ok now for my millionth post today. we’re going to see metric tonite for the fiftieth time. yawn. i’m pretty bored of metric. yeh yeh new album out soon tra la, emily haines comes off as annoyingly bitchy and not even in a hot WOW SHE IS SUCH A BITCH kind of way that makes it cool, she’s just a straight-up pretentious seeming BIOTCH. and all the guys are mesmerized by it. fil calls her mrs. philogynist and every other girl singer out there as well. i’mma just stand in the back and wobble around drunk. we got guest list so that’s good. oh and jason collett is opening so that is good also. i have so much energy i need to go longboarding RIGHT NOW.

nolw says:

i get this junkmail. hourly.

nolw says:
“
Imagine a new huge D1ck full of energy. Just huge.
Smash the ladies like crazy!
If your a lady, take a “monster!”
“

raymi says:

ha!!!

nolw says:

smash the ladies!

nolw says:

like crazy!

raymi says:

i love it

raymi says:

that makes me want to go thru all of my spam and make a book out of it

nolw says:

dude, youre going to like the zine im gonna try putting together

nolw says:

anyway

nolw says:

i have to work

raymi says:

then work, you are the one who messaged ME

nolw says:

ha

raymi says:

dont play that shit on me ever again

le sigh i am bored. maybe i will vacuum and smile and eat licorice whips and later buy some moonpies and penny whistles.

yesterday we played asshole and i won every game and they were mad because they had just taught me how to play and i’m all like BURN and you must be very annoyed because i am winning right now etc and so on.

yesterday we went drunkboarding for old time’s sake and i even knelt down and bombed down a slopey hill and didn’t land on my chin but at one point i did wipe out and my left hand scraped against the ground cos my jeans were too tight and i was locked in this crouching position and this little surfer-hair looking kid watched me do it and was impressed i could tell. i like it when 8 year olds think you are the coolest. everytime we passed this one house these drunks in their garage went WOOOOOOOOH and YEEEEARRGH. it felt like being on television.

nolw says:

for the first time:

big fucking squid

raymi says:

um isnt that bullshit

nolw says:

nope

raymi says:

squids have been photographed a hundred thousand times before

nolw says:

its the first time a photo has been taken of one in its natural habitat – deep sea water

nolw says:

…as opposed to washing up on a beach

nolw says:

or getting caught in a fishing net

raymi says:

ive seen videos back in the day of them like on discovery

nolw says:

dude

raymi says:

swimming around and shit

nolw says:

giant squid

raymi says:

oh 8 meters

nolw says:

anyway, i guess cnn and the app are lying

raymi says:

haha

raymi says:

shut up

nolw says:

about a squid

raymi says:

so is that like bigger than a car?

nolw says:

8 metres long

nolw says:

30 feet

raymi says:

woah do they eat people

nolw says:

lore says they do, but i dont think so

nolw says:

they suspect there are way massive ones down there

nolw says:

8 metres not being the largest found

raymi says:

wowo

raymi says:

i bet they strangle people to death

nolw says:

check out the little comparison chart on this page: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/2910849.stm

raymi says:

oh my god

raymi says:

but they only swim in really cold water right

nolw says:

yes

raymi says:

ok

nolw says:

theyre pretty sensitive to light, so they hang out pretty deep

nolw says:

imagine getting attacked by one though.

nolw says:

swimming in open water, and just feeling that tenticle slide up around your ankle

nolw says:

that suction, as it gets a grip

nolw says:

and tugs you under

raymi says:

i would faint

raymi says:

or maybe kick it in the face

nolw says:

its face would be 20 feet below you

raymi says:

i would cut its arm off

nolw says:

you wouldnt even see its face, just the “arms”

raymi says:

well i would remove all of them

nolw says:

yes, i could see you swimming around with a knife in your teeth

nolw says:

fishing for dinner

raymi says:

well if i was out in open water for some reason i sure as shit would have a wetsuit on WITH A KNIFE

nolw says:

and a jetski maybe

raymi says:

well whatever

raymi says:

if i was out there id have something sharp

nolw says:

i think i’d let it take me down

nolw says:

i could go for being the first, and maybe only, recorded incident of a person being killed by a giant squid

raymi says:

to its underwater abyss?

raymi says:

yeh but then no one would know

nolw says:

yes, to where the aliens are

raymi says:

that would be fucking awesome

nolw says:

and then i’d get to meet chris elliot

raymi says:

hes not with the aliens

raymi says:

is he?

nolw says:

no, he’s still doing cameos

raymi says:

so how would you meet him down there

nolw says:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0254402/

raymi says:

ok i am aware of his filmography , ur talking osmosis jones?

i know you’re there shredder.