i love anti and i feel like i have been neglecting him. he can make me laugh by saying less than 4 words. hi anti!

Dear Douglas Coupland

i’m a substance user or abuser. so what. at least i don’t have blackouts and fall out of windows and i show up to work on a somewhat consistent basis. i have to go home for christmas and do family-type things. i haven’t bought a present for anyone, not even the kids. they’re so spoiled they won’t even notice. all i want this year is a trip to cuba and like maybe, four-hundred thousand dollars and my own karaoke bar. yah.

i haven’t finished reading all families are psychotic yet. i’m sorry. i’m sure the ending is very good. i didn’t like how VICE trashed that book. dopes. they’re total hasbeens. well, some of them. (has-beens? has beens? i need help with spelling and pronouncing certain words and i am not ashamed to admit this).

there is a guy downstairs in my basement bathroom and he is gutting the shit out of the drywall around the tub and making it all fancy. it’s about time. its been neglected for years. the ceiling surely would rot and cave in soon enough. i still haven’t opened the door to my laundry room after i flooded it.

i think a monster lives in there.

bye.

it’s christmas and i figured i should tell you that

youre hot and i love you and forget about what

everyone says. not everyone is going to understand

what youre doing or who you are, but i like to think

that i understand and i love it and if you were here

you would be mine or i would be yours, depending on

who wore the dick that day.

keep canada beautiful.

youre the light of my lust.

xoxoxox

tony

my secret blog

ps coolhandluke is in vancouver right now. we miss him. he has a rap band or something. and is on the radio and making a record? what? i am still mad at him for making me go see that paul barman fag.

FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS SUCK A DICK!

Thanks for coming to the audition, submitting your demo tape and considering MuchMusic as a place you would want to work. We had a look at your application, audition and tape, and while we appreciate your work, it’s not in the Much style we are looking for at the moment. If you wish to send in a new tape in a couple of months please feel free to do so. We wish you the best of luck in your future ventures.