when i was 4 i think, me and shawn were at the park and all these punks were there and one dude had his head up his girl’s shirt and saw me staring and frozen in shockedness and he said hey kid come here and my brother had already took off on me and left me and other dudes were circling me in the sand and i was too scared to go down the slide kuz it was burning hot metal and i was wearing shorts and the girl was laughing and laughing at me and so i fuckin’ finally beat it the hell out of there. thanks shawn for protecting me.

and this other time lisa and i ran away from this dude in a pick-up truck by the park behind her school behind her house and he said hey girls where are ya going off to is it time for dinner? and my flip flop came off when i was running and lisa was like just leave it come on and we went and told our brothers. she said that dude always hangs out by that park.

lisa’s brother brett was walking down the street a few years later and a van came cruising by and the side mirror boffed his head and now he is mentally retarded for real.

i really wanna do it right now but bf is asleep on the couch so i am uploading pics like a m effer and wearing his jogging pantaloons and the braid in my hair fell out so now it is just a boring ole ponytail. le sigh. the upstairs bathroom someone vomitted all over it so it is out of service and i am too fat to go down there and urinate on my thigh. well whatever i want another old lady smoke again a la chemo the paul that somofabitch i know what it feels like to be filmed nonstop and the feeling of accelerated talkingness i am so smart we are so smart let us say everything smart we know for this a legacy and snippet of cool before everyone catches on to documentaries being the new black. chemo you rule the school you oldskool fool.

i wore the sleaziest white trash of short denim skirts in the world well more like a denim headband and i was sloppy in my sitting and covering of privates and the whole bar smelled like my vagina.

i am so totally different than everybody else in the world and i sit there waiting for something not lame to happen except i am the only lame happening so everything gets wrecked and some loser douchebag runs after me when i leave the pub to write down my number but i am too mean and pretty to care so i get in the cab and whiz away.

pinchy wake up.

that jc chasez song is wicked.

too bad he looks like a tool.

today im going to wear old man shoes with a skirt. we’ll see how it turns out.

yesterday was ass-hot. today it is not nearly as ass-hot as it was yesterday.

there is a new feather thing on my bed it is like sleeping in a marshmallow now.

i think about it sometimes.

tonite is the south park episode when timmy goes back in time.

i think we’re going over to chemo’s.

ya something like that.

chemo is a fake irishman.

i stepped on a baby bird.

fucking hot today. like canada whats the deal with hot? make up your mind.

i was taking a blythe picture and angelo pulled the string on my bikini and i was like fuck it and took the picture anyway taking my time with my triangle breasts all there and these three dinkusi were across the peir, fishing, watching. whups.

it was chemo’s birthday well tomorrow and i gave him a letter and a voucher for fries and made him feel weird. i do that a lot. make people feel weird.

fuck i even make myself feel weird.

anyhow, we got all liquored in the street and i lied down sideways on the bench but only for a minute.

the bathroom in the park smells like chlorine.

there’s my neice. she is almost 6. she is exactly like my brother and sometimes me. when she comes over i put make-up all over her and then jesse gets mad and then i just put on more. neice got caught stealing and didn’t get in very much trouble kuz she’s so damn cute. i tried to tell her, look, you’re not always going to get away with shit like this and she wasn’t listening. i was walking around my room looking for a towel or a sock and then we started talking about stickers.

so i get a call at quarter to 7 am from gopi regarding the email i sent about the hip hop commercial and the pay is super dirt but like who calls before it is even 7 in the morning? meh. so i dunno. i gotta learn more details about the whole damn thing and see if it’s for real. the dude said i get to keep the uber professional demo and like pass it around to others but who is interested in seeing that?