next morning awesomeness. i told fil i didn’t feel like going home yet from the backseat and he dropped me off anyway and i got crabby annoyed and went in and sent an abrasive text message and passed out immediately. i guess i had visions of bars and megatouch and screaming in my head i wanted MORE.

ok so me and wainbows hung out last nite. i bullied her into being my friend after reading her email about dreaming about me and so she agreed finally after months and months of bla bla blaaaing to each other about being super cool best friends and so i said look i haven’t showered today even so don’t outdo me on the hotness and she said ok fine but then she shows up with brand new hair and a cool outfit and i felt like a ninny at the end of the bar waiting to discuss popsicle stick formations.

so we told each other a bunch of blackmail gossip which was pretty interesting. i met her at rivoli because it was pretty early and all the other places weren’t open yet and i walked into this office party nonsense of nerdoids playing pool but there was all this fancy catered food and so i ate a ton of it because i have been dieting the past two days which means salad only and so i’ve been walking around going I’M STARVING every three seconds and thinking about eating cows with cowsauce with chicken gravy and so on so free food belonging to office nerds all for me equals eating at nite in a bar doesn’t count and it will not affect your pretend diet.

there was a group of people beside us who very interested in us but kept to themselves and wainbows didn’t tell me ’til we were leaving that they were whispering about us the entire time and i wanted to stay and watch them watch us but we had been there long enough and she wanted to eat pizza even though there was all that free food to eat. so she ate pizza and then we went to the bovine and you can smoke in the back now. incredible. i called fil and matt and bragged about it and then they showed up because they were jealous. anyway before they came there was a group of three guys all staring at us and we knew that they were going to come over and try and make us their girlfriends and one by one they did except for the one guy who is on that pimp my ride show who is in town because he is working on one of the raptors’ cars i don’t give a fuck.

so dude on the right with the scraggy hair is the pimp my ride guy and i took this photo not knowing this and the guy in the middle is all excited and comes right over and says so you recognized him (he said his name which i don’t remember) and i said recognized who? and he goes oh ok nevermind and leaves and then douchebag on the left with the drink in his hand comes over and starts bragging about his pimp my ride friend and i’m like dude awesome for you and i told him we were prostitutes and i was very mean and he still wouldn’t leave and then fil and matt walk in and i go that’s my boyfriend right there and he is still there and he hands me his card and says he writes for the metro and also sells condos and then pimp my ride comes over along with other friend and it was one giant circle of gayness and then wainbows left it was so gay and then we went home and pimp my ride guy felt uncool and well, that’s toronto for you.

i also told the guy that I wrote for the metro and that i sold condos. everything he said i copied it. the lighting in the bovine makes you look super amazing i guess. i have no idea why he was bothering to talk to me. i dressed homeless.

wainbows is awesome.

more later i just woke up kind of sort of now i just have to upload some smarmy pictures about last nite.

second installation of me giving love tips. wheee.

here is me and craig halloween of 2002. craig is that big pile of hair and leaves and all this other junk. it was the first time i ever tried mushrooms. we were walking to this party and it wasn’t even halloween. it was two nites before. the big friday. anyway, all of a sudden i start laughing like a maniac and everything is funny and we get to this party and we are trying to all fit up the stairs because well, look at craig’s costume and then here is what noel’s costume was:

and we’re all fucked up and making all this retarded noise and i finally make my way into the main room where these people are sitting politely on the couch watching television and then i exclaim that they are all boring and left the room and then we hung out on the porch the entire time because we were so retarded and i smashed a beer bottle and this guy is standing in the glass in bare feet.

i lost the blunt too and said that i didn’t ever have it because i couldn’t remember craig giving it to me and i had it in one of those ridiculously annoying army pouches but i didn’t know it was there and then everyone said that i ruined halloween because of that missing blunt and i was screaming that i didn’t know where the fuck it was so they were piling on top of me going through all my pockets and couldn’t find it and i said SEE i told you i don’t fucking have it.

noel + craig in their retarded costumes of evil

and then about a month later when noel was in thailand craig and i were dirtbags and bored and drugless at my place in l’il italy and craig brings up the blunt story again and i am like whatever fuck off and he sees my army shit hanging off the back of my door and goes you know what raymi, i bet that blunt is in one of these pockets and so he opens one and THERE IT WAS and my eyes fell out of my head i was amazed and craig lunged at me like he was going to punch me he was so mad but then he was so happy because we had a big hash blunt the size of my arm to smoke.

it was such a gossip bomb having found it that craig had to call noel’s voicemail and leave a message immediately even though we knew he was in thailand.

julia was a vagina for halloween. she had a big hairy gorilla type suit and an oldschool life preserver on her front that was painted pinkish and it was incredible.

igor won a raymi banner off heroine girl‘s carnival of smut site. she emailed me and said that igor had 710 dollars and had won a banner from the auction and i wrote back going WHAT you made 710 dollars of real money off me!??!?!?!

then i realised it was pretend money and he busted his ass for the points. so you can go look at his banner that i drew with my eyes closed.

overheard the best and most nerdiest conversation ever yesterday at the comic book figurine collection store. it was just too much. this one lispy talking napoleon dynamite moon boots wearing guy was talking about how he has seventeen email addresses and he is writing a comic and then he said the 4th and 5th seasons of the simpsons were the best and bla bla i had to duck behind a shelf and cover my mouth and hide my eyes because they were bugging out from i can’t believe what i am hearingness and the store proprietor was egging the kid on more and more and we had to leave because i couldn’t take it anymore.

i’m not trying to be mean here (yes i am) and think that the conversations i have are superior and more fun to overhear though COME ON, who talks that way and is 100 per cent serious?

it was probably the best thing for novelty’s sake that i have experienced since that mullet-headed woman screaming about polish people saying her daughter was bad.

fuck.

today getting sandwiches i had to listen to the sandwich maker lady sing 80’s songs to all the old ladies in line with me who were digging it and there was nobody i could roll my eyes to.

excuse me everyone in this restaurant but do you realise how lame this is right now?

i was just wondering if i was the only person who knew about this.

yeah ok i’m banned, fine.

it was worth it.

have you seen the metallica doc. yet? it is 4 hours full of whiney bitchy tackiness and everyone sucks. lars sucks because he is lars. hetfeild sucks because he goes to russia for two weeks and shoots a bear for no reason and then goes to rehab for 6 months. their producer is a pushover. they have a rock band therapist who follows them around everywhere and gets paid 40 grand a month. anyway, ble ble metallica rules i know but still, seeing behind the scenes ruins everything. oh and it was also pretty boring. and the way they write their lyrics is just laughable.

before that we went to aimee/derek’s and played with derek’s cat and snake and it creeped me out. i took pictures.

i just bought underwear. my hair is retarded. band practise tonite. we threw rocks in the lake earlier and found a pair of jeans with flowers on them that belong to a little girl and it was peculiar. oh and we found a dead duck but half of its body was missing. i threw a snowball at fil’s crotch by accident and then he hit his head on this low-hanging porch. and i laughed.

i am CRAZY FOR ANIMALS.

i told fil we should go to the humane society and bring back a cat for my dad and for rocky and to just, you know, do that and fil said no.

and my dad would probably be pissed off about it.

though i like to think that everyone would love a new housefriend as much as i would right now and be the opposite of pissed off hopefully and then i could just keep bringing over animals, that would be neat.

fil said that rocky’s life would turn to shit if i brought another cat into his domain.

so i’ll have to get a dog then.

which would be completely retarded because i don’t know anything about dogs because i have never owned one before and then it will take over my entire life and then i will live in the hills the end.