sarah blue. awesome blogher cohort. we walked into the bodega and a comatose statue of a dude goes, are you twins? uh maybe if you bothered to look us in our faces you’d know the answer to that.

went with it though.

i just bought batteries for my camera and this is where it went down, garbage deco.

there’s my palm trees. gaga for them.

the trek to and fro the convention centre. v close to our hotel. lots of walking. great for the gams.

so that’s downtown san diego proper, the gaslamp district. hotel mecca. tourist gong show holy ground.

we walked in and i said it’s like the home show except shit i actually want.

the girl crawl begins. that’s dee in the maxi dress and this is a terrible picture the old man was too busy talking to me about the cracked lcd than to bother doing a bloody good job haha whoops some hung rage just slipped out.

kid stuff everywhere, food stalls, booze stands HELL YEAH product testing ass kissing girly heaven.

this chick rules. snarky. 13 year old boy sense of humour. has one signature slutty dance move. we’ve been making fun of each other nonstop BONUS we are a trio as her bestie michelle touched down, who i am also in love with now too.

button making!

this is where it got NC-17. just kidz. ha. kidding. omg is this thing on? tap tap.

i’ma stalk that mawfu-a likea panther in the amazon FOR HOURS.

marco trained gordon ramsay and allegedly was the only person to make him cry now, as i have a hard-on for that guy (and anthony bourdain, jamie kennedy, etc) and scary mean dickheads, i have to meet him. i already feel myself chickening out right now though.

mojitos mo problems. i put back two.

have twilight nerds lightened up on the pattinson thing? just look at his face would ya here you delusional twits, also, look how old we look compared to that lesbian beside me.

we partied with the chicks of this stall later in the night, bumped into them at the unicorn party that we didn’t go into because michelle didn’t have her badge and the door guy was a rude prick to us i started crying pointed at my face and said look into my face YOU RUINED MY NIGHT hahah. 70% of the time during a confrontation i get super emotional if i KNOW we are being wronged. michelle was starving, she just flew in, didn’t get her badge in time we tried it was closed and he was so so diva rude. meanwhile a fucking rave was going on behind his head it looked so fun so i stormed in and got michelle three hot dogs a bag of popcorn a big pretzel bag of peanuts a piece of cake and a mustard plus ketchup packet and waltzed on by in my dress, which was actually a shirt and michelle said i love everything about you. i said look dude i have to be in that party right now but i am not ditching my girl here so thank you for that. ughhhsblfhjulsdbiu;B! there was nothing kumbaya about him which is likely why he was chosen to be door duty, to take the wrath of gatecrashers. fort knox here ladies don’t forget your badges.

teen spending, that’s a problem? how about stop giving your kids credit cards or money? that’s retarded and backward i love it!

my niece loves taylor swift. i do too.

there was a time when we had a few cut outs gracing our ecclectic wayne’s world basement where all the kids would come hang and get smoked by me on nintendo, they came from queen video. we had austin powers, steve martin in his silver disco jacket from that televangelist movie he starred in unless i am hallucinating this. we have pictures of them i’ll find them, or my dad can cos they’re at his house. so funny though. we are a film buff family and favoured customers so we called dibs on all their promotional movie crap and THAT is why the independent vendors should always be patronized and shown love, plus we had a family account and i could rent anything i wanted. we had the tommy boy one of david spade and chris farley too. it seemed normal?

my favourite stall. those jars are filled with advil and other women problems-aiding items haha. i am going to raid everything today.

love this. creepy abandoned titanic feeling, or no, the poseidon adventure. i do not exist in reality, i reject yours and choose hollywood’s.

like being in a ship.

how darling is that, intentional?

i know right? dreamy!

thank god there is food everywhere to keep the traveling booze show alive and for once i’m not the only ring leader phewf.

gorge evening.

beauty. why am i blogging through a luncheon right now so stupid. it is my compulsion to do so.

this is torturing me.

i just pout scowled at myself in the mirror over this one.

gorgeous outfits everywhere, lots of fashions, these girls sure turned it out. oh and ps. thanks for everything ford this has been such a peach. tomorrow at the picnic donna said she’d drive my sexy ass around. i can’t wait to introduce her and her gaggle to my coug crew, awesome worlds colliding, such positive female role models and i realized last night that i never really got along with girls my own age, it’s always younger or older, wonder why that is. older women check you while women your own age do it behind your back. Buncha see you next Tuesdays. donna how was dinner?

my mom’s posse last night at the jazz fest. see? they totally belong here.

modern spaceship bocc basil and tomato bites on focc i think. bocc focc do you even know what the hell i am talking about anymore?

like, totally.

sigh. those ships.

mom is that her?

this daddy woody allen look-a-like blogger was milling about so we fucked with him a bit. super lovely guy i’ll go fish out his card, i gave him a 5 minute serious blog consult in between razzing him about not having his wedding ring on, dee loved it and i said i am SO my mother’s daughter haha oh god.

i waved at him across the way cos i wanted to be on camera and then he like, stops filming ha.

checked out the view a lot. great reception.

that woman was lining up mojitos. i lost track. actually if i listed every alcoholic beverage i consumed yesterday the intervention party would begin immediately instead of tomorrow night here. tickets are $25 bitch say what i do not buy tickets. nuh uh.

my profound inspiration i guess that’s why this blog either sucks or is mega-awesome. hay-o.

very cute party branding. seeing the word blog everywhere made me very happy.

there’s my girl hi donna!

i party stalked the woman in the purple maxi dress a bit, with a baby pink pashmina so fabulous.

ha.

dude. bad pose. so awkward. if i sat you’d have seen my underwear which dee said happened to katy perry. i haven’t been up on my sesame street i’ll have to google that one.

what is this now hall of shame reject photo pile? yup.

oh hi there who’re your friends?

happy women make the world go round.

i think they put out more too. i just made that up.

fabulous blogher babe. go big, wear that dress, amiright? she said she kept being stopped about it.

don’t pass up an opp to flatter and compliment. positivity spreads.

sarah lives in philly, is from calgary, as is michelle. i should bone up on some jokes before i catch up with them.

i wonder what ridiculous outfit i should create for today.

giddy-uppa. pre-drank supplies. we did not get those shots ugh the last time i did those i punched my brother in the head with a left hook. he totally deserved it though.

costume change!

sarah said this is disgusting. sounds like tramp talk to me. booze whip cream. can i bring these home? should i?

STAY CLASSY SAN DIEGO. i wanna watch ron burgundy SO EFFING BAD. we’ve been making nonstop references.

her view.

oh wow look in the mini mirror it’s my teeth biohazard warning bottoms upside down.

awaiting michelle’s arrival.

holy lesbo seduction set-up gahaa.

funnest hotel.

look tarek! i guess that means this leather tone is chic yeah? my clutch goes missing like a chameleon on that thing.

don’t even start on the courtney love thing i am just waiting for these locks to grow to my belly button and then no one will f with me ever again. this one guy called me courtney all night long and i wasn’t even that much of a shit show. it’s ok, one woman yelled at me I LOVE YOUR HAIR! or your hair is awesome so that set me straight for the next 24 hours.

i will be looking back on this experience super fondly and so totally will be saying yes if i am invited back again next year. maybe do a talk?

til then, village of the damned out. adios muchachos.