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no one will ever notice all your shit is bogus

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i love when late is right on time. the rapist and i are similar fuck ups in the regard of punctuality.

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i tried zooming in, still can’t make out what he typed about me. assume something along the lines of stubborn intellectual, witty, charming, beautiful, beatific…

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he said i seemed like a different person, less anxious. i said it was because i was tired but yeah i guess i’m way less strung out than i was in february. it’s been that long. i missed april’s appointment because we meet so infrequently (cos he knows i’m not a sorry case). he said i was cracking more jokes than usual.

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cliche box. won’t be needing you today! maybe i seem different cos i wasn’t wearing goth eye makeup. or because i looked like sam kinison.

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he left the room when i took these. well, i took these when he left the room. i told him basically i know i’m playing fire with (smoking) weed but i’m cutting down. he asked how much i smoke daily i said the size of my pinky nail. he asks if that’s a gram and i laughed at him. no way man that’s like the dust you find at the bottom of my purse he’s all so do you buy an ounce a week. then i laughed at him some more. no i can make a 20/30 bag last two weeks. then about my drinking which i have always fibbed about a little. it’s sporadic. i guess i binge drink? i don’t drink daily at least anymore. my sugar cravings are due to that i’ve established and he agrees, cos i am in a constant state of withdrawal. cool! then about blow i said i’ve only tried it less than i can count on one hand since last summer. insignificant. barely a bump and i am blaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaah! don’t need much as i’m only wee. i drew him a picture of the toronto blow scene. everyone does it and everyone hates that they do it, they all imbibe in secret. they go out saying they won’t do it then they do it and feel like shit for two days. they have friends they avoid because those friends do it and don’t like doing it alone. we all drink too much but that’s city life it’s hard, can be. then i felt i was complaining too much or whining and i said ahh white people problems and he goes what? i said it’s a luxury to be sad and he said well no not with your past was it a luxury going through all that? hmm good point doctor thank you for justifying a few more months of stupidity to come awesommmmme.

mentioned i drank too much caffeine though. at one point i thought i fucked my eyes and brain up from too much weed cos my eyes get jittery sometimes, twitchy, but then i realized i hadn’t had any weed this day but a fuck ton of coffee so, it’s the caffeine. can’t help it can’t stop it. dependent. at least i cut it out with the energy drinks.

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i know starbucks is for assholes but they just have good shit mang. everybody does it. skinny cinnamon dolce latte is my bag. don’t worry i make up for it by drinking lots of hipster coffees.

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melodie’s love potion tea for a wedding. i say call it lover you should have come over. or be my husband. jeff buckley tunes.

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bought this yesterday at that weird grocery store in parkdiddy. celery and cucumber too. this blows your head off. such a good heat.

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hipster house hipster house braaaaaaaaah beware the hipster house!

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hipster fridge with hipster things to eat and hipster drink!

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wakame salad the only picture i took with my phone at sushi on queen last nite pre-concert with the beast. we undertipped cos the waitress pissed him off. i tipped more for my 12 dollar bill the other week than we did last nite on 60. yeah the service was shitty. don’t expect rock and roller treatment in a borderline fast food atmospheric setting you paunce.

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obnoxious boat.

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my couch was hit by a drive by slobbing.

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roots appointment this afternoon and then i can shut up about it for awhile.

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i take these vitamins daily. that mess is not mine. that is the bodum i bought from starbucks to replace the one i smashed. that is the last vitamin spazz package i have left.

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hipster wall hipster wall!

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looks better arranged the other way ’round.

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this grandiose proclamation of indifference is for sale.

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better.

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HIPSTER HALL.

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HIPSTER LIGHTING.

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hipster hips doing something not caring ahaha ok i’ll stop.

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see how i have no eyes without eyeliner? no wonder i can’t see shit at night when i’m biking.

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ginger green tea.

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the tits painting is of me when i online modeled at 19 by jamie. miss that guy.

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had a grand ole time.

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i am not in love with her anymore. she diva’d out about cameras. my guy told me pre-hand to hide mine well so i opted to not bring it and just take a few with my phone. then at one point in-between songs she gets all mean girl about the red and orange lights from the cameras in the audience. so catty like, “and that orange light see it doesn’t do anything..” in that attitude voice she has in all her movies, what? at that moment we almost just left it was so bullshit. we had a handful of drink tickets still though. i was pretty gunned. gave one away to a chick cos beast blocked her view i hugged her and said sorry it’s only temporary we just fought our way through the crowd to get to this bar and everybody is mean. then fucking deschanel says that camera thing. vip was sucking cos no one was dancing because they had to not waste one solid second of staring good and hard at zooey. if no one’s revealing the good time they’re having it pisses me off.

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massively starstruck all the same. i get it, artists are into MOMENTS but seriously get over yourself what age do you think you’re living in? it’s the digital age baby. why don’t you have a long boring conversation about facebook with that girl who could never spell. also, have you heard about these things called marketing, publicity, promotion? sorry just a bit exasperated as this comes up for me way too frequently, people get pissy, they want to be heard like it means something like i care if you care that i exist so openly on the internet. balls.

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have leftovers. sound academy knows how to win me over that’s for fuckin’ sure. vip access up the yin yang. tia carrera was on the scene too!

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anticipation. show was sold out. beautiful music, beautiful girl. too bad she’s an uptight vegan who doesn’t like tofu and is allergic to gluten. hahaha.

ok moving on now to my next big stupid whatever thing.

go to narwhal tonite for this party it’s a big deal. kristin got stripey marshmallows and prosecco for it. adorable. i’m going to try and show my face prior to the rethink romp event which you can still get tickets for. the CN Tower will be pink tonite because of it and supporting breast cancer awareness. don’t forget to feel yourselves up girls.

28 thoughts on “no one will ever notice all your shit is bogus”

  2. if you search youtube there are a few videos of sarah silverman getting angry at people taping her doing stand-up. in one she makes the point that why would she want people to see grainy crappy video instead of a professional hbo special or something.

  4. that point makes zero sense and she is fucking irritating and always has to be “on” it’s a little desperate. plus she says poop, dealbreaker.

  5. That orange light… guess what, you can’t necessarily shut that off, but more likely, who the fuck cares. That’s just about final straw material. Doe eyes can only make up for so much.

    I was pissed I missed her in Millennium park a couple days ago. This made me feel better about it, thanks!

  6. The Shrink was writing on the screen on how messy offices indicate a conflicted personality rife with inner-confusion and borderline neuroses with a lack of disciplinary structure inherent to – gee, wonder if Sarah Silverman shaves it down there

  8. I don’t know if you’ve ever done this but if you haven’t try!: next time you are out for sushi and feeling adventurous order what the chef recommends. We did that and it was a mango/salmon roll and it was the most amazing thing I ever ate.

  13. Great post. You are so honest with your doc. I am not…I almost got kicked out of the psych ward once for smoking weed. Lied about it, of course.
    How was M. Ward? We don’t get many famous peeps in E-town, except at the arena. Loving the vegan who hates tofu. What’s up vegans and soy sauce? Lactic acid? hmmm. xo J.

  15. whatever the big deal is about weed… that part went right over my head… especailly the amounts you say you are smoking

    alcohol, tobacco and christ even salt and white sugar are more harmful

    ask your shrink how often he uses white sugar

  20. Were you on the floor at all? I swear I saw you (or your doppelgänger!) but it was in the general admission section!

  21. i was going to volunteer at rethink romp… haha i would have seen you there if i’d signed up earlier

    “too bad she’s an uptight vegan who doesn’t like tofu and is allergic to gluten.” – hahahahaha. didn’t know that about her, but describes me pretty well. hahahaha

  23. yep on floor at one point check my photo/s you can tell i was at the downstairs bar also i wrote that i fought my way thru crowd and vip was lame. pay attention kid! where were you?

  24. Energy drinks are raw poison, kid. And I’m a hypocrite for saying that, because I had four vodka Red Bulls last weekend, but still, I felt terrible for it. (And afterwards.)

    Coffee isn’t that that bad for you but those things are like a jolt to the nervous system.

    Your shrink sounds dope.

  25. Oh… and I think your breakdown on coke in Toronto could actually be a breakdown on coke amongst the youngish in any major city on Earth, save some places in South America where it’s like a patriotic duty to do blow.

    (Supporting the domestic economy and all.)

  26. I kind of miss your ole apt with all those photos in the living room. Now it’s a changeling everyday: new hair, random places, dudes kicking around. Geez G work a work it.

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