Important update

i have decided that i am going to smoke cigarettes in my room for the evening and it feels very good to do this. I have not taken the white trash pills yet but i will. i will. the cakething is the best and only cakething i ever made. i have icing on my chin and dried caramel in my hair. i hope i turned the gas stove off properly. i don’t want to not wake up tomorrow. i am sad because i have just one beer left.

end of important update.

Today was is and right, feels like, the day without people. i was mega-bored. so i just made a cake – yep. strawberry chips and caramel and vanilla frosting and sprinkly things. i am too proud of it to eat it. it is pretty lopsided though. oh well. i’ll eat it for breakfast tomorrow. i saw Master T at the supermarket. he bought catfood. i also bought another one of them homies from the gumball machine and then this other dude spotted the minx and helped me figure out what to buy and not buy for my cakething. that’s about it. that was my day. oh right i worked. and i made french fries. did laundry. now i am drinking beer and mulling over whether i should take these white trash, get-me-fucked pills.

I don’t even know if the furnace dude came by and you know, i don’t care.

post-script: I found those glow in the dark star stickers on top of the fridge. score!

post-script II: I also noticed that i do in fact have cupcake baking tins on top of the fridge, of course after i made the cake. i kinda wanted to make cupcakes ’cause then i coulda walked around handing them to people and then feeling good about myself and generous.

post-script III: Coolhandluke wears a towel underneath his robe. wtf?

I just realised the furnace people are coming today to service that shit. This means i have to stick around between the hours of 1 and 5. Well i guess it doesn’t really matter ‘cos i know the second they show up i’ll be in the backyard or the bath or whatever and i won’t hear the door. Story of my life.

$10 – pizza money

$80 – cabs

$10 – gift

$4 – breakfast

$55 – army shit

$3 – Burger King

$6.75 – TTC

$15 – gave it away

$35 – more cabs

$126 – jacket

$70 – Honest Ed’s

$6 – Tanning salon

$63 – Hat/scarf

$5.15 – Tallboys

$20 – steak and other crap from KoS

$20 – hair dye shampoo/conditioner

$12 – smokescoffeewater

$8 – sox

$19 – groceries

Where my money has gone over the past month. Well, only the purchases i can remember.

How do i dispose of a huge box of styrofoam puffs?

I’m pretty psyched to see i am sixth on the list when you search for homeless people and there dogs in toronto pics BUT i am more psyched to see that i am the only one who knows when to use “their” instead of “there” or “they’re”

i love my life.

Today it is all about being tired and cranky and wearing halloween costumes all day long and eating stale muffins and grease and pizza and not walking for longer than three minutes. i think i am in love with the sound of jet engines and fingernails on chalkboards. Unnngh… Did you know that i am thinking of opening my own cheesy themed sex hotel? It’s true.

i don’t know what this is all about other than drunken sluts but they linked me so i shall return the favor. Drunkslutsfuckshitcuntwhoreface

i am so sore from last nite. i said so many dumb things. i fell into a prickle bush and scratched my hand. i smashed a beer bottle and this guy came out with no shoes on. watched gummo and felt weird. tried to sleep but couldn’t. tried to buy cigarettes but couldn’t. i was talking to lamp posts and parked cars. i was so hungry. didn’t even make it to the warehouse party. there were so many things i had to tell everyone.

what i did for thanksgiving…

Hmmm. This isn’t as cool as that other drinking song/video but still, it’s ok. You might have a seizure from all the flashing things but then you start to relate to all the images and then everything makes sense. Trust me. the beer song

yes and by the way I am number 1 when you search for classy lazy fat impulsive – what the fuck do you think about that? I think it is a wonderful accomplishment. I do.
Unfortunately, I am only on the seventh page when you search for gross nasty fucked up pictures. Meh. Can’t win ‘em all.

Jamie was drunk last nite and called me at work from New York City. He drank three-hundred margaritas and the girl he was with hit on some guy or other and he jumped in a bush and then ran away. i dunno. i only pretend to be paying attention to people when they speak to me on the telephone around two in the morning. Jamie rules because Jamie makes
HOT FUCKING ART AND PHOTOGRAFFS and there are even some of me. i know i said this before but i don’t care.

I am done sucking your dick now.