Hi, hello there.

My name is Raymi, i am 21 years old and i am a woman, and i have been a product of consumer victimization of the all mighty MegaTouch for seven years now which is great for you, great for me even, because MegaTouch sharpens my senses whilst getting soused in pubs all over the place, specifically in Canada, however, it is not so great for me because it is MY dollar in YOUR pocket(s) and yes, i know it’s a capitalist world we live in, and how great that is, and so on…

anyway, i am writing you now on behalf of the patrons of PrimeTime and myself.

What is PrimeTime?

Well, PrimeTime is a sports bar what used to be known as the Bearded Collie way back when things in this town were less “let’s get modern because that’s how we will make the monies off the rich kids” etc. and this town is Oakville, well actually it’s a city but still, it’s pretty much a town. It’s the richest town in all of North America, basically, and 87 per cent of the population is European.

The town of disposable income, pretty much.

However, not everyone in this town has their shit together enough to work hard and play hard, you know what i mean? Not everyone can afford to MegaTouch their heart and soul while they cry into a pint during cheap wings nite, popping coin after coin after coin into the slot.

And now that the lucrative geniuses you are have upped the prices, we will be forced to MegaTouch not at all because the MegaTouch machine in PrimeTime, essentially the only entertainment in the town of Oakville, is 2 dollars for 2 credits, ahem, where exactly is the fairness in that?

Did you actually think this would work?

We’re pretty angry, you know, we’ve pumped so much money into that thing, mastered all the games, convinced ourselves it wasn’t that bad we were wasting our money because for a dollar one would receive three credits of play and for a twoonie (2 dollar canadian coin) you got six, tho’ in other establishments you get seven credits, what a bargain, don’t you agree?

Anyhow Mr. Ballouz, i don’t intend for the tone of this email to piss you off, i only hope to persuade you to give us more credits for a twoonie, four would be sufficient, two is just plain insulting.

Here we are playing this game 365 days of the year, makin’ ya’ll think oooh it is SO popular, we’ll put some new flashy games, give ‘em less credits for their $$$ and WE will be RICH.

Honestly though, MegaTouch was just fine the way it was without having to add some hokey TVguide crossword game to it.

How would you react if you were in my position?

I know, you would simply NOT PLAY MEGATOUCH because you wouldn’t be able to afford it, tho’ you’re addicted so you will play it anyway, right? Just like hiking cigarette prices? Fantastic.

We’ll play it anyway, you think? You hope?

Time will only tell.

Anyhow, yes I have considered that it is possible that you have absolutely nothing to do with any of this sort of thing, though you do have the fancy VP title of sorts and really, a response from you and yours, i know will not grace my inbox, this simply was/is a writing excercise for me and my fanbase and this whole email will be on my website, so, yeh, thanks for your time.

i am still your friend.

xo

raymitheminx.com

ps. good luck with the whole marketing strategy thing and the like.