we dragged samir out to karaoke and i BROUGHT DOWN THE HOUSE and when i say house i mean WORLD. there’s this dude there who considers these karaoke nites to be “shows” and he brings a suitcase full of hats and masks and sunglasses and it’s like awww i love that guy i even said over the mic when i was singing PIERRE I WISH YOU WERE MY DAD meanwhile he is doing the running-man and i am singing a heartfelt rendition of come together, awesome, fully.
i spent ten minutes talking to sarah who has big hair who is pretty and listened to everything i had to say about blogging even when i began to ramble on in foreign languages pretty much and was all bla bla ego bla bla ME bla bla blargh EMAIL ME LEAVE ME COMMENTS STREAM OF CONSCIENCE BLOGGER EXTRAVAGANZA I CREATED THE INTERNET!
sarah was like i feel you mang and i was like WORD.
January 28, 2006
raymi and fil jam COME TOGETHER
i’ma singa this song tonite at karaoke and fil is going to touch his balls and wail on his air bass guitar.
dude.
raymi says:
what did u guys do when we left
sodasamson says:
after you left there was a fucking stabbing on the patio at the shoe
sodasamson says:
and I was a witness
sodasamson says:
and had to talk to the cops all drunk and shit
sodasamson says:
and tell them about the dude that knifed the other guy
raymi says:
WOAH
raymi says:
did we see the dude ?
raymi says:
was there a lot of blood
raymi says:
man i am a good cook
raymi says:
fil is calling u he needs to hear the story first hand cos he is a detective
raymi says:
this means that we are cool people because we hang out in rough bars where people get stabbed
sodasamson says:
I’m kidding
raymi says:
WHAT
sodasamson says:
sorry it took me so long to tell you about my extravagant lie but I went downstairs to do laundry
raymi says:
i already had this conversation cut and pasted into my blog
sodasamson says:
I got some street meat and then went home
sodasamson says:
haha
raymi says:
fag
raymi says:
our friendship is over
sodasamson says:
hahahahaha
sodasamson says:
hahahahahahahahahahahha
sodasamson says:
I was being sarcastic
raymi says:
oh yeah WHAT FRIENDSHIP
sodasamson says:
hahahahahaha
sodasamson says:
I can’t stop laughing
sodasamson says:
well if our friendship is over
sodasamson says:
…
sodasamson says:
I guess I’ll just hang with Phil
raymi says:
fine and you guys can take turns massaging each other’s thighs
sodasamson says:
well now I can introduce him to all those pretty girls that I told him about
raymi says:
pretty hags
sodasamson says:
did you call the courier
raymi says:
no
raymi says:
you were serious?
sodasamson says:
yeah
sodasamson says:
I’m hungry
raymi says:
i could do that and u pay when it gets there
sodasamson says:
can you come over and clean my kitchen and then cook me food
raymi says:
tho u may as well order real food?
raymi says:
can you go fuck yourself
sodasamson says:
can you be nice to me???
sodasamson says:
!!!
raymi says:
SAMIR WE ARE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE REMEMBER
raymi says:
also u tell fil about pretty girls?
sodasamson says:
okay well I’ll remember that we’re not friends tonight… when you’re asking me for shit!
raymi says:
ahahhahaaa
raymi says:
asking you for what
sodasamson says:
baaaahahaha
raymi says:
beer? whatever i can go blow someone and get a 24
my favorite television show is 7th heaven and fil likes it too, it’s predictible and too easy to make fun of.
“hey preacher boy nice wheels you missed the party it was LAST NITE!”
“Dad…thanks.”
Last nite we were walking towards Spadina and there was a group of twenty dudes all loud and rude and i say to fil hey look are those guys me? yes he says. one hoofs a big clear garbage bag full of bottles into the air at us and it lands right at my feet and one goes OH YEAH THAT WAS SOOOOO CLOSE! and i yelled YEAH THAT WAS SO COOOOL GUYS! and we’re walking now in the opposite direction and they realise what i said and how it was not NOT sarcastic and one yells back AW COME ON YOU’RE WEARING A BROWN JACKET!
nice burn dingus. sorry i don’t wear t-shirts for the three block walk to the shitty university bar i frequent in winter.
best most smartest video of me and jen ever.
January 27, 2006
andrea inspired this post.
i love science, in grade 6 we had to invent something that actually did something useful and all these morons made elaborate unnecessary inventions to pop balloons for example and i just took a thumbtack and slammed it into the back of part of a wooden baseboard, walked into the room with two garbage bags full of red balloons and popped every single last one and pointed at this one girl and said TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER whose invention for popping balloons didn’t work and she always hated on me and competed with me for some reason and i got the best mark in the entire class. oh yeah and we had a whole month to work on it and i just did mine the nite before and the hardest part only was locating a thumbtack from somewhere in my house, my report was very smart-assy too. pfft. one girl was crying and freaking out and hyper-ventilating about the project the week before even.
i got the best marks from presentations, i waved my hands around a lot and cracked jokes and made fun of people and the teacher and people were like YOU ARE A GENIUS and then i would hand my report in and it would be bare-minimum chicken-scratch full of sarcastic condescention and the teacher would be all THUMBS UP and sometimes she would read my paper to the class only to make everyone feel stupid compared to me, i totally dug that shit. we went to ontario place to watch this movie about the rainforest and another one about , i dunno, animals and tribes who cares and i wrote this smarmy report on the rainforest one about no one caring and the destruction and bla bla and she read it and only mine cos everyone else wrote about flowers and how cool the movie was because it was like bird’s eye view type shit like you were flying oh right the other one was about volcanoes, pfft. anyway, i was a deviant asshole cos i knew to score marks was to a) suck up b) write about something no one else is writing about c) make everyone feel guilty
usually the first month of every class i spent being a model and moral student, being polite doing my work, being nice and then being granted special privileges and entering enrichment and spending the last 5 months of the year grossly slacking off to the point where the teacher could do nothing about it because they would not want to be outed on their poor judgement of my “over-achievingness” ways.
putting me in enrichment along with the other smart kids was the biggest mistake ever. you get three smart kids together in the library in grade 7 and in grade 8, unsupervised, do you think they will do any work? our geography project was so terrible, the bristol board drawing of whatever country it was we had was only half colored in, like i started coloring in russia and just like, stopped, so there were long marker strokes of pink across it and the rest was all white. for other countries the color we initially used just ran out, the mark we received was vastly lower than our peers not even in enrichment, ha!
the majority of our time was spent discussing funny movies and comedians and then one guy hacking into the school’s administration files on the computer and having his computer privileges revoked so i ended up having to type out the entire project and said FUCK THIS I AM WORKING ALONE.
we use to send hate mail to random companies using his dad’s computer and one fishing company wrote back to his dad saying SOMEONE WROTE TO ME SAYING I HAVE A SMALL DICK AND I SHOULD STOP FUCKING MY SISTER… his dad was not impressed.
obviously i am doing everything in my power to not do laundry.
ew look how skinny i was
maybe i should threaten SUICIDE that’s the ultimate i love you phil, i think.
raymi | Homepage | 01.27.06 – 4:26 pm | #
i HAVE TO GO.
it’s FOR WORK so i can PAY THE RENT.
if it was optional I WOULDN’T GO.
px | Homepage | 01.27.06 – 4:29 pm | #
sure sure “have to go”…
kalipornia | Homepage | 01.27.06 – 4:31 pm | #
TAKE ME WITH YOU THEN LOVER!
raymi | Homepage | 01.27.06 – 4:35 pm | #
