Holland tunnel vision

Bday flower gift for mum shopping. Ready, set, go. Yee-haw. Queen’s Day is “Like some sort of colorblind St. Patrick’s Day. ” According to ol Jame-bo. He’s right. Was in Amsterdam for it one year.

To find the most perfect flower gift we had to comb through the seven layers of Christmas-not-Christmas garden heaven. I love this country because it was decorated by a five year old on LSD. I uploaded lots of photos so I hope you have your attention span pants on. I sure as hell don’t.

Smoke up baby! I requested that this be fun this time. You should see us grocery shop. Put two people together who have zero patience, it’s funny and like putting dynamite on a dynamite tree.

Xmas here must be ridonkulous.

I knew it was gonna be weird but my expectations were blown out of the water, happily.

Oh hi there.

This camera is amazing. He’s getting another one. He has a technology problem/very good at justifying it. There is one of everything in this house.

Great low maintenance seasonal flowers. Love hibiscus.

Colour is eyeball prozac.

They tried to make me believe that guy (no idea how to spell his name) with the chihuahuas was super spiritual cos he has one of these heads in his living room. My response: silent eye-blinking. This teleported foreigner cannot gauge bullshit, doesn’t have the energy plus I cannot at all picture that guy meditating like at all I don’t know if that’s insulting but it’s funny and that’s good enough for me. BTW culturally they have variations on sayings we have back home.

Witch brooms, not actually witch brooms. For little Dutch potatoes and their teeny farm cottages KaBOOM! ADORABLE.

Okay here is another one. If someone’s talking shit or nonsense they say IS THERE A CAMEL SHITTING IN THE HALLWAY? ahahhahahhaha!!!!!! Like a guy who is always bragging or one-upping, or if my bf is (constantly) talking lots of crap, not really crap but just blabbity blahhing my head off. It’s pure jokes. His dad told me Warhol was sponsored by the CIA and bf’s like omg not that one again. AAHahaha.

There are only so many things I can say about flowers in these captions jeez. Don’t worry I uploaded some of the town we went to afterward.

I feel like jamming these in my eyes though I don’t know about you. Rubbing them on my eyelids and purring like Bambi wtf is wrong with me right now.

This is what dyed carnations try to look like ahhh burn! (Ashton Kutcher voice)

While blogging I multi-task.

What kind of salad dressing should I make tonight? Not adding any more spice to anything my lips are so dry from our morning walk in the park sun + soup lip burn accident.

Diff shade of pink! Swoon.

Closed hundreds of them. Scary exhilarating.

Have video too.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

My nails are now a disaster. Doing them before cooking is pointless.

That deer moved. They have moving animals at the supermarket that make you feel like you are mega drunk still from last night when you’re looking at meats. A panda, a cheetah, slowly move back and forth it is the most confusing thing ever.

This little guy looks like he has a sneaky little secret. I am watching you!

Can’t beat em join em kinda thang. I am waving to my friends.

Who seem to be handling that suicide pretty good.

I feel like some kooky kids tv show has this tree in it, or like several of them and that’s the part when toddlers at home start crying.

No problems there.

Want.

Who even writes on paper anymore? I love paper.

And girly stuff.

And I really need these!

And that kitten brush too lets get out of here.

I love the smell of this. It makes me think someone’s eating cookies. That’s also because someone usually is. I don’t know where he puts all the crap that he eats it is unbelievable.

Guys, it’s about time I told you that this is my house.

You’re going on the internet and there’s just nothing you can do about it.

Going to have lunch here on a sunny day.

That’s right it’s Shetland horses time.

What?

Now you what?

What?

I like your hair.

You mad bro?

Okay more hi-jinx later I got tings ta do. Love Raymes.

The Holland tunnel is in NYC BTW.