TOP TEN WAYS TO ADD EXCITEMENT TO A LONG CAR TRIP
10. Play “auto-bingo”
9. Try to eat ear of corn while steering
8. Play connect-the-dots with dead bugs on windshield
7. Practice sudden bootlegger turns
6. When traffic is light, drop pants around your ankles
5. Have long conversations with imaginary friends after picking up hitch-hikers
4. Lean on horn and swerve as you approach stalled motorists
3. Tune to static on radio and pretend you’re the last person on earth
2. See how long you can drive with your eyes closed
1. Talk guy behind counter at Stucky’s into leaving family and joining you
