i ate a hotdog today. it had ketchup and onion on it. and then i smoked ten thousand cigarettes. and then i watched a movie. it was called die another day. it’s the james bond one. it was tacky. halle barry has big boobs, and she did this backflip and landed in the water and then got onto a boat that just happened to be there. and then other stuff happened. and then i ate some chips and onion dip, but i didn’t eat all the chips and onion dip, i also had a ginger ale.
my dad has a cat named rocky. i call the cat “meow meow”. as i refer to all inanimate objects these days. tomorrow anti goes home. i am sad about this. but i will go to california again. umm… we have to pack his truck tomorrow. i am thinking of changing my medication to zoloft instead of the modern lithium because i am unable to show emotions or feel them properly. the hot dog was actually an itallian sausage. no that’s not a cock joke or a referecnce. did you like that picture of me at the mod club with that union jack thing shirt on? i do. that’s why i am using it again. this is all i have to say for this evening. bye.
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i have what you call writer’s block these days. i just can’t put words together. i don’t know what to tell you. and what to not say. i want to tell you about how i went mad but maybe that is meant for the book. i just can’t wait for things to be not said, hence the blog. hence blogs. tyranny i need to know where my printer is, or where it went. everyone needs a printer.
bye.
I hate you and I love you raymi.
there is something out there for you. you are literally one of the most beautiful individuals I have seen for quite some time and I hate to see you as such. it seems like hell is having its case with many and there is no sign of hope for quite some while. it seems the only thing that can save all of us now is to move into the dreams that we used to have many years back. allow ourselves to lose ourselves but with some knowledge of paths we walked before to prevent further harm. society fucked us all over and this so called generation that we are both a part of has very little choice but to forget about the previous generations and define our own path. being worn thin though doesn’t give us enough energy to enter into battle to go up against the standards other generations have defined. corporations have failed, and the economy had to get rid of certain business structures to make room for some kind of evolution to allow us to exist within it. just like the 1930’s in america, but at least we weren’t as bullheaded as they were. I hate being apologetic but I know you don’t need to know any of this. I’m probably saying this more for myself than for you. why I’m even sending you this email is kind of a mystery but I guess we are drawn to things for reasons beyond us. I guess I want to say this. if the world isn’t behind you, know that in some kind of weird pathetic way, I am. Get up and do some damage sweetheart and make them beg for more.
Good Luck and Good Bye
DRV
people wanna know what i do now, huh. this is it. nothing. boredom, straight-up. i wander around in circles and think about how add i am now and how little of a machine i am now. i dont do rails. i dont do shots. i dont tick i dont tock. i just pace. im on thought police pills ones for bi-polar and sometimes clonazapam if i need to mellow out my nerves. yup. what happened to raymi you wanna know? well send someone over who really wants to know with a bag full of loot and ill tell you, world exclusive premier, how’s about that, huh?
what do people write about when they feel blank. when they are blank.
when there are blanks?
where do people go and how do they get there and can i go too?
self-loathing is merciless but thats what it is right now. sorry. shout outs are fucked, dunno why.
depression is a sickness. an illness of the mind, the soul. it can take you whole. if you let it. there’s a point after which, for a short while, they say, you can’t help but let it. you are powerless.
me skinny in la smoking and drinking. things i don’t do now. le sigh.
guy in cognito
bleep.
Hi,
your articles are very funny, like guffawing at my computer funny, i
think(whocaresright) you an exceptional writer.
yur blog is confusing, i go there for new pics of you half nekked, i
almost feel bad doing it, well comon, I would read some of it but its
like , so hard to read i dont read it, it sounds like alot of inside
jokes anyways. i do read some of it.
rantingandincoherentso hard to make out who you are
if i cant readiticant get to knowyouand why would anyone wastetime
onsomeonewhowont spend some
timepresenting his/her material. Your articles are genius, not that it
takes a genius to figure that out, I am not a genius is what i mean.
I knew this hardcore …bitch… who stabbed me in the back like fifty
times and pulled my heart out of my chest and spat on it and threw it on
the ground and tromped on it, i havent seen her in four or five years.
Its alright, i deserved it i called her out in front of EVERYONe. I
swear i went crazy for at least three and a half years, i amstill not
sure what (is) happen(ing)ed. HA ha ha. Anyways i never told noone
(even though EVERYONe knows) but you since you had the common decency to
share some of yourself to whomever is listening, maybe yuou want some
bakc, though you look like you have enough freinds.
i am not a phyco, holy crap is that the most stupidest thing you could
tell someone? Ya, sure your not.
i just wanted to let you know about your blog format.
Nice talk
Hot pic of me included.
Mike p.
im gonna sell you cats a bunch of jazz that youve probilly seen me wearin in my photos, yep.
id like to retract a few negative statements made in posts. yep. like, all of them. things said in jest sometimes can be read the wrong way, taken very literally, and that sucks. err, sucked. for me. but it’s my oversight, henceforth, i take it back.
i want you to know i’m not blogging for awhile. just because, ok. raymitheminx, the alias, is not the real me. she’s this girl-thing-person who said this, who did that, who lived for a short while and now remains a memory, all the free photos and stuff. from now on you can look forward to audblog sing a long karaoke personalised sing songs from her.
im bored these days. i take my meds. i dont drink and i dont do any drugs whatsoever and i havent for a long while. maybe thats the boredom but hey, i only want to be one ofthe kerouacs who doesnt drink and smoke emself to death by age of 47. i want to live past 20 then 21 and on and on and on.
please enjoy your summers. be happy be wise. be safe. be right. not wrong.
