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blog whisperer

Hey Monday Mondaze, ready for a Germania high-speed Ferrari chase? Lets do lunch first.

No not this. This was a hangover choice (the most best of all) plus there is definitely not this kind of stupidity at home. I am a life sampler and this sample needs to get in my life. It neither tastes like chicken nor reggae nor spice, so anor-ing. Maybe I’ll feed the rest to the fish.

I don’t think you ever kick candy. That’s a kid thing. Ingrained. When your bf is a diabetic-in-training and addiction is custards and puddings and pastries with custards and puddings IN them, you gotta throw down your own sweet tooth credentials, nah man you’re doing it wrong. I just endured ten cavities and a couple roots on my right side seem to be exposed. I let my mouth get disgusting over the last 5 years.

I was pretty pissed off about this. We scored 2 beers off Worst (yes that is his name, I don’t know why cos he’s the best) when we left but yeah one of them obviously didn’t make it through the night.

Beer funeral is served. I bet half my skeezer readers would let this melt in a cup then drink it later on. I know cos I wanted to but “someone” was like no, glass are you crazy? I’ll drink around the glass! I protested. Like the time I said I will outrun the mosquitos in Thunder Bay when we climbed up the mountain.


Well at least they are romantic. I had a bite of one, then had two more. So good. I also became buzzed off one of his tira misu’s. Awesome.

Another award-winning outfit Lauren. This country is colder than I thought. Mom we were wrong. SO many things you nixed from my wardrobe or talked me out of packing (Smythe blazer hello!) I should have packed. He said Spring/Summer I heard ARUBA. Anyway these are AA pants and looking pretty thin haha.

I like my “new look” though. It just overtly screams COUCH and LAZY and YOU GO TO WORK DRESSED LIKE THAT ON A WEEK DAY? Bahah. No, on “work” days I wear jogging pants bro. j/k I put a nice shirt on last week to skype with Dom. COUNTS. This shirt says St. Moritz which is a rich ski person’s destination in Switzerland. Okay if I’m gonna look like a douchebag it’s gonna be a rich douchebag.

Raining again. It rains off and on a lot here so you better check an App before bike riding or taking your motorcycle. When we got to our destination it was sunny and clear. WTF Europe?

People watching boner time.

This is our regular Italian joint. His friend wasn’t working today. Too bad. They f–ed up a lot of our order ahah.

Well at least they like jazz music.

I like the interior shape of the roof.

And that place.

Even this view.

This “prosecco” was disgusting. Meh. Booze is booze.


Um I was trying to get the red napkin and candle. He wasn’t actually staring at me he was in a stone cold daze for a minute. I liked him. Ignoring his entire family of younger girls and their dads plus a mom thrown in.

I wonder what German thoughts could be swirling around in that head.

The candles and the napkins are a nice look.

Aw bye.


I like the multi-levels.

See it’s sunny out.

One of the dads kept staring at me I kept busting him he probably wanted me in his daughter cult.

I kept thinking I hope this thing can hold the two of us.

I loved that guy with the ponytail he reminded me of two pony tails I know in a past life. 1. The hippie bus driver from St. Joes elem and prob for other schools as well. and 2. Mr. Stern the drama teacher who always wore sandals RIP dude. He sat alone and read some literature on the town and had a wallet with all these papers and cards in it and because he was the last one left in the restaurant, I stared at him. Well there was a family on the other side too I will get to them. I will just get it out of the way now instead. The mom got drool all over her leg from one of her sleeping boys, aw. I saw her camel toe. Aw again. Red pants and red boot heels. Interesting look.

Tastes like…HELL. Btw I’m listening to this as I write this drivel.


Turns out peperoni is German for peppers and not it’s English best friend Pepperoni WTFFFFFF. Luckily I love spicy peppers but no wonder the German chick kept asking if we liked hot [pepperoni] then these green bean looking guys arrive on my pizza THEN I realized no one knew what the hell was going on.

At least everything tastes the same though. Like garlic butter.

I never know what it is we’re ordering like when Shannen Doherty goes to Paris in 90210 with dumb ass Donna and they eat brains? Shark jumping abroad episodes are so desperate. Meanwhile, in Germany… lol.

Why would we order bread? Hi can we have a huge plate of bread, fuck I just love bread so much I wish we could eat an order of it before a large pizza and shit that isn’t enough carbs lets get some pasta and beer too. Idiot. Lol. We ordered pizza bites, with cheese in them. I was like ok maybe they do them different now and the stuff is all on the inside. Negatory. These beasts were empty. We ate our meals, waited an hour, I had some vodkas, then the pizza rolls arrived. The guy kept coming out and looking at us with relief cos we were chill as hell, completely full like whatever I guess they forgot but no, they fucked up and burnt another batch before finally getting the third one correct LOL I love their German honesty so much no chef in Toronto would come out and tell you all of that and then it’s like F that story why is this Canadian here??? Just wait til I tell you guys about Hemelvaart I got the blowing of a century. I love it here.

I wonder what WWII woulda been like here back then. Then a shiver goes down my spine. I totally had a panic attack during the air show on hemelvaart, it was bad but then I got wasted to turn off my brain. No more weed for me! Ha. It’s one of my post 9/11 perma-mental problems. But it’s also a combined personal sensitivity to the world at present too, looking up at planes and thinking about Boston and yeah, anxiety time!

Super Reichy.

About this time Ferraris started whizzing by. LOTS OF THEM. Mostly reds, yellows, silvers and blacks. A variety of makes, models, years. The kid in the front’s mind was blown, it was a special few moments. I didn’t take any pictures until maybe the 200th car (okay fine, 100th) went by and we were like this is nuts we have to follow them. I guess it was a car club. I know my uncle used to do that with his car kin, going for drives in their teeny vintage corgis.

I’m glad this jungle is joining me for lunch. Whatever. Why stop now.

Seriously it was resting on and all over my head ahahhaa. They gave me goblets of vodka water so it was pretty cool sure bring me a bird for my shoulder next please.

Ancient. What am I even looking at?

And then a year later.

I only had one.

Jesus Christ.

Then stuff it with some garlic butter which instantly melts. We were still kinda hung from Hemelvaart. We don’t really drink here or party much believe it or not so I think it’s alright to admit to being two day hung lazy marathon sloth styles yeah? Thanks guys. Plus it was Saturday.

Getting steamy over there.

Here we go put your car porn hats on now. Dudes I shoulda just directed you to this point sorry for making you go through all of that first.

I got whistled at. The first car I got too. I can now classify as FERRARI HOT on top of NIGHTCLUB HOT. (What other hots do you know?) BICYCLE HOT is another good one.

They were at the castle my bf kept saying. Def a club, check the paper on the dash, many had it.

They call me mellow yellow. Actually, what rhymes with high-strung?


I like that my regular is beside a castle that’s all just saying heeheh. It was bittersweet to see the park on the other side with all my medieval fair friend’s tents vanished from it. So sad. Everything is so sad. That’s still a running joke in these parts by the way. The cows are so sad because they cannot drive Ferraris.

I stayed at a Hotel Bellevue in Quebec City in grade 8. Our room of six girls was super f–ing loud and got multi citations. We had MusiquePlus cranked.

2 STDs? Um no please.

We waited until a few more went by to make sure they were going in a cluster and not just their separate ways. They were going their separate ways but we tailed a group of three. I bet they hated that as we so totally were not a Ferrari. So what you don’t own the road.

I had a red Ferrari for my barbies so I was in the club too.

Mouth watering.

Lets follow him. And as a bonus they taught us a new route. Bf was like whoever chose this probably got some heat for it cos a lot of it was rough terrain for low-riding Ferraris, dumb in a sense.


In shadowing them we traveled back and forth over the German/Holland border several times. It was neat. Felt like following Unicorns.

Like we were in a parade and everyone was watching, animals too.

Alright alright.

Then a super old school vintage one appeared behind us.

So we separated from our friends who did not want to be our friends.

We made some new friends. It was cute waving to them and they all waved back, one guy tried to thumb a ride. They were def drinking :). Farmers.

Clogs too.

Wonder what they were up to.

Then we went home and watched movies. I have no idea which ones.

Was Kristin Wiig good on SNL? Don’t get it here and if we did it would be broadcast at 5:30AM whoops. KAY BYE HAVE A NICE DAY.

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