this is what it feels like to get older when you are a girl.
you realise that everyone is way stupid but you are fine with it and you begin to like girls more and hate them less it’s like your uterus’ are communicating and hugging each other and so it’s like one big vagina party like there are vaginas on your shoulders and you are all knitting each other nice scarves and when they leave you are like oh here is a, i dunno, button, oh and a hat. I LOVE YOU I HAD FUN BYE!
when you are younger it’s only pretend like that cos when one vagina leaves you are all whispering about her.
ew i just called a vagina a her.
anyway, you become a little less cynical in a lazy kind of way, you still think the same scornful thoughts but at the end of the thought you go HA HA to yourself and move onto something else. unless you are like 60 and set in your ways and you are a witch.
you have lots more clothes.
it’s hard to tell the difference between someone who looks 18 and 24.
anything else?
oh you think about marriage and babies. i haven’t thought about babies yet but i think about marriage and i told fil he has til i am 25 cos i won’t be a spring chicken forever!
you dress older, you go to bars less and feel ok about it (i’m not exactly at that point yet). you save your money (i am not at that point yet either).
a fun getting older moment when you’ve had a few is giving “advice” to your friend who is a bit younger or maybe even older but equally as inebriated as you are and you have absolutely zero experience in what you are saying but you feel like you do because you are OLDER.
you get less embarassed so you do gay things like sway your arms softly to a GNR song and fall into chairs and tables in front of the entire universe.
i think i am going to start a new blog for the ten-thousandth time and it will be called the cat update blog and i will document every little thing that happens between me and the cats. for example: i went to the kitchen to get some water and the cat was lying on the floor and looked at me. two hours later i turned on the television and the cat yawned.
thrilling news, i know.
someone asked how that autistic girl story ends and if she was faking it.
she stabs the guy in the hand with scissors and then they go for a drive and he drives them both off a cliff and they die.
yes my one meal a day diet is working. i have lost a few lbs and i feel like i look a bit slimmer i at least feel better and happier about my body and also my boobs grew so nice one all around! throw in a few no drinking days in there and it works way better. yesterday i ate a spicy beef patty and then a tiny bit of cheese hours later and 6 coronas.
i am meeting with sweaty hermit in a half hour. we have never met before. when i first learned about her i thought she was a he. you are allowed to be jealous. we are going to meet in a dark alley and make zero eye-contact and get pissed.
in other big news my tits are humonguous. does that happen when you get a new iud?
ps. we beat katamari last nite and it unlocked a level where you roll up 1 MILLION roses and you can save it and play the next day where you left off excuse me while i pack the bong and see you next month.
