuuuuuh!!!!!!!

why am i so retarded?

i just took the bandaid off it and it looks all pussy and gangreney(sp?).

i fucking hate my hair and i am tired of being out of shape and i am not saying this to fish for compliments and the like and i don’t even want to hear the wah wah raymi you’re not fat bullshit it’s just how i feel. i totally have body dysmorphia though right now i know for a fact that i am nowhere near as thin as i was last summer. fuck this blog is turning into one of my gay journals from high school.

i am going to blowdry my hair now and see how i can hack away at it.

i think i am gonna cut my hair off some more cos obviously i like fuckin’ with a good thing. i want to go the route of insanely fucked up hipster hackjob mullet whatever. last nite i dreamt that i shaved half of my head and the other half was kind of long and it looked great.

last nite fil and i drank a whole bottle of vanilla stoli with orange juice and played burnout 3. i feel bad about the stoli cos i was kind of the istigator, fil wanted to save it for the weekend but i was all whispery munchkin voice can i have a drink? and the rest is history.

then of course about midnite i decided to cook all of the pasta in the entire universe and concoct a mystery ketchup parmesan pataks sauce which was actually quite good and fil had already passed out in bed and i woke him up and made him eat some of it.

i’m tired of being criticised by douche bag fuckheads for everything i post here. fuck you, you’re not paying me and this blog is free so shut your fucking mouth. i don’t come over to yours and cause shit amongst the three people who read your blog. i don’t mean to sound whiny but seriously i’ve been doing this long enough and have gone through enough bullshit where i feel i shouldn’t have to be taking this crap anymore. people will say oh well when you put yourself in the public eye you will be scrutinised and picked apart. who says joe nobody has the right to give his two cents everyday when his opinions were never asked of him.

i feel like taking comments down because i hate so many people right now but i won’t.

i’m probably pre-menstrual.

From : Julián Alejandro López de Mesa Samudio
Sent : August 24, 2005 5:01:11 AM
To : parkdaleraymi@hotmail.com
Subject : I liked your Blog, not your book

Hi

My name is Julian Lopez de Mesa and I am from Colombia (yes, South America). Casual web browsing at 4:30 am directed me to your blog (blogs?). I generally hate blogs and bloggers because they all seem to think that what they say is really interesting when it isn’t. Anyway, for some reason yours seems to be different. I liked what I read. Your literary stuff, on the other hand…well….it has potential…but….but…I mean its all over the place. Trust me: You need to focus.

I don’t even know why I am writting this. Maybe it’s that finally the graveyard shift is getting to me or something. Anyway -again- you do look like someone with whom one can actually have a conversation in Canada – Maybe I am wrong though

Cheers

Julian

this is my impression of a fat naked boring slob.

for some reason yesterday my right ear completely clogged up and so i was half deaf and it really fucked with my equilibrium and i totally sucked at megatouch though luckily i regained my hearing by the time we rented the ring two which is shit your pants scary so much so that fil told me to fucking shut up and relax when that sumara chick is crawling up the well after the chick and then when it was over fil called my cellfone and pretended to have a seizure in the office closet but by this time i was pretty pissed off with him so it wasn’t scary. he turned off the lights and locked me in the office and then locked himself in the bathroom and i turned into a suckybaby and hid under the covers and whimpered.

what a gay.