i ran away to tell the world
so this weekend was filled with a medley of snores. not the oh man that was boring kind of snores. real snore snores. literal snores. fil and i shared the top bunk and got to listen to some kind of animal right above our heads that when you closed your eyes sounded like it was IN the fucking room with you. and then we listened to samir pepper the room with mouth music. then we dosed ourselves with some chill pills. both nites i slept til about 3 or 4 then took the couch. i just get anxious when not on the ground floor, it wouldn’t require much to think myself into puking. the first nite climbing over fil and down i almost broke my ankle. the second nite we closed all the windows so bears wouldn’t come eat us (are there even bears on that island? fil says no) and then around 3 in the morning it was a total sauna, fil was soaked in sweat and i felt like i was suffocating and extremely claustrophobic. so down i went to use the bathroom (outhouse) and fucking sprinted cos i felt like bears were going to chase me. what a wiener. thanks for putting that idea in my head. so i’m on the couch and then stefan comes strolling in desperate for water. he packed’er in early from givin’er hard all saturday then samir and the dog got up, then i finally fell asleep and what felt like two minutes later it was ten o’clock and everyone was up. such is the life of the couch surfer.
the point of this story is i got some more snoring presentations last nite courtesy of fil. i finished my book and i didn’t feel like drinking anymore or taking more chill pills so basically over-tired/wired can’t sleep also watching sketchy vintage to serve and protect (watch it sunday nites at 11 on suntv it’s the best, all footage from 80s/90s so so awesome) got my mind racing. fil wasn’t even really snoring my ears were just so acute to sound from no background cottage lake water rippling sounds getting in the way. then cid showed up to display all the various shapes of seashells he can impersonate with his body while purring like a goddamn lawnmower in my ear. alright enough of this time for the couch so i get the other duvet, remove one of the couch back cushions and lie down. now with me no longer in the room crooning brainwashy CLOSE YOUR MOUTH attempts at the back of fil’s head, guy was free to let it loose and i got to hear it all from the couch. even cid wanted to escape it and pawed at the door for ten minutes til it opened and the door wasn’t even closed all the way stupid idiot!
after this i was treated to ten minutes of the sound of cid sitting on a plastic bag i left on the floor. asshole. there’s fifty cloth bags littered all over the place and you choose a dominion bag. thank you.
next up of course was joining me on my chest in the hopes of first strangling then choking me with his paws then SITTING on my face with his gigantic ass and of course repositioning himself 40 times all of which ensuring as much fur as possible is covering my nostrils and mouth at all times. by this point i am extremely flattered, annoyed, and wide awake thinking ok this is how i am going to die. i was having trouble sleeping knowing i had to get up and be ready to go to that spa treatment appointment. even if i have something scheduled at say 3pm the following day, it will keep me up. anyway, woke up around 6 then went to bed and slept til 9.30 made to the appt for 11 good thing i didn’t shower cos they washed my hair. curled it too and did my make up. biking home all the curls fell out.
oh and i fell in the lake with all my clothes on saturday nite. slid down a rock and the water went up to right below my pockets, lucky cos my camera was in one. then i put on shorts and joined audrey in crayfish hunting. we got 7.
BYE!
thanks audrey! hi mary!
sorry, but the description of cid sitting on your face was just so awesome and dead-on accurate for those of us with cats who can visualize this – i laughed my ass off!
dude if there are bears on that island they are totally inbred and trashy and would probably want to kidnap you and keep you as a mate JUST SAYING bears don’t swim, right?
Remember the story about the poor deer who swam to Toronto Island from Leslie spit cause he was terrified of the one coyote? So like, now he’s the only deer on the island and they don’t know what to do with him cause he’ll grow old and die alone? True story!
any big mammal found on an island would make its voyage during winter over the frozen ice if it wasn’t a far distance.
love the mask
Stop with fuken mask you’re scaring the rubes!! I’m serious I’m having nightmares of demented bloggers with insane laughs and hysterical smiles accosting me!!
Ugh, I had to deal with some terrible snores this weekend camping at Hillside. I feel your pain!
i have to sleep with a noisy one too, and i can’t fall asleep even just listening to heavy breathing. earplugs, raymi! they work like a charm. the purple ones from pharma are the best for sleeping.
i love crayfish “hunting” that sounds pretty badass
i searched everywhere and couldn’t find my earplugs.
Hi Raymi! hahaha I’m so glad you all had fun at our island. Too bad about all the snoring – it’s a good thing kenny wasn’t there – his snoring would scare away the bears. Speaking of bears, didn’t Audrey tell you my bear story? One morning about 5:00am I was sound asleep on the bottom bunk in the cottage. The papillons were on the bed with me. All of a sudden they startled but they didn’t bark which was wierd. I jumped out of the bed and went to the window expecting to see a racoon and my face was 3 feet from a black bear!!! When I looked out the window, he stood up a bit ( he was on the deck) and looked right at me! Well he got a bit of a scare ( me in the morning) and he took off like a bat out of hell. hahaha Too funny.
The cool thing is that whenever we see wildlife on our island, we know that they had to swim to get there. Unless they came across on the ice and are stuck there until next winter……..
We have seen deer and moose swim over.
So glad you had fun – but it sure looks like you are going to have fun wherever you go. My kind of girl.
Mary
glad i didn’t run into one on my way to the bathroom, would be neat to see ‘em swimming though. get ready for a slew of photos starring your cottage. xo (oh and the snoring wasn’t that bad, i just lost one of my earplugs the second nite. all worth it)
sometimes my 60 pound dog sits on my face, so I understand. sigh.
did you eat the crayfish they’re actually really good
i’ve never heard of bears on any island now that you mention it, i think they need a lot of land to work with but even on big islands i’ve never seen a bear. the thing to remember is they’re way more scared of you than you are of them, also their noses are sensitive like dog noses, punch their noses.
it’s a big island and it’s thick with trees. the crayfish was fishing bait.
cute outfit chick.
ugh i’m the same way with appts, can’t sleep just thinking about all the things i have to remember to take and in order for that to stop going around in my head i have to get up, turn on the lights and make a list so i can get at least 4 hours in