Count Blogula

Um I wasn’t setting out to do a Barbie pose you see I was just feeling my nude nail polish and how it matches my tanned legs. They are tanned, you just can’t see any of it ahaha. The nail polish is called quick sand and we could write an essay on the merits of nude-anything but just take my word for it. Skin is sexy. Emulate skin.

Okay brosephs Raymbo newsletter has just landed on your feet. Prepare to be underwhelmed. Just kidding. Lets see how long it takes for me to write a word in quotations. Tarek, your bag is breathtaking! Thank you.

The funniest thing that happened, lets see. Maybe when one relative catapulted my salad up in the air at the wedding hangover hang in to my lap, the air, the floor, the carpet, the funny. I said thank god it wasn’t pasta (red sauce). It was awesome and not my fault. Things are typically my fault. I almost put my fault in quotations. Okay what else.

Steve made an exceptional speech, sang a traditional Slavic song accompanied by a guy with an accordian that got everyone up and singing then marched over to me, walked me to the middle of the dance floor and kissed me in front of everyone to get the lovely couple to kiss. Dude points. Big time.

I did laundry, got conceited and drunk between wedding and reception. It was some damn good me-quality time lol.

I will spare you from my dance videos. GIANT MAYBE ON THAT ONE.

We’ve been eating risotto and filet mignon since Saturday and I am actually getting skinnier somehow.

I and my table were completely gunned by this point. I came back to a slice of cake that looked like Spy vs. Spy and everyone laughed. At least one person did.

Our next big to-do is Madonna tomorrow night. My mom was texting me about if I had heard of a band called sheep dog. Mom, they’re called THE SHEEPDOGS btw. (that means by the way, by the way). Anyway, no we will not trade Madonna for the sheepdogs. I bet even The Sheepdogs would understand that. Safe travels ma love you.

I have so many clothes. I forget the things I own. It’s cray. Hoarding a pile of awesome clothes is comforting. All women would agree. My mom said she is obsessed with a full closet because it’s what she lacked as a teenager. Aw mom.

Here is what I look like as a teenage moron.

The colour match is uncanny. #hairwizard.

I separated the table centerpiece at Raymbecca‘s and then left them all there like a nice friend. I wish I had some of those flowers back to sit in this sunbeam with myself right about now but no bigs I WILL BE SITTING IN MY VERY OWN HOTEL SUITE TOMORROW I don’t know why I started capitalize-typing that just now maybe it made things more exciting and dramatic. PS. Rent the Vow + The Guard straight away. Dad, The Guard. That one’s for you. Girls who like crying, The Vow is for you. Be cautious if single though.

We are thinking of wearing our wedding outfits to dinner tomorrow night.

Maybe slightly under-dressed for a scooter ride but it was lovely all the same. I guess I’m Harry.

Haha classic. You know I saw this flick in grade 6 in the theatre, us, “the cool kids” it was a crucial moment in my life. Yes, crucial shit can go down in grade six. I was advanced you see and no I am not talking about bee-jays I am simply saying I was in enrichment and hung with the/was the cool kids. Cheel oot.

MMMMM. I thank my goddamn lucky stars each day don’t you worry. Being so thoroughly in love you ought to.

Table 17 is a grand place.

I poured the oil in to a face because I am a witch.

Can you tell which one is horse? Guess who had to finish it.

I like Stevesy’s haircut a lot and I am very relieved there is length there still so he can do his signature wolverine sweep back. Or James Dean. His hair is amazing. I know he’s the one if he has amazing hair. You just can’t go against nature, you can try, but it is futile.

I have some errands now. Madonna tickets. My black milk pants. Amy chose galaxy. I chose Klimnt The Kiss. Pray that they fit right.

I am wearing them to Madonna. Steve is wearing a retro Madonna T-shirt. #dreamdate. We’re going to tan at the hotel tomorrow afternoon if there’s an outdoor pool. See ya!