i remember once we were all shooting junk in this sleezy hotel room in anaheim and this whore that was with us had veins that were so collapsed she had to get in the bathtub to make them pop up before she could hit herself up and we finally got her off and she fucking od’d and died right there in the tub danny and lissa dragged her across the street and put her behind the dumpster and we were still in the hotel room getting loaded when we heard the sirens of the ambulances coming to take her away
i was probably about the same age you are now at the time and i am probably the same age that your father is now
last nite before the pubdezvous we went to brian and kat’s house to get wasted at their basement bar and play this poor man’s version of NTN where fil and i screamed in each other’s faces and got very competitive. yes a good time was had by all.
“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!! oh what? we got that one right? ok.” hug hug.
then off to the pub where this drunktard birthday guy was tossed out and pretty much ruined everything for his buddies and i of course had to run out and smoke to watch the bitchfest and give my ten cents worth of what i think are amazing ‘disses and then i went to the bathroom and thought of all this other stuff i should have said like, insult the guy’s oversized shirt, yeah i know, fucking brilliant.
then a dear old friend i haven’t seen in years shows up and i was happy to see that her face was fatter and then i said a bunch of unintelligible stupid shit and she didn’t even say bye to me when she left.
i was just going to step out to get something to eat from the restaurant next door but i think that it might be on fire right now. there’s a firetruck parked outside. too bad. it’s the only place i can go in town which isn’t bar-style where i wouldn’t feel like a complete fucking loser if i ate by myself.
i just cannot eat alone out in public, you have to make this big showy act of not seeming completely anxious and nervous and it’s like your being aloneness makes everyone notice you ten times more and the fact that i will look like the token strange fucked up girl with problems doesn’t help much.
it’s probably a good thing that the place is on fire.
the quadriplegic twelve wrote a song about me and it is the best song ever because part of it goes like this: shwa malooba meh meh! it is called raymi the minx.
they gave me their cd and signed it. the one guy in the band is the dude who made those raymi comics and my banner as well.
look at this friends! you are fully allowed to buy me one! fil said he will stick it in the freezer when he goes to work in the morning but i don’t care i have lots of love to give and i want to give it all to a bioengineered friend! apparently they’re at that iodine and arsenic place beside the dun right inn right now!!!!
i’m hoping today isn’t going to be another all about fil day – he’s just left to have winter tires put on his new girlfriend. we might go up to the cottage. it’s ridiculously warm today. i’m trying to think of anything obnoxious that i did last nite. ?? well there was suppose to be guacamole on my nachos and it wasn’t ’til i got through them that i told dave (who is also as retardedly wasted as i am) about the guacamole and he’s like well obviously you should send them back and i was like I KNOW I AM NEVER COMING BACK HERE EVER and he was all BLESS YOUR HEART.
ok it was funny at the time because i am at this bar at least 5 times a week.
then i got all these babes hooked on porno hunt and they were all no don’t leave us we neeed your help and i’m all hey ladies i gotta smoke but before i leave…
bleep bloop blop beep.
and they’re all WOW you are INCREDIBLE.
then i felt smart about myself for ten seconds.
fuck i can’t wait to move so i can write about playing megatouch in other bars.
but wait, earlier i ran all the way to the liquor store to try and make it before 6 and it felt like my ankle was going to explode cos i guess i haven’t had to run for a very long time and so i get there and see that they don’t close ’til 8 so i exploded through the doors out of breath and sweaty and went YAH CHRISTMAS HOURS, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT! WORD!
and there were three tiny old ladies in cardigans looking at wine and a bunch of other respectable looking people milling about and i felt like flava flav and how everyone thinks he’s too embarassing to live and in his mind he thinks that they are thinking that he is really fucking cool but i was flava flav the moment the epiphany struck for him and he finally realised how much of a joke he is.
i stumbled across your blog, and being the nobody i am i would assume you have deleted this already. if you haven’t, stay there, where ever there is for you, because you have it, something that other people covet, something that other people don’t have and it pisses them off. now i sound like a fucktart, anyway, thats that.
