abstract heroine hangover

oh look it’s the blog about the things and the stuff about the things hi!

come and get your shirt casie. i’m not washing it those badges are way too delicate.

one of my tips from friday nite. we’re not sure if it’s real or not, it’s a good centimetre shy of the length of a real five. meh.

kamila got cut early then she GOT CUT came back to get down and tell everyone how much she looooves them. i love drunkamila hahahaha better than her other nickname from paintball. anyway she says i’m sexy and plays with my hair and dances with me. yeah i’ve already put feelers out for a potential makeout, it’s not happening but feel free to come by to watch me in rejection action anyway. she can’t handle dirty jokes so now that i know this it’s like i can’t help but exclusively reference blow jobs. it’s an eastern euro black and white thing for sure. toughest crowd ever.

aaron is the one who gets all the phone numbers because he acts like he hates you (according to clem)(which is nothing but bullshit anyway) and it works. me i got no game, in fact, my game is saying the most awkward not funny thing ever that gets no laughs then walking away as fast as possible into a fucking wall. no one actually believes that i’m shy, SO shy. i fight it so hard, when i’m talking and seeming super casual whatever inside my head i am dyyying. classic bipolar.

have gotten skinnier since working at the central from the steam bath we go through for hours every nite. i costume change too cos i sweat tons. i even sweat when sitting still for hours on end on my laptop. gross and annoying oh nice. it’s especially fun when you can SEE a bead of sweat take form and roll down your side. i guess i’m just really toxic. sorry for sicking you out.

met teppei’s dog she is soooo darling and beautiful, husky dog eyes so sky white blue, amazing. it was like the first time i heard the beatles looking into them. teppei developed a mini crush from seeing my dog whispering skills.

at the end of the nite clem was all um are these even work safe? HA NO! though i’m loads lighter on my feet in them so maybe i’ll have to invest in some hipster jazz shoes that i actually owned and feel like if i caved and bought a pair i’d hate myself from obligatorily owning many pairs in the past, considering how expensive each pair was and how fucking geeky like, shunningly so but now it’s cool. shorts my brain right out at the thought.

but who needs a brain when you look like this, jesus! when i mess up at work my go-to excuse is i am a woman so my brain is smaller, sorry or i have a tinier brain. gets a laugh, diffusing the sitch. the smarter-seeming the guy the bigger the laugh. saying you have a smaller brain makes you look smarter. FACT.

then i almost cracked my head open falling off one of the taller bar chairs. my heart never raced so hard. i didn’t actually fall, caught myself in the nick of time. never hooking my gams over the back of one of those things for a photo ever again i’m brain damaged enough already.

reunited with his scarf. it’s ok, melodie has 80 scarves hanging up in the water closet, i’ve been eyeing them.

good tips last nite. ass take a bow.

well if anything it makes us look funnier. overheard many customers laughing their balls off over it.

zero people noticed my ghetto money nails.

my chair stacking art maybe i will balance one of the plants atop next time.

the best hair day i’ll never have again.

ok now i have to do some karaoke machine sleuthing. can you guys picture me as a regular karaoke host and would you come to see me sing and then sing, maybe thursday nites? holy dream job i am dying all over myself right now thinking about it. maybe i’ll get a headset mic and bus tables at the same time or go to the bathroom. during an interview many years ago i forgot i was mic’ed still, went to the bathroom and talked shit about the interviewer at the same time. i’m sure that was fun to play back in the editing bay. suite? i’m glad we can talk industry terms together, i feel like we’re on the same level now.

as hung as i am i’m glad i have a meeting today to force me out to greet the sun’s glaring rays of judgment and thorough disappointment in me as a human. i need to start writing more raymisemoisms. i started a twitter for the central you should follow it, not much is on it yet but when we start using it more that’ll be the guy. follow thebabecentral (thecentral was taken)(and not like the babe central is misleading or anything, hay-o).