Dear Amanda Peet

you are my BONER OF THE WEEK

you win because you scared the shit out of me in saving silverman and you wore that shirt that showed your entire coat rack figure that you could like look inside of when you leaned over because it was basically two baby bibs taped to your nipples and you were a psycho controlling cuckoo bitch i <3 you.

you also could have a mushroom cut and it would still work in fact, your hair isn’t very original or interesting to look at but it doesn’t even matter cos your personality and caterpillar eyebrows totally take over and i am like WOW.

in igby goes down you humped macaulay culkin’s brother and you didn’t even give a care and i was like ME TOO AMANDA!

you were also very good at mindfucking jack black and steve zahn in saving silverman i was like ooooh she’s good.

it would be cool if we were friends cos you would make everyone feel inferior and they’d say snarky things like OH YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH THAT AMANDA PEET WOMAN TODAY RIGHT? all jealous-like and i would be like YES AND SHE SAID THE MEANEST SHIT ABOUT YOU THE OTHER DAY!

i would feel inferior all the time too and like a huge slob cos your nails would be all did and mine are all ripped and hang-naily and no one would look at me anymore but that would be ok because you would be my friend and i could borrow your stuff sometimes and tell you jokes about napkins until you got bored of me bye.