ANOTHER EXCERPT FROM MY STORY NOT YET TITLED

Larry lives two floors above us with his parents in our condo building. We met him in the elevator our fist day moving in this past December. His parent’s condo is twice the size of ours, they have half the entire floor. They are loaded. Larry does nothing. He is an only child and has absolutely zero plans to move out on his own.

Larry dresses like he is homeless and he never shaves or brushes his hair. He’s one of those dudes who thinks if people know he comes from wealth that they will use and take advantage of him and therefore spends his days “testing” girls, it is utterly annoying and entertaining.

Me and Sam are his friends and Larry put us through one of his “tests” back in January, we both passed, according to Larry’s standards.

Sam’s test was inviting Larry to a fancy work thing and Larry got retardedly wasted, fully embarrassing Sam and Sam still drove Larry the next day to pick his car up from the airport.

I passed Larry’s test by telling him to fuck off when he tried to get me to admit that I only was friends with him for his money and out of geographical convenience and then I didn’t speak to him for two weeks and he thought that was “really cool of me” to not fall for his shit.

Since then Larry and I hang out pretty much every afternoon during the week.

Larry is 35 years old and he has a tiny dog that looks like Toto, but tinier still, and his dog is named Carl, for irony Larry says.